r/Glasgow Tools

Hi everybody!

First of all. Let me start by saying sorry if I have offended some folk in the post, it was of course never my intention and let me tell you my only intention is to help my brother and help me understand my brother and his needs. I was really conscious when I wrote this but obviously have not been updated as I should be, so sorry again.

Some background: my mother was terminally ill for five years and she passed away a few months ago. For all this time, my brother lived at home and was very much part of all this experience. Little can I explain how traumatising this has all been, and my mum really accepted us children even if we walked around with a carrot on our head, whereas dad always had expectations. Now, I’m sitting in the middle, My dad being a completely toxic influence, honestly just shouting at him all day at doing nothing, and my heart literally aches, all of this with having to deal with my own grief. So I cannot imagine what he feels like right now and I want to know, because he’s just a lovely lovely boy and a super duper bro!

So - it’s a necessity here. I want to help him understand his own self - and someone asked here “why should he not seek out for it”? Well, I calmly addressed it once and he said “it’s nothing to do with me” and quite frankly, he’s correct and I shouldn’t be the one saying this and that. But I can’t help thinking that maybe, maybe a professional can bring him the help he needs to get back onto his own two feet. He’s often gone to therapists for depression, but what If that’s not the root cause?

I’m also worried to write the symptoms here in case I offend someone with my NT descriptions, but If someone would be happy to hear me out id be happy to pm.

I can’t talk about childhood years too much because I’m younger and probably won’t say the right stuff.

The thing is for us, as a family, that my dad has been a carer for a while and right now, my brothers routine under the same house is causing too much friction. Unfortunately, it usually involves waking up in the afternoon, not helping out in anything in the household and spending all day on phone.

Moreover, I’m worried that he might be in a worse mental state than i think; but also that it’s not up to me to provide this realisation because a) that’s stupid of me - b) I might be wrong.

I have no idea if all of this is just habits and honestly it was my moms sister that pointed me in this direction. My first call with autism Scotland is today, and I hope at least I’ll be able to explain. I can’t go to the GP myself, if he’s not willing to give it a go.

I just want him to find some inner peace. Lots of love to all :)