r/Glasgow Tools

Title	West End Hooligans
Author	twoxraydelta
Body	An unfortunate incident. Had a spare ticket for the game last night so invited my mate Dave from Hammersmith up. We parked up in the West End to go get the subway for Ibrox and as we jump out the car with our Rangers tops on, we immediately hear shouts of “SNP SNP SNP” Is there some sort of unorganised rally going on I wondered. “SNP SNP fuck the tories.” Spoiler alert, no tories in sight. “Ayeee you two! S N P all the way.” We looked around for the protestors but the only person we can see is a guy hanging out of a first floor flat window, decked out in a plaid shirt, a flat cap bunnet and sporting a patchy, wispy beard that could indicate extremely low levels of testosterone. Having realised he caught our attention he takes a big puff of vape and exhales like a child attempting to blow candles. PFFFFFFFFFFFT. A light breeze catches the cloud of vapour and blows it back in his face. Surely he didn’t just try and assault us with a cloud of vape juice from a first floor window? We ignore and carry on. “CELTIC! CELTIC! CELTIC!” “Ruaridh, I thought you supported Partick and Liverpool?” a quizzing female voice behind him shouts, echoing around the tall ceilings of the 19th century architectural wonder of a flat. With every word leaving Ruaridh’s mouth he knocks £1000 off the property value as he brings his neighbourhood into disrepute. It doesn’t discourage him. “CEEEEEEEElticccc” continues the cry from the confused Jag. The raving looney is clearly trying to coax a reaction. I tell Dave to ignore him as I’d rather spend the night in the Govan Stand than Govan custody suite. Plus any physical altercation would have been taking liberties with him being built like the side of a fiver and having the bone rigidity of a granola bar. He had one those accents. An accent of no fixed abode. Deep rooted in the Mearns but trying so hard to be Maryhill. “Your Queen is dead” Ruaridh exclaims. Dave has had enough by this point. “Leave it out will ya” he shouts up in his thick London accent. “Why don’t you frig(sic) off back to England you English fecker(sic)” Ruaridh shouts from his flat. Just at this point we see another guy approaching us from the car park. Dave and I are on guard. Is this Ruaridhs hawners? The man pulls a warrant card out. Off duty British Transport Police he tells us in a Yorkshire accent. He’s not pleased at what he has just witnessed. A quick call, and a couple of his pals in the local polis have lifted Ruaridh. Charged under the Hate Crime and Public Order Act 2021. On Saturday I will invite my mate Bill who is a First Bus driver to the game, as long as he comes in uniform. I can’t wait to see how upset Ruaridh gets when he see’s the high visibility vest emblazoned with FIRST BUS. “You bastards made me late for court” he will scream.
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/xez2ap/west_end_hooligans/
Created	Thu 15th Sep 2022 4:02pm
Status	removed (Removed by [deleted])

An unfortunate incident.

Had a spare ticket for the game last night so invited my mate Dave from Hammersmith up. We parked up in the West End to go get the subway for Ibrox and as we jump out the car with our Rangers tops on, we immediately hear shouts of

“SNP SNP SNP”

Is there some sort of unorganised rally going on I wondered.

“SNP SNP fuck the tories.”

Spoiler alert, no tories in sight.

“Ayeee you two! S N P all the way.”

We looked around for the protestors but the only person we can see is a guy hanging out of a first floor flat window, decked out in a plaid shirt, a flat cap bunnet and sporting a patchy, wispy beard that could indicate extremely low levels of testosterone. Having realised he caught our attention he takes a big puff of vape and exhales like a child attempting to blow candles. PFFFFFFFFFFFT. A light breeze catches the cloud of vapour and blows it back in his face.

Surely he didn’t just try and assault us with a cloud of vape juice from a first floor window? We ignore and carry on.

“CELTIC! CELTIC! CELTIC!”

“Ruaridh, I thought you supported Partick and Liverpool?” a quizzing female voice behind him shouts, echoing around the tall ceilings of the 19th century architectural wonder of a flat. With every word leaving Ruaridh’s mouth he knocks £1000 off the property value as he brings his neighbourhood into disrepute.

It doesn’t discourage him. “CEEEEEEEElticccc” continues the cry from the confused Jag.

The raving looney is clearly trying to coax a reaction. I tell Dave to ignore him as I’d rather spend the night in the Govan Stand than Govan custody suite. Plus any physical altercation would have been taking liberties with him being built like the side of a fiver and having the bone rigidity of a granola bar. He had one those accents. An accent of no fixed abode. Deep rooted in the Mearns but trying so hard to be Maryhill.

“Your Queen is dead” Ruaridh exclaims.

Dave has had enough by this point. “Leave it out will ya” he shouts up in his thick London accent.

“Why don’t you frig(sic) off back to England you English fecker(sic)” Ruaridh shouts from his flat.

Just at this point we see another guy approaching us from the car park. Dave and I are on guard. Is this Ruaridhs hawners?

The man pulls a warrant card out. Off duty British Transport Police he tells us in a Yorkshire accent. He’s not pleased at what he has just witnessed. A quick call, and a couple of his pals in the local polis have lifted Ruaridh. Charged under the Hate Crime and Public Order Act 2021.

On Saturday I will invite my mate Bill who is a First Bus driver to the game, as long as he comes in uniform. I can’t wait to see how upset Ruaridh gets when he see’s the high visibility vest emblazoned with FIRST BUS. “You bastards made me late for court” he will scream.