I've never keyed a car, but once asked my fairly unsavoury pal to slash my ex best friend's tyres after she and some other close pals deletes me from their lives/social media when I was super mentally unwell and pretended I didn't exist.
Offered him £200 to do it. I eventually pulled out because....actually, I don't know why I did. She's a cunt and I still want to pull her hair out.