r/Glasgow Tools

ManufacturerSlight20

Reddit URLhttps://www.reddit.com/user/ManufacturerSlight20
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r/Glasgow posts100
r/glasgow comments1800

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  • I don't think I made it clear enough in the original post. I realise that if I want to be happy here I have to learn to adapt to the culture, rather than make Glasgow like Copenhagen. Clearly there are people who can fit in and have social lives, there is something I am doing very wrong. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 6:35pm)
  • Uff, that did sting reading that. You are probably right, that could be what turns people off. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:02pm)
  • Thanks, gut feeling is important, because you can usually tell the true meaning. As cringey as getting put in your place by random people on the internet, I am miserable being alone and I want to show people that I am worth having as a friend. I certainly wouldn't feel happy being friends or even hanging out with the "/iamverysmart" or "/iamjustbetterthanyou" vibe. Not the best message to hear but at least I am a step closer to being more socially accepted. Thanks. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:16pm)
  • An interesting point. Made me think of the saying that you sometimes don't dislike the person, you dislike what you see in them that reminds them of who you are. I think I dislike the "Elon Musk" type because I was doing exactly that; insisting that I know better with no evidence for it or commitment. I just said "Ha! You ruined the company, but had you done it MY way, because I now how it all works, everything would be fine". Hard to hear and reflect on right now, but I will be thankful later by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:24pm)
  • I think you are right about that. I don't think I could go anywhere in the world, with the person I am, and suddenly rid what problems I have and what I lack as a good employee/friend. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:20pm)
  • This is sobering... by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:28pm)
  • Thank you, this is very practical. Work is certainly something I have to work on separating. Could be the fact that I feel I am not a good employee that is making me stay longer, work harder or do extra, but rather than change the job, I could do as you say and make sure I leave at 1730 by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:39pm)
  • Yes, I think that is true. They can sense that I don't really have anything to offer and underneath is a lot of insecurity and doubt. Even in a friend that is not a plus, in a partner it is pretty scary. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:37pm)
  • Thanks for your insight. I think the hardest thing for me in lockdown has been reviewing months of social interactions over and over. Probably to the point where I invent stuff in my head. I can understand what it must be like moving all over the world. I don't feel Glaswegian, even although I have spent maybe 15 years here. Had I been born here and lived here continuously maybe I would understand the culture better. I feel guilty because my parents came back to Glasgow and they just carried on with old friends and extended family like no time had passed. For me I feel like I am years behind where I should be and I must be very strange/dislikeable/alienating to barely manage to keep any relationship going in my 30s. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:35pm)
  • Hmmm yes. Openness can be a virtue, but I have been thinking in the last couple of hours of writing this "Am I open because I think I am not worthy or dull without it?". Time for some more self reflection I think, perhaps work on being at ease and happy and then the overshare wont feel necessary. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:42pm)
  • It is callous. It is hard to be anything other than shallow on tinder. I have had some pretty sharp messages from women about how boring I am or how I didn't look as good as my photos, but then I have seen how men behave on the app to very, down-to-earth and open women, it can be brutal. I will give Bumble a go after lockdown has eased a bit more. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:47pm)
  • Yes, I think that could be a good first step. I could use it to become someone more interested in other people, less anxious about all my shortcomings and hopefully establish some relationships with people outside of the expat community. I knew people who had lived with their partner in Sweden for 15 years and knew nobody but Americans. I don't want to be like that, I want to integrate. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:45pm)
  • Thanks, looks like people are recommending moving away from the "swipe" type platforms and using something where you have to bit of time and effort into things, by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:51pm)
  • It does. And I think that a lot to do with the place you work can be a reflection of you as a person. I am not saying that some of the deceit, lying and toxicity by some workplaces is the fault of the individual, but I do think that you can take control of the situation and say "If this is how you treat people, have at it. But I am leaving" or "I am going to make the best of this" by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 7:50pm)
  • Thank you for the advice and comments. Some of them sting a little to hear, but that is what I asked for. I think what I need to focus on is being less insecure and less reliant on other people for my happiness. People will follow after. It has been a tough 12 months, but as people have reminded me, there are clubs, volunteer work, less toxic apps than tinder. Also, I think I have to fully accept that this is my situation and if I want a social life here, I have to fully put my hand in and say, "I'm here to add something", NOT, as people have pointed out "uh my life was better elsewhere, uh work, friends and love should all change to fit me". Yeah... I can see now why people don't wanna employ. hang with or date me... OUCH by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 8:03pm)
  • Thanks for the kind words. It has been strange coming here, mostly because of my age. Had I been 10 years younger the city would have been amazing. I had friends who came here from elsewhere in Europe when I was a student, and we, they loved it. But I am older now and looking for the chapter in my life where I can say "yeah, this is my hometown and here is where I will make a positive future". Glaswegians are very supportive and kind. I would like to have a regular group of friends like that, thanks to the commenters here I think I am on the step to attaining that. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 10:42pm)
  • This is where I met my ex! She was a wonderful person, but she was better living in Germany. We loved retro games and board games. We used to go to a place at charing X on Sunday and meet up with other people. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Wed 19th May 2021 10:54pm)
  • This is a perfect summary of what I have been feeling after reading comments from other Glaswegians. by ManufacturerSlight20 (Thu 20th May 2021 2:40am)