r/Glasgow Tools

**TLDR: Moved from Scandinavian country, because of Brexit and family, to Glasgow 2 years now, feel like a complete alien/outsider. Glaswegian parents, feel utterly alone and pessimistic about the future, particularly with career, friends and love. People seem happy here, despite everything that is going on. I want to fit in, find my place, or better yet, feel like I am giving some of myself back to people. Appreciate some of this will sound cynical and overly critical of Glaswegian life, but I would appreciate some direct, honest reality check, no matter how offensive or harsh you think that might be, I am open to all thoughts, suggestions and corrections.**


About 2 years ago, my relationship ended, my work contract ended, my father was in poor health and I had to make a decision about my future in the country I had called home for almost a decade. It was tough, but I was excited about the prospect of something new and I suddenly had a shock of mortality about life; my family were older and they would not be here forever. More optimistically, I had new skills from a very progressive and technologically advanced country, Glasgow must have changed a lot since 2010. It has, but in many ways I feel like there is less of a future for me here and I have achieved very little in terms of establishing myself or integrating into the culture. I went to high school here and to college and my parents are both born and raised here; although they did spend some years elsewhere in the world when they came back to Glasgow they settled in again fairly quickly.

It has been very difficult to adjust. I found it very easy at first to meet people, but I haven't had any lasting friendships or anything beyond "mates". I am at the age where I am thinking about meeting someone for the long-term or even starting a family, but being single in my 30s, I have discovered a whole new set of problems, ones that others have overcome, but I haven't.

There clearly are lots of happy, easy going and kind people around, I see them but I feel a complete fraud and an outsider. After finding a job relatively quickly, I didn't expect that I would be here (or at least still living with my parents for very long), unfortunately, I lost my job in lockdown and I have had many late nights staring at the ceiling feeling very down and pessimistic about the future. Being stuck indoors for over a year certainly hasn't helped, but I would like to do something about it and I feel I would benefit from getting this off my chest or at the very least bracing myself for some "tough love" in the form of honest feedback. Even if that is "yer talkin' s\*\*\*e", I'd like to hear it. Especially if you are not originally from Glasgow but you have learned to make a good life for yourself here. I think it's time to eat some humble pie and accept that the city doesn't need to change for me to be happy, I do.

The first month was great, and I could really see the benefits of living here long term. After a few weeks, that was when I got the culture shock. I look around and there are plenty of people who are very happy in their lives in this city. Different personalities, different ages, different backgrounds. But it obviously works for them, so there must be something I am doing wrong and I want to find out what that is.

There are 3 main issues that I am having no success in integrating with in Glasgow. Work, friends, love. The main thing that clashes with all 3 is my personality. I've got to make a trade off or at the very least some adjustments to my mannerisms if I want a better life in Glasgow. Here is an overview of my last 2 years of integrating in Glasgow:


**1) Work** \- I found work relatively quickly, but this was where I ran into my first issues. I got on very well with my team