r/Glasgow Tools

Title
Author	Inevitable_Thing_270
Comment	Abuse doesn’t need to include physically hitting you. What you’re experiencing absolutely is abuse. And it’s not just from drinking. She’s making the decisions to uninvite you to things, to not introduce to you friends and family for ages and similar things. You are being gaslighted repeatedly. Serious emotional and psychological abuse. Please look after yourself and leave. Do not go back. It will be hard since you love her, but this is destroying you. If she indicates she wants you back, she’ll love bomb you and promise to make changes, then it will all start again. Please walk away and stay away. If she starts to floods you with messages after leaving, don’t reply to every one. Just message her politely that you the two of you have parted ways, and you wish her the best but you want her to stop contacting you in this way. Just pre-emoting any manipulation on her part about wanting your help for alcohol or similar, again let her know that you regret you cannot be personally there for her, but you are struggling yourself at the moment, advise her to see her GP and Alcoholics Anonymous. Make these messages simple, and to the point. I’d recommend any contact like the above includes a text so you can keep a record of it, if she tries to pull something, so it shows you were clear about things. If she is bombing you with messages after breaking up, it could be you only contact her by text as getting into verbal conversations with her will be far easier to manipulate you and further gaslight you Keep a record of all the contact she makes and anything she does incase she goes stalker mode. It means you already have evidence for a restraining order if needed. Please get out. Get help. You are not imagining this. You are the first priority. I’ve had a look and this looks like a list of support for men who experience domestic abuse in Glasgow : https://abusedmeninscotland.org/local/glasgow/ Go see your GP as well and link in with mental health support. You are not imagining this. Please leave and don’t go back
Reddit Link	https://www.reddit.com/r/glasgow/comments/17fvsi0/help_for_guys_whove_experienced_domestic_abuse_in/k6dmgvl/
Created	Wed 25th Oct 2023 12:07pm
Status	normal ()

Abuse doesn’t need to include physically hitting you.

What you’re experiencing absolutely is abuse. And it’s not just from drinking. She’s making the decisions to uninvite you to things, to not introduce to you friends and family for ages and similar things. You are being gaslighted repeatedly. Serious emotional and psychological abuse.

Please look after yourself and leave. Do not go back. It will be hard since you love her, but this is destroying you. If she indicates she wants you back, she’ll love bomb you and promise to make changes, then it will all start again. Please walk away and stay away.

If she starts to floods you with messages after leaving, don’t reply to every one. Just message her politely that you the two of you have parted ways, and you wish her the best but you want her to stop contacting you in this way. Just pre-emoting any manipulation on her part about wanting your help for alcohol or similar, again let her know that you regret you cannot be personally there for her, but you are struggling yourself at the moment, advise her to see her GP and Alcoholics Anonymous. Make these messages simple, and to the point. I’d recommend any contact like the above includes a text so you can keep a record of it, if she tries to pull something, so it shows you were clear about things. If she is bombing you with messages after breaking up, it could be you only contact her by text as getting into verbal conversations with her will be far easier to manipulate you and further gaslight you

Keep a record of all the contact she makes and anything she does incase she goes stalker mode. It means you already have evidence for a restraining order if needed.

Please get out. Get help. You are not imagining this. You are the first priority. I’ve had a look and this looks like a list of support for men who experience domestic abuse in Glasgow :
https://abusedmeninscotland.org/local/glasgow/

Go see your GP as well and link in with mental health support.

You are not imagining this. Please leave and don’t go back