r/Glasgow Tools

Hey man. Long time sufferer of depression and anxiety here.

I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I know all about that loneliness and the sense of loss you feel not having people in your life.

You may already know but being so down can make it hard to build relationships with others. Also a personality disorder can make it extra difficult or full of extreme emotions when it comes to relationships.

In my opinion, what you need to practice is relaxing. The more you can relax, be light, have fun with others, the more easier it will be to make friends and build healthier relationships.

Always try to make your feelings less intense if they are starting to bother you or become unhelpful. When you are really down, ride it out, but don't hold on to it.

It's about recognising when you aren't quite feeling right. Trying to remain calm, ride out the storm, not holding on to bad feelings. Let them come and go.

You know there is still that happy, loving person inside you. You know it's still there. They might be buried under a lot of unhappiness at times but that person will never leave you. You know them, the one that laughs at a hilarious joke, that gets so much joy out of their favourite film or pc game. Who has hobbies, passions, interests. Who still has love in his heart for other people. Don't fucking dare give up on that person. Bring him out at every opportunity. Remember that's who you really are, a lovely, kind and interesting person who has a lot to give. Then keep trying hard to be that person, to get back to them.

That's what I do my friend. I keep trying to be that person inside me. I try to not let the depression and the extreme thinking and emotions define who I am. They will come and go, but what's underneath is what counts.

Some days I just feel so sad, so low and nothing seems to matter. But even then I can still find a little nugget of my true self. Watching Father Ted for the 500th time, seeing a silly cat video on Reddit. A little light of joy in the dark.

You will make it. You will have a better life than you do today. You won't feel like this forever. In the meantime, try to add some socialising in your life. I wasn't working for years and eventually got a part time job. Did that for a few years, now I'm at college and working. I still have a hard time building relationships but I have many people in my life now. I still have terrible days, but I can survive them. You can too. Plan what you want, go slowly, don't give up on yourself.

A lot of easy things to say, but hard to do. A lot of challenges you will go through alone. But in what you're feeling right now? Not alone. Their are probably millions of us across the world feeling exactly the same. I understand you, I get you. And I wish you the very, very best in making it through this tough time and in coming out the other end. In working towards having a "good" life, whatever that may mean to you.

You are welcome to message me privately if you want. You are welcome to ignore this whole post, I don't claim to have any special knowledge or expertise. I just truly hope you will be well again as soon as can be.