r/Glasgow Tools

Title
Author	twoxraydelta
Comment	First to rock up, the beautiful women and handsome chaps of the sub, fresh from their subreddit recommended salons. Full of confidence they get the party started. It starts off swimmingly, as the food and wine gets flowing. Next to arrive are our lonely posters. They’ve been on relentlessly posting about meet-ups in the westend and where they can find new friends in Glasgow. They are keen, so they are early, they just didn’t want to be first. Next along are our sheltered posters. They don’t know much about the real world but they gon’ learn today! Aw fuck, here come the young team, (and the auld team,) decked head to toe in red lacoste trackies. Everybody gets a bit nervous, especially the sheltered kids, but when bucky and mad dog start flowing, tensions are eased. MC Chico entertains with a surprisingly skilful lyrical flow over 130 bpm bam beats. The LGBT team arrive next. Arguably the life and soul of the party, they add spice and flavour to this otherwise very beige and pastry orientated picnic. Always up for a laugh and rarely judgemental, they form an unexpected bond with the neds as this picnic becomes a tonic wine fuelled fiesta. The football fans show up. They are shunned by the rest of the group, but as everybody is wearing a somewhat neutral red, its fairly mild mannered. Sometimes blue and green join forces to slag people who don’t know the offside rule anyway. Moving away from football, and into political factions, The Greens step off the number 3 bus team handed. This being at the same time as a convoy of Vauxhall Corsas pull up - its all the people who asked about driving instructors. There is hunners of them, and they have been doing laps of the toon. They are accosted by the greens. A fight breaks out. Rangers and Celtic fans have worked each other out. Its hun this. Fenian that. Not wanting to be outdone by “a bunch of hippies” they start getting tore into each other. A sheltered kid asks everybody to just be friends. He’s told in unison “shut up ya mad Partick Thistle fan.” Just as you think it can’t get any worse, an orange walk enters the park. Carnage of nuclear proportions. Even the sheltereds are kicking off now. There are zero posts on this sub between the Friday of the picnic and Monday afternoon because everybody done a weekender. We all have criminal records. Thanks OP! The End.
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/ub04yt/would_it_be_fun_to_have_a_glasgow_subreddit/i6158jl/
Created	Sun 24th Apr 2022 7:34pm
Status	normal ()

First to rock up, the beautiful women and handsome chaps of the sub, fresh from their subreddit recommended salons. Full of confidence they get the party started. It starts off swimmingly, as the food and wine gets flowing.

Next to arrive are our lonely posters. They’ve been on relentlessly posting about meet-ups in the westend and where they can find new friends in Glasgow. They are keen, so they are early, they just didn’t want to be first.

Next along are our sheltered posters. They don’t know much about the real world but they gon’ learn today!

Aw fuck, here come the young team, (and the auld team,) decked head to toe in red lacoste trackies. Everybody gets a bit nervous, especially the sheltered kids, but when bucky and mad dog start flowing, tensions are eased. MC Chico entertains with a surprisingly skilful lyrical flow over 130 bpm bam beats.

The LGBT team arrive next. Arguably the life and soul of the party, they add spice and flavour to this otherwise very beige and pastry orientated picnic. Always up for a laugh and rarely judgemental, they form an unexpected bond with the neds as this picnic becomes a tonic wine fuelled fiesta.

The football fans show up. They are shunned by the rest of the group, but as everybody is wearing a somewhat neutral red, its fairly mild mannered. Sometimes blue and green join forces to slag people who don’t know the offside rule anyway.

Moving away from football, and into political factions, The Greens step off the number 3 bus team handed. This being at the same time as a convoy of Vauxhall Corsas pull up - its all the people who asked about driving instructors. There is hunners of them, and they have been doing laps of the toon. They are accosted by the greens. A fight breaks out.

Rangers and Celtic fans have worked each other out. Its hun this. Fenian that. Not wanting to be outdone by “a bunch of hippies” they start getting tore into each other. A sheltered kid asks everybody to just be friends. He’s told in unison “shut up ya mad Partick Thistle fan.”

Just as you think it can’t get any worse, an orange walk enters the park. Carnage of nuclear proportions. Even the sheltereds are kicking off now.

There are zero posts on this sub between the Friday of the picnic and Monday afternoon because everybody done a weekender. We all have criminal records. Thanks OP!

The End.