r/Glasgow Tools

Title
Author	Short_mil_90
Comment	We have tried. Her son is at university and to be honest hasn't been overly helpful. The neighbour who knows her the most has offered to be in when they visit but she has refused. What's more difficult is that noone is told in advance when the visits are planned (as far as I know, they do have her sons details so maybe they do tell him?), so we never really know when someone is stopping by. As I work from home I tend to be the person in, but I don't actually know her too well so I'm not surprised having me around isn't something she would want. I did think one of the other neighbours would be able to support on this, but she refuses all entry when someone from social services or professional body turns up. I don't really know how to provide other support or what is available, I have been googling and trying my best to find help but unless you are related to them or a known carer it's actually quite difficult. We did help her between us, as neighbours, in the beginning, but her needs are now beyond what we're comfortable or feel appropriate doing. For example, there has been multiple times she has left her her door wide open and keys in the door after leaving to go out, previously if we saw this we would tidy up a little, close the door and lock it and leave her keys under the mat. She would also leave keys in the door when home so we would post them. Now if we do this she gets very confused and stressed, also the level of dirt and mess is beyond what I can stomach now (which I am aware is terrible, but I'm unable to continue to support to this level). She sometimes doesn't really make sense when speaking to her, and she is EXTREMELY defensive about the smoking or any time we bring up concerns - which we have always tried to do very gently. Her personal hygiene is very concerning, to the point I can actually smell her leaving the flat from my upstairs flat, it's not something that's easy to bring up even if it's from a place of genuine concern. I do feel like we need some professional help or someone who knows how to manage the situation/conversations, but we can't really force them to happen. It's all just so worrying for everyone. (Edit: clarity around keys)
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/tyeit6/neighbour_issue_in_southside/i3s6zrs/
Created	Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:52pm
Status	normal ()

We have tried. Her son is at university and to be honest hasn't been overly helpful. The neighbour who knows her the most has offered to be in when they visit but she has refused. What's more difficult is that noone is told in advance when the visits are planned (as far as I know, they do have her sons details so maybe they do tell him?), so we never really know when someone is stopping by. As I work from home I tend to be the person in, but I don't actually know her too well so I'm not surprised having me around isn't something she would want. I did think one of the other neighbours would be able to support on this, but she refuses all entry when someone from social services or professional body turns up.

I don't really know how to provide other support or what is available, I have been googling and trying my best to find help but unless you are related to them or a known carer it's actually quite difficult. We did help her between us, as neighbours, in the beginning, but her needs are now beyond what we're comfortable or feel appropriate doing. For example, there has been multiple times she has left her her door wide open and keys in the door after leaving to go out, previously if we saw this we would tidy up a little, close the door and lock it and leave her keys under the mat. She would also leave keys in the door when home so we would post them. Now if we do this she gets very confused and stressed, also the level of dirt and mess is beyond what I can stomach now (which I am aware is terrible, but I'm unable to continue to support to this level). She sometimes doesn't really make sense when speaking to her, and she is EXTREMELY defensive about the smoking or any time we bring up concerns - which we have always tried to do very gently. Her personal hygiene is very concerning, to the point I can actually smell her leaving the flat from my upstairs flat, it's not something that's easy to bring up even if it's from a place of genuine concern. I do feel like we need some professional help or someone who knows how to manage the situation/conversations, but we can't really force them to happen. It's all just so worrying for everyone.

(Edit: clarity around keys)