| Body |
Apparently most people learn to swim before they’re 5
I learned when I was about 7 or 8 and to this day I insist I’m a strong swimmer, despite the fact I’ve not swam in 2 year.
I remember before I could swim, being pushed in a pool and thinking I was drowning. It’s obvious now I wouldn’t have, my dad, uncle and older brother were there but logic abandoned me as i thrashed about in the pool. I felt helpless.
One year ago I tried to kill myself. I had a drink with my partner and when she went to bed I continued drinking and taking what i convince myself is cocaine weekly. Immediately I regretted it and ran upstairs and woke my partner up. I ended up in hospital for 10 days as my kidney was failing. I had some notion I survived because people have it worse. I was grateful how many people were concerned.
Over 365 days later and I’m having the same thoughts. What is the point? I feel like a kid drowning in a pool every single day of my life and I’m finding it hard to pretend I’m not.
|
|---|