r/Glasgow Tools

Title
Author	saturnbands182
Comment	I think the most important thing here is going with the flow, and not taking life too seriously. I'm not sure what it was you tried to chat to these ladies about in bed but clearly they weren't impressed and I'm thinking possibly you're trying to be too deep and serious? It's obviously important to connect with someone and have deep moments... But there's a time and a place you know? Maybe 3-4 dates in isn't quite there yet. As someone who also has lived other places than Glasgow... Tread very very carefully about how you present that other 'side' of you and how much better you feel that it is. It can so easily be misinterpreted as "where I used to be is way better than here. Here is shit. You all make bad choices, these choices are better", and that kind of attitude doesn't fly well in general, never mind around proud weegies. Something to consider. The love side of things... It's true what people say. You find love most easily when you aren't looking for it. Stop looking, and focus more on finding some friends. Tinder and dating life is great fun but ultimately it's a manufactured situation, and both people know that. Real connections in this way are rare, and for the most part dating is just meant to be a bit of fun and going "aw my god that date I had last night was dire do you want to hear about it" and just having a laugh. I second other people's advice - start looking into your hobbies and interests and find a few clubs and things to do. Don't come off desperate like you "need" friends. Just be fun, happy, and enjoy the club. Ask people what theyre up to this weekend and mention that you've moved from abroad so your weekends are pretty basic right now - someone may give you an olive branch you never know. Or just ask some guy you vibe with, hey mate fancy a pint after this? Just saves me heading up the road myself! The 'one pint' thing usually works cause if folk don't feel the friendship then they can go for a quick pint and go home, and make an excuse next time. If they do vibe they can stay for a few and you can say we should do this again. Hope you get on ok - being 30 plus and lonely is shite. But a lot of people are also in your boat! So don't give up.
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/ngbewj/how_can_i_fit_into_glaswegian_life_more/gyqbc0g/
Created	Wed 19th May 2021 7:58pm
Status	normal ()

I think the most important thing here is going with the flow, and not taking life too seriously. I'm not sure what it was you tried to chat to these ladies about in bed but clearly they weren't impressed and I'm thinking possibly you're trying to be too deep and serious? It's obviously important to connect with someone and have deep moments... But there's a time and a place you know? Maybe 3-4 dates in isn't quite there yet.

As someone who also has lived other places than Glasgow... Tread very very carefully about how you present that other 'side' of you and how much better you feel that it is. It can so easily be misinterpreted as "where I used to be is way better than here. Here is shit. You all make bad choices, these choices are better", and that kind of attitude doesn't fly well in general, never mind around proud weegies. Something to consider.

The love side of things... It's true what people say. You find love most easily when you aren't looking for it. Stop looking, and focus more on finding some friends. Tinder and dating life is great fun but ultimately it's a manufactured situation, and both people know that. Real connections in this way are rare, and for the most part dating is just meant to be a bit of fun and going "aw my god that date I had last night was dire do you want to hear about it" and just having a laugh. I second other people's advice - start looking into your hobbies and interests and find a few clubs and things to do. Don't come off desperate like you "need" friends. Just be fun, happy, and enjoy the club. Ask people what theyre up to this weekend and mention that you've moved from abroad so your weekends are pretty basic right now - someone may give you an olive branch you never know. Or just ask some guy you vibe with, hey mate fancy a pint after this? Just saves me heading up the road myself! The 'one pint' thing usually works cause if folk don't feel the friendship then they can go for a quick pint and go home, and make an excuse next time. If they do vibe they can stay for a few and you can say we should do this again.

Hope you get on ok - being 30 plus and lonely is shite. But a lot of people are also in your boat! So don't give up.