r/Glasgow Tools

Title
Author	Working_on_Writing
Comment	I used to have similar feelings of anxiety in public spaces. I found it really helped to analyse my own behaviour. How often do I look at other people? What am I thinking when I look at them? Do I remember even a minute later? I realised: 1. We all look at other people all the time. 2. Mostly, I'm not thinking very much when I look at somebody else. It's just a mindless glance to see if I know them! If a thought goes through my head it might be "they are kinda ugly" or it might be "they look like a nice person", "I love their jacket", or "they have interesting hair" or even "wow they're hot!" 3. The thought is gone an instant later. A couple of minutes later, I can't remember them or what I thought about them at all (unless it was something really outrageous!). Turning that round, that's probably what other people are doing to you. They give you a quick glance, just a "Do I know them?" check, then maybe a thought goes through their head, and is gone. Another little trick: if you have that thought of "they look at me like they think I'm going to steal their purse", remind yourself that you can't read their mind, you don't know what they're thinking, this is a story you're telling yourself, and you can replace that negative story with a positive one. Throw out the purse-snatcher story, replace it with a nice one like "They're checking me out. I must be looking good today!" If that's a bridge too far, even just "They think I look anxious, maybe they are wondering if I'm OK" is a kinder story to tell yourself.
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/176y6z0/i_get_stared_at_alot_and_i_dont_know_what_im/k4pye3w/
Created	Fri 13th Oct 2023 4:50pm
Status	normal ()

I used to have similar feelings of anxiety in public spaces.

I found it really helped to analyse my own behaviour. How often do I look at other people? What am I thinking when I look at them? Do I remember even a minute later?

I realised:

1. We all look at other people all the time.

2. Mostly, I'm not thinking very much when I look at somebody else. It's just a mindless glance to see if I know them! If a thought goes through my head it might be "they are kinda ugly" or it might be "they look like a nice person", "I love their jacket", or "they have interesting hair" or even "wow they're hot!"

3. The thought is gone an instant later. A couple of minutes later, I can't remember them or what I thought about them at all (unless it was something really outrageous!).

Turning that round, that's probably what other people are doing to you. They give you a quick glance, just a "Do I know them?" check, then maybe a thought goes through their head, and is gone.

Another little trick: if you have that thought of "they look at me like they think I'm going to steal their purse", remind yourself that you can't read their mind, you don't know what they're thinking, this is a story you're telling yourself, and you can replace that negative story with a positive one. Throw out the purse-snatcher story, replace it with a nice one like "They're checking me out. I must be looking good today!" If that's a bridge too far, even just "They think I look anxious, maybe they are wondering if I'm OK" is a kinder story to tell yourself.