r/Glasgow Tools

axis_of_elvis

Last 12 months	Total	Deleted	Removed
Reddit URL	https://www.reddit.com/user/axis_of_elvis
r/Glasgow posts	25	1	7
r/glasgow comments	1017	4	0

Interests:

i think i can help if you drop the b, im a professional female ass player to trade, been the family game for many generations now, theres not an female ass in this land that me or my gramps cant get working again. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Jan 2019 4:01pm)

http://www.gcat.org.uk/urbex/?p=185 by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Jan 2019 11:42am)

someone should do a run of have you seen this wee fud posters. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 11th Jan 2019 11:54am)

dangleberries in a public place. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 12th Jan 2019 7:45am)

does the white trooper have some sort of machete thing? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 15th Jan 2019 7:08pm)

these are not the droids. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Jan 2019 2:32pm)

one like this ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrzxO_MUVW0 naw had a wee shindig in years, gies a shout if you find one. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 22nd Jan 2019 4:05pm)

could it also be stuffed with cheese? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Jan 2019 5:15am)

no, its still hillhead, thats where the hill keeps its boaby. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Jan 2019 12:50pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX9wHZSRTl0 by axis_of_elvis (Mon 28th Jan 2019 4:26pm)

something something yer maw....... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jan 2019 6:16pm)

the iss was in your flat? skinner? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Feb 2019 5:54pm)

rockets by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Feb 2019 5:53pm)

glasgow airport. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 5th Feb 2019 10:41am)

kids weed room. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 8th Feb 2019 2:51am)

i just had an idea, why are there not cameras in areas where people regardless of age are sedated? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Feb 2019 1:21pm)

i got it from the a bus driver who should have stayed at home, i think hes done the whole town. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Feb 2019 2:24pm)

bothends at once, fever, no appetite, its m&s flu. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Feb 2019 2:21pm)

thats the ones i was after, apparently they are shite though, the thought counts i suppose. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Feb 2019 6:38pm)

influenza is spread mostly by aerosol. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Feb 2019 7:10pm)

sorry m8, i hope that wasnt uncomfortable for you. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Feb 2019 4:31am)

trashcans by axis_of_elvis (Sat 16th Feb 2019 3:42pm)

youll need him to play with the chickens then. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 17th Feb 2019 7:23am)

hes dabbin by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Feb 2019 3:52pm)

gold lol by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Feb 2019 3:56pm)

all over your coupon, thats awful. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Feb 2019 4:14pm)

the thumbnail looks like super helicopter dog. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Feb 2019 9:09am)

oor dugs have missile pods...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Feb 2019 10:46am)

pizza hut pan pizza? they used to be good. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 22nd Feb 2019 9:08am)

you could say can you put a pizza on top of my pizza and cut the base off the top one. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 22nd Feb 2019 5:49pm)

once spring arrives the adult ned ,having hibernated over the winter, goes on a wild shagging and drinking spree, this leaves them vulnerable when spring appears to come early, and they die off in the subsequent frost. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 27th Feb 2019 6:33am)

keep visualising that shaft. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 1st Mar 2019 4:54pm)

you really want a guy in a shop to name his price? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Mar 2019 11:49am)

it has begun, the duke is walking unaided without his horse. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Mar 2019 11:12am)

^doff by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Mar 2019 3:32pm)

when i travel by road to edinburgh im gobsmacked at the amount of rubbish on the side of the road, does nobody have any responsibility anymore? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 12th Mar 2019 6:15pm)

yellow snow by axis_of_elvis (Fri 15th Mar 2019 6:33am)

the IRA dont really exist anymore. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 16th Mar 2019 5:33pm)

nice try police scotland...... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 17th Mar 2019 7:03am)

kill two birds with one stone, get the meal deal on the way and use the cistern as a table while you poo. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Mar 2019 4:55am)

i had a german army surplus smock thing, the one with the detachable fleece, its was ace and had loads of pockets, apparently that made me and my pals goths, we wernt really goth at all, we just never really partook of sports. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Mar 2019 3:37pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ESWRtaHNU8 by axis_of_elvis (Wed 27th Mar 2019 4:27pm)

is this really a thing? dont the polis shut it down? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 30th Mar 2019 4:16pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQoarCfAi40 like this? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 31st Mar 2019 5:41am)

several chairs on top of the table? in the name of health and safety. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 31st Mar 2019 5:26pm)

thats the spirit. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 1st Apr 2019 3:25pm)

have you tried messaging her? maybe google images oatcakes and see. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 7th Apr 2019 5:33am)

did the black box not pick up what was happening? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Apr 2019 5:23pm)

is there a pattern? you can get cameras that look like all kinds of things, google hidden cameras. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Apr 2019 5:22pm)

someone should open wurst kebab, where the kebab meat is german wurst, served with saurkraut. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 14th Apr 2019 4:48am)

is the malting process quite smelly? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Apr 2019 4:27pm)

bew channon street? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Apr 2019 4:26pm)

i think malting is the germination of the seed? do they do that bit on site? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Apr 2019 4:42pm)

gee? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Apr 2019 7:32pm)

so much goodness, i need this right now. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Apr 2019 7:31pm)

you should find some jam sessions. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Apr 2019 4:28am)

does this work kinda like an r2 unit? can it speak baachi? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Apr 2019 4:26am)

are you one of these guys who "wants to form a band" but you dont actually play? here is a good way to form a band, learn to play........ by axis_of_elvis (Wed 17th Apr 2019 3:16am)

ok so there was a girl got on the bus at the stop i use, her dog was a giant slobberchops and made me feel human, she said it was service dog, was it, i think it was she had it all dressed up as one, but not usa., also i think in an impact the dog would retract into the carrier, possibly only being stopped by the helmet. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 17th Apr 2019 3:21am)

there are gangs of moustached bible bashers going about? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Apr 2019 6:54am)

the centre itself is a bit spooky when its deserted. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 23rd Apr 2019 3:01am)

what is the makeup of the dust? does it feed the plants? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 24th Apr 2019 8:04am)

i thought no one could dad joke that hard, no one will do it i said to myself, then you came along you maverick you. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 24th Apr 2019 8:17am)

i thought this may be the case, what a cool ecosystem. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 24th Apr 2019 4:21pm)

nice ring. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 27th Apr 2019 8:28am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmsbP13xu6k this guy looks friendly, he is called eric. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 30th Apr 2019 9:42am)

could try to buy a fresh plant at a garden centre or grow some, its very easy to grow. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd May 2019 2:57am)

they are very easy to grow and grow back after cutting, good on a window. and more garlic chives than you can ever eat. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd May 2019 2:32pm)

my bathroom has more culture. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd May 2019 11:29am)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/deep-fried-everything by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd May 2019 11:32am)

that would be an awesome way to drum up unsupport for any given party. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd May 2019 5:39pm)

this is how they procreate. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd May 2019 5:37pm)

underground canal? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 4th May 2019 6:08am)

you like your barrow to be a bit dirty and know some tricks the new barrows dont? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th May 2019 6:38am)

can you not make one? people these days...... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 10th May 2019 4:19pm)

does it lube up nicely? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 10th May 2019 4:22pm)

heres a really wacky idea, have a proper hiring procedure that make sure a person is fit ti do such a job and not get rapey. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th May 2019 7:21am)

thats your mothers butt trumpet. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th May 2019 2:26pm)

the forest does not merely give wood for free, you must ask first of wise old mr oak. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th May 2019 8:00am)

time traveller alert. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th May 2019 3:58pm)

do they do any "extras" by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th May 2019 3:57pm)

i had similar in england from a magic roadside grill, it was a chapati with a full breakfast in. i still think it was a weird dream, it wasnt. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 18th May 2019 7:06am)

opens at 8:30 on sun. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th May 2019 4:44am)

be careful you dont try any hard hills unprepared, it can still get very cold up there. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th May 2019 2:57pm)

only if you deep fry them efter. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 26th May 2019 3:33pm)

issue rubbish bags at the gate? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 26th May 2019 6:21pm)

if they hadn't banned air guns the weans would have sorted it by now. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 27th May 2019 12:04pm)

keep that bigoted nonesene up yer arse where it belongs, wie yer brains. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 27th May 2019 2:44pm)

whats so good about tayto? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 27th May 2019 4:40pm)

babylon do nice halal meat. shop itself is great for funky cooking. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th May 2019 4:16pm)

funky being not your mums mince and tatties, i actually learn about food and spices in these shops. the soft drinks are especially cool. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th May 2019 3:09am)

bird on the speaker goin, "you have now arrived at goooooo rock". by axis_of_elvis (Mon 3rd Jun 2019 8:07am)

to you by axis_of_elvis (Fri 7th Jun 2019 7:34am)

i do a no bike rrrrmmmmm rrrrrrrrmmmmmm in front of lassies and they laugh at me. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 7th Jun 2019 7:34am)

from whom. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 7th Jun 2019 10:45am)

"mon en" by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Jun 2019 4:53am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feNZF9BUfjc ok, you need to drill a hole in the wall to get a mic to pick up his audio feed, then using a similar sized rig, blast his tunes back at him inverted. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Jun 2019 4:58am)

diatomaceous earth works. also sticky traps can be used to monitor the population. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Jun 2019 6:33am)

is yoker really a place? dea yous have a mad barber whose name rhymes wie yoker? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Jun 2019 7:19am)

saw this entering the tunnel at greenock central, i was cussing as it was cool as fuck and the darkness of the tunnel meant i coulndt see it. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Jun 2019 7:22am)

the greenock esplanade is good for mackerel, most of the coast has spots all the way down from port glasgow, the red rocks at wemyss bay is a very nice spot to fish. http://www.nesa.co.uk/forums/shore-catch-reports/122805-wemyss-bay.html by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Jun 2019 8:23am)

fishing on a boat in the clyde used to be great fun when i was little, flask of soup various sarnies eaten off fishy wormy hands, diesel fumes, vomit. blergh, even thinking on that diesel smell makes me sick. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Jun 2019 10:49am)

i seen kids that look up to no good, they are tiny but riding adult bikes, im thinking the bikes are nicked but im pessamist sometimes. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Jun 2019 5:38am)

some of the hairdressers do this as a side, you have to sit down, just say "the special please", then place £50 pounds on the counter, they tie you to the chair, wheel you out the back, then if you remember your worst haircut as a kid, when the bitch cuts you right behind the ear with the clippers, they do that to you for a whole fucking hour all over your goolies, thats pretty good for £50. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Jun 2019 5:36am)

it would make a nice cafe /museum. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 18th Jun 2019 5:30am)

thought there was no smoking in stations? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 18th Jun 2019 11:06am)

one thumb up or three? its the tory party park meetup. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 18th Jun 2019 3:09pm)

no idea, this looks cool though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiXB55hXR6c by axis_of_elvis (Wed 19th Jun 2019 6:46am)

just dont tell him about glasgows fevella, we keep that hidden. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 22nd Jun 2019 2:36pm)

is there anywhere does a fry up stuffed into a naan/flatbread thing, had it on the m40 somewhere in my miss spent youth driving vans, it was like something from beyond, my van mate even gave me a wink when he told me about it, swear it was a full fry up but it may have been more like an all day breakfast, so many carbs. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd Jun 2019 6:18am)

i know, it could have all been a weird dream, if nowhere actually makes this, they should actually make this. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd Jun 2019 5:03pm)

i have a pink set of roller skates you can hae for free. size 8, the pink makes ye rapid as ye hae tae dodge aw the homophobic abuse. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 24th Jun 2019 8:41am)

sounds like you need to call a teacher with experience of 12- by axis_of_elvis (Wed 26th Jun 2019 6:50am)

is your bad neighbour someone who likes working on cars with a disdain for regal things? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 26th Jun 2019 6:56am)

what about being autistic but looking kinda normal and using a bus pass, would that cause huffing and puffing from drivers with something to prove? some drivers i use my pass, give me my ticket everything fine, other drivers i get something is up but i have no idea what. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 26th Jun 2019 8:44am)

what are the mushrooms that grow here, see tonnes of them in the autum. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 28th Jun 2019 6:31pm)

stow was a really nice building to study in. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 30th Jun 2019 5:35pm)

real cctv and a scoosher. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 2nd Jul 2019 3:13am)

the beggers are actually slaves? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 2nd Jul 2019 5:16am)

oh shit, i need to make a drawing, basically fake toilet, signs says, please be a gentleman and pish in the lavvy pan naw the close floor, there is a hose from the lavvy pan going up to the roof to a showerhead, some kind of pump in there as well. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 2nd Jul 2019 9:14am)

id wear a condom mate by axis_of_elvis (Thu 4th Jul 2019 7:09pm)

there should be an anti preacher posted equidistant to the preachers to cancel them out. "its a shite day, its raining, yer either on a comedown or a hangover, yer ain maw disnae love you, jesus doesnae an neither does his da". by axis_of_elvis (Fri 5th Jul 2019 9:55pm)

ledgen has it everything is awful apart from the sarbeni which for some reason is supposed to be good, not going back there ever though. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Jul 2019 1:39pm)

i just feel sad inside, i heard some americans say oh coooooool a marching band, i hope they find out sometime, didnae have the heart to explain it. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Jul 2019 2:02am)

not as disruptive? its kinda mad a nice happy rave is not allowed in a field but this kind of hate is allowed. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Jul 2019 2:09am)

thats nae a pigeon hamish. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Jul 2019 3:13pm)

pervert......... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 12th Jul 2019 7:17am)

isnt this sort of thing a vanity project?i grow plants, im a bit vain about it, im good at it, thats my job now, learn the plants. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Jul 2019 5:35am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJC4R1uXDaE by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Jul 2019 5:41am)

they get through some amount of cheese! by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Jul 2019 5:47am)

is that barry mitchell from greenock? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Jul 2019 4:28pm)

lol. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Jul 2019 4:32pm)

start with the hardest first, they are causing the most problems, prohibition has seen a rise in drug use for whatever reason. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 17th Jul 2019 4:40am)

why the protest? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 17th Jul 2019 4:44pm)

slaters is kinda fun for the sales pish, do you have a girlfiend sir? you will with a suit like this one....... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 19th Jul 2019 2:18pm)

expanding foam. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Jul 2019 2:25am)

you sure that was your bird mate? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Jul 2019 2:31am)

he is waiting for the right moment, when no-one is looking, he will enter a phonebox , cease to be pooperman, and emerge as the fabulous clarke bent. or something...... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 21st Jul 2019 5:10am)

https://www.metalsupermarkets.co.uk/govan/ they do sheets of metal. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Jul 2019 3:56pm)

i bet junkies would kick their ass in a purge scenario. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 28th Jul 2019 8:02am)

mushrooms come from space, you should ask them. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 1st Aug 2019 5:46pm)

is waterstones a pub now? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 2nd Aug 2019 3:41pm)

i never knew assault and abuse were options untill they put the signs up. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 3rd Aug 2019 10:21am)

i have pink skates, im only gay on weds. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 3rd Aug 2019 4:14pm)

cant help you, but apparently opuntia fruit tastes like bubblegum. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 3rd Aug 2019 4:10pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Lk7qivXbw by axis_of_elvis (Tue 6th Aug 2019 4:17pm)

theres a new one called the pub, it is mostly used to escape reality. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 10th Aug 2019 9:28am)

you just missed the concept piece, entree to student flats. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 11th Aug 2019 12:22pm)

i dont get it, a dog can go in the street but not me, its ok if i pish my pants though. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 12th Aug 2019 12:15pm)

its a conspiracy to make us love the green man but hate the red man. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 17th Aug 2019 1:28am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Lk7qivXbw nice marras is that a sparra? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 17th Aug 2019 12:52pm)

or aliens who want to inseminate us with their goop, hey hello a green man, i love you for some reason...... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 17th Aug 2019 4:37pm)

a girl from glasgow by axis_of_elvis (Sun 18th Aug 2019 9:11am)

fanny is where you put the cock if you are uk and str8, its different in america though. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 20th Aug 2019 2:22am)

on a footpath a bike takes one lane if mounted, takes two lanes if unmounted and pushed. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 20th Aug 2019 2:35am)

lol at the nazi cunt. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 20th Aug 2019 3:08pm)

cunts posting on reddit while shitting. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 21st Aug 2019 5:15am)

a nice xmas present for her.....empty it into another container..... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Aug 2019 6:28pm)

repair cafe at kinning park? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Aug 2019 6:24am)

its a trap...... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Aug 2019 8:24am)

did you naw call the polis? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 25th Aug 2019 3:15pm)

melville street is rather quiet and close to the train station. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 26th Aug 2019 3:43am)

have you won the lottery? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Sep 2019 12:46pm)

bouncy castle obviously. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Sep 2019 3:40pm)

careful hen, you'll get yersel explored at that rate....... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Sep 2019 3:17pm)

you can buy flagons of scrumpy in most tescos, its flat and lethal. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Sep 2019 2:19am)

a stunning judo hold, you have strong arms sir. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Sep 2019 2:22am)

https://www.adventure1.co.uk/ class wee shop by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Sep 2019 4:58am)

thats is my mouth sir not my hands, why are you putting a flaccid penis in my mouth, its gross..... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Sep 2019 6:07pm)

lol, my mistake. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Sep 2019 6:06pm)

can we develop a chugger countermeasure kit? like have our own laminated shite flyers advertising hot toilet sex or something funny, got 2 mins mate, sure do pal can i interest you in some dodgy sexy time..... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 6th Sep 2019 6:21am)

where did they get the music tht played at the start of the ripped games? they always had a cool tune. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Sep 2019 2:56am)

how much money did the whole malarky make? sounds pretty pro. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Sep 2019 9:43am)

flyers up in places, advert, at top, loads of your numbers at the bottom to rip off. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Sep 2019 10:34am)

im awesome but i got some really rude tics, are you a punk band by any chance? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Sep 2019 1:58pm)

jesus, you could have gotten hurt if you sill lived there. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Sep 2019 6:04am)

those jumpers man. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 12th Sep 2019 3:12am)

its a start i suppose. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 12th Sep 2019 3:12am)

i saw a girl at the bus stop on waterloo street, i could feel a really deep connection as she stared at me while i vomited perfectly frothy beer all over the kerb, anyway if you are reading this, gonnae gis a gobble? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 12th Sep 2019 8:23am)

get it on wheels, carry it lol. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Sep 2019 4:17am)

jesus, just get a bigger antennea. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Sep 2019 4:20am)

take it apart piece by piece, then leave it layed out like a schematic at their door. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Sep 2019 12:20pm)

may as well be legal , i can smell it everywhere. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Sep 2019 1:50pm)

its will someone skin up warrior exercise time of the year. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 4:23am)

its like shroedingers dinger, wont know if its a boy dingler or a girl until we look. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 10:03am)

is that the peacock? how did you get up there? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 4:19pm)

soooo much rooftop garden potential. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 4:51pm)

can they not guide both maches at each other, then they unexist like antimatter meeting matter by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 6:16pm)

dont eat the cake, its where they hide the aging serum. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 6:46pm)

cheers by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Sep 2019 6:46pm)

i love a lamb kofte, i think its the minced lamb one on a stick. getting proper hot sauce is so hard, i ask the guy is it hot, he nods, its never hot. i want me bab sauce to melt my face a bit. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 21st Sep 2019 2:39pm)

had a lovely young couple having a domestic on the 900 from edinburgh to glasgow, at one point she locked herself in the bog and he was shouting i hope youre not doing gear in there, they then got on the largs bus and i had them all the way to largs as well. was like i was in the limmy show. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 23rd Sep 2019 10:27am)

drivers got the weans tatooed on his arm in case he forgets which ones are his........ by axis_of_elvis (Mon 23rd Sep 2019 4:41pm)

you can hire a fake gf on facetime, then proudly show off said fake gf every chance you get. look at ma wee bit of stuff, its like the old creepy dude in the pub who has a pic of him with a lassie, hes like look at ma wee bit of stuff , lassie in the pic is clearly grimacing. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Sep 2019 3:18am)

"try giving him a reach around untill he switches it off". by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Sep 2019 3:15am)

yes, it happened when i was renting, you sign up for three months then after its rolling one month, may have changed though. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Sep 2019 9:32pm)

ye waant a drink wae raaaat fur 50p extra? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Sep 2019 3:05pm)

lol, little kitty farts by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Sep 2019 12:15pm)

out of curiosity, how close would one have to be to only bork the annoying device? https://hackaday.com/2016/10/12/become-very-unpopular-very-fast-with-this-diy-emp-generator/ by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Sep 2019 1:12pm)

https://www.evanscycles.com/ortlieb-velocity-backpack-00120638 by axis_of_elvis (Fri 27th Sep 2019 10:33am)

cool. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 27th Sep 2019 5:59pm)

https://www.spareroom.co.uk/flatmate/glasgow by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Sep 2019 10:16am)

yeh, i made a joke with the wardens about this being the worst travel lodge ive ever stayed at. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Sep 2019 4:34pm)

mcdonalds then up an alley for a fingerbang? the romantic option. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Sep 2019 6:32pm)

mon en, you up for it? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Sep 2019 8:04pm)

best way is to buy a kit online. they do work wonders for depression, i wish i had some right now. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Sep 2019 12:52pm)

using a kit is something you should do for safety, if you are inexperienced in fungus id, a kit comes in the post either ready to innoculate, or pre innoculated, i have a feeling pre innoculated is slightly illegal however. i prolly shouldnt advise, but, be safe man and happy journey within. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Sep 2019 1:36pm)

there is the chance pre innoculated will be stopped at customs, but i think they have bigger things to get on with. also, growing oyster mushrooms is fun and a good cover story. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Sep 2019 5:35pm)

who would leave such an animal on its own? its a bit negligent. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Sep 2019 4:12am)

ummm mister? does your username mean double dipped? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Sep 2019 4:16am)

"aye officer, i had a turtles heid going on an i coulnday move outae bed, then i woke up in the morning and it was gone" by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Sep 2019 7:40pm)

banking lol by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Oct 2019 5:11am)

https://www.etoncollege.com/ this one is somewhere south of lanrkshire if that helps, all boys. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Oct 2019 10:03am)

is it free cos they keep the pics and sell them on? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Oct 2019 10:52am)

fair play, how can you be sure though? id tineye some of the pics just to be safe. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Oct 2019 4:36pm)

makes sense of my pals comment on where the best place to be if nukes go off, as close as possible so you dont know anything about it. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 6:45am)

could have some fun with this, id shout "im not really a vegan" by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 8:47am)

doesnt really bear think about does it. it swont affect us and if it does we wont know. i for one welcome the change of state to gas. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 9:25am)

wouldnt make much differenct to greenock at the moment, that place has gone to the dogs. the port is actually looking good for once. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 11:16am)

genius by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 1:19pm)

darn it, shouldnt they put barriers up? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 1:45pm)

it does also catch the close by my door. which a ring doorbell would do better, but i cant afford one. positioned the way it is it catches the people that steal things. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 4:29pm)

had a dummy camera as she was puttin larder beetle larvae through my letterbox, it stopped after i put the dummy up, used to catch her at it at my door. at one point she said she would paint my upvc door, after that i put up real cctv. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 5:43pm)

she said she was at her mothers for two years, no disrespect to the mentally fucked......i am one, i fully think she was locked up in a secure unit for two years. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 5:56pm)

thank you for being a voice of reason, askuk has been less than forgiving. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 6:45pm)

im a nice neighbour, she doesnt understand nice neighbour, bullies me, before i move out i want to advertise this place to the local smackheads, then she will understand what a shit neighbour really is, all the other neighbours hate her. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Oct 2019 8:11pm)

the folks who do have an issue with it are wronguns,they have threatened me at my front door, they are why i have the cameras, my next door is cool with it. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Oct 2019 10:54am)

build a new uni. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Oct 2019 6:05pm)

its caused by excess nitrogen, from the urine i would imagine. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 5th Oct 2019 7:48pm)

upstairs from me stamp about so loud i think its on purpose. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 6th Oct 2019 2:35pm)

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=m570.l1313&_nkw=Renfrewshire+Mug&_sacat=0 by axis_of_elvis (Mon 7th Oct 2019 1:56pm)

its mair like the sort of place to have a "junk" shop by axis_of_elvis (Mon 7th Oct 2019 1:55pm)

is your friends name renfrew or renfrewshire? https://www.cafepress.co.uk/mf/114838252/renfrew-coat-of-arms--family-c_mugs?productId=398474805 by axis_of_elvis (Mon 7th Oct 2019 2:46pm)

gets some haggis and some white puddings. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 7th Oct 2019 3:30pm)

would be weird if they just papped amazon out. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 8th Oct 2019 2:49pm)

they get free delivery, can you blame them? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 8th Oct 2019 3:35pm)

just take your missus to somewhere really dirty, theyll have spare cameras from every era........ by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Oct 2019 12:24am)

are you sure you dont mean drumtoker? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Oct 2019 5:16pm)

that a bit far fetched by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Oct 2019 8:07pm)

his name was bum poker, but he got a bit embrrased about it, so changed it to biffy clyro. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Oct 2019 7:26pm)

heve they checked the breaker box? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 11th Oct 2019 9:46am)

throwing pizza? i wish some cunt would throw some pizza in my gob right now. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 6:33am)

easy fix, just delete face.exe from your head. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 6:36am)

http://www.thebathroomandshowercentre.co.uk/ its rather open though, everycunt will see your butt. jokes aside i found this There are facilities for personal care such as showers and laundry at these organisations: Lodging House Mission, 35 East Campbell Street, G1 5DT The Marie Trust, 32 Midland Street, G1 4PR Glasgow City Mission, 20 Crimea Street, G2 8PT by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 6:40am)

https://www.gcu.ac.uk/arc/facilities/showers/ by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 6:49am)

ok,i know what you are on about now, you dont wanna get clean do you? https://www.pologlasgow.co.uk/club-x/ i think this may be right up your passage...... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 9:51am)

how much can you make at one of these gigs? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 3:48pm)

its like when bmw went with wireless brakes, bmw cant find brakes.exe, vould you like a vandjob insted. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Oct 2019 7:00pm)

check post history......... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 14th Oct 2019 3:28am)

left side or right side? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 14th Oct 2019 9:21pm)

box of unused dildos and a fleshlight? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 15th Oct 2019 8:32am)

you could write skimmer on the machine by axis_of_elvis (Wed 16th Oct 2019 3:03am)

its around £30 from glasgow to inverness by bus, then around £30 again from inverness to orknet i think. http://www.jogferry.co.uk/Express-Bus.aspx by axis_of_elvis (Wed 16th Oct 2019 3:12am)

get some cctv up my dude. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 17th Oct 2019 9:53pm)

picture the scene, operatin theater *beep *beep *beep nurse, 10cc of the good stuff, stat, going to need scalpel and a spreader, ok got him open, wait, whats that divine smell, there appears to be a shashlik where the liver should be a khofte for a heart and parts of a munchie box scattered around where all the other bits should be. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Oct 2019 8:30am)

or autistic and the buttons are confusing. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 19th Oct 2019 10:55am)

pretend to not speak english. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 19th Oct 2019 6:15pm)

you can brute force the door open even if its closed. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 19th Oct 2019 9:42pm)

somehow it confuses me everytime, train noise, need to wee, read sign, autism, wait are you autistic? i bet you are not that difficult. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 19th Oct 2019 9:41pm)

source:- was on train during some crazy overcrowding thing, trains never got serviced, so the closed the toilets, saw a skinny wee dude go fuck this and wrenched the thing open. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 19th Oct 2019 10:14pm)

roadworks using a backhoe? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 23rd Oct 2019 5:38am)

learn some new language, answer the phone in this language, they wont speak it. chinese is a giiggle. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 23rd Oct 2019 5:42am)

somebody get the word out to the homeless folks without internet, free wine for all........yay by axis_of_elvis (Thu 24th Oct 2019 4:19pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaE1OihMZfU by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Oct 2019 9:13am)

its the metal middle finger, green man get angry when car drive through red. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 26th Oct 2019 3:02pm)

if something isnt right, if its naw rain, tell everyone. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Oct 2019 9:00am)

how could you forget. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 29th Oct 2019 3:52pm)

dermestid maculatus larvae by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Oct 2019 1:22am)

carpet beetle larvae are smaller and called wooly bears, thats wood worm, otherwise called dermestid maculatus by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Oct 2019 9:00am)

i had read previously that it was a hard switch not in the cockpit, could be wrong though. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Oct 2019 2:52pm)

she could at least hand the knickers in for the next one....... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 31st Oct 2019 6:16pm)

how will we know who the cunts are if they dont go marching? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 2nd Nov 2019 6:42pm)

i though someone with a name like paul the tim would like the notion of independence? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Nov 2019 3:42pm)

statistically if you want to put it in terms of football team, the gers are for queen and union, for the celtic fans there is a bit of a hatred for the queen and the rulers..... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Nov 2019 12:25pm)

jesus, i never said marry me...... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Nov 2019 1:02pm)

well there you go, so some celtic fans like the union as well then? thats me telt lol..... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Nov 2019 12:59pm)

im yer fuckin man yolo by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Nov 2019 1:08pm)

whacks on whacks, hey mr myagi,no....... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th Nov 2019 4:04pm)

how many mm? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 5th Nov 2019 5:23am)

a wurst kebab would be really cool, love me a bratwurst. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 8th Nov 2019 3:36pm)

we will need loads of dykes, holland has been doing ok for ages. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 19th Nov 2019 3:56pm)

https://youtu.be/GceNsojnMf0 obligatory limmy by axis_of_elvis (Fri 29th Nov 2019 7:08am)

theres a cool clothing shop near the thirteenth note, kinda in the middle of shwarma king and strung out guitars. its pretty funky, not sure about boots though i bet they could point you in the right direction. goth boots? https://www.osirisclothing.co.uk/ by axis_of_elvis (Sat 30th Nov 2019 5:41pm)

what happens to the parakeets in the winter? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Dec 2019 1:24pm)

i picture a team of men in black acting like acrobats, doing flips and mounting each other in a pile untill they get to the right height. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Dec 2019 2:57pm)

youth hostel? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Dec 2019 3:07pm)

demetia guy sounds like bad superhero.....what your ability man?.....cant remember...... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Dec 2019 8:46am)

wat? are they like caw caw caw, look at mah baws? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Dec 2019 6:49pm)

does yer maw ken ye are walkkin around wie that stauner? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Dec 2019 7:28pm)

someone should start the loch lomond natrural centre...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Dec 2019 7:41pm)

could they not make a wee gary for the kids to ride about on? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 20th Dec 2019 3:24pm)

step 4, clean off poop, "you hold it" by axis_of_elvis (Sat 21st Dec 2019 10:28am)

they nicked a cop car once, blatant. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 21st Dec 2019 2:24pm)

helps get the skin off if you leave them in the oil overnight. perfect with rice. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 23rd Dec 2019 5:30am)

take this giant rubber walloper.......there may be trouble. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 23rd Dec 2019 5:40pm)

there is a bollard someone assfucked, it is now named "the one" by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Dec 2019 7:01am)

volunteer to help at xmas..... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Dec 2019 4:15pm)

this is how the student halls procreate, little fire in a car here little bin fire there, untill the fire can find enough fuel to gestate into a student accomodation block. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Dec 2019 5:58pm)

bawbag by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Dec 2019 4:45am)

maybe contact a forge? i know vanguard do knife making lessons. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Dec 2019 12:29am)

cool, its off now, i bellesd it for the first time in ages. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Jan 2020 1:08am)

https://www.chilternseeds.co.uk/item_918E_onopordum_acanthium by axis_of_elvis (Sun 5th Jan 2020 3:18am)

trongate used to have one big enough........ by axis_of_elvis (Sun 5th Jan 2020 3:21am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMnKPnPhhYw by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Jan 2020 1:42am)

find a community garden, they give you stuff if you volunteer. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Jan 2020 1:16pm)

sounds like a still game skit. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 12:06am)

if you get stuck you can rinse it out of old cat5 cable. i think cat5 is 16awg? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 1:52pm)

clyde muirsheil park? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 1:55pm)

no, it was supposed to be parliamo glasgow, an awrat by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 3:06pm)

junkies along the way fucked that one up, they put the wrong ones out then everyone followed. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 9:03pm)

plus there is the implication by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jan 2020 10:03pm)

they have a wee room for that, its all done out in tiles and has washing facilities. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Jan 2020 6:05pm)

post notices up on uni notice boards? do the notice boards still exist? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Jan 2020 6:23pm)

why not email calmac by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Jan 2020 7:43pm)

i wanna try purple mangosteen by axis_of_elvis (Sat 11th Jan 2020 12:23pm)

glasgow is closed on those dates, sorry. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jan 2020 4:49pm)

anyone play extreme landing 24? the wind is the hardest part, so much throttle vectoring, i nearly bought a yoke for it it is so much fun! by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th Jan 2020 5:52pm)

grab em by the hand and firmly start pumping and dont let go, keep your grip strong and pump like yehv never pumped before, thatyll larn em. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Jan 2020 2:14pm)

a swollen glans is nothing to be ashamed of. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Jan 2020 3:20pm)

tattie scones? from a steak pie? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Jan 2020 3:24pm)

must be an extra large american steak pie. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Jan 2020 7:15pm)

it comes in these boxes? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 18th Jan 2020 7:17pm)

fucking yassss.....bus jobbie, get a ticket on....... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 20th Jan 2020 11:48pm)

drinking in glasgow, hahaha, no not here, we like nice quiet cups of tea. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jan 2020 12:11pm)

He told a reporter from breakfast show GMTV: 'I like what I'm doing. I know it's illegal but I do not care. You can go and f *** yourself and stick your camera up your a *** .' lol by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jan 2020 8:21pm)

be careful, people were dying a while back cos of dodgy lsd. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 27th Jan 2020 6:31am)

keep going at it, they never discovered me untill i was 39, i must be really good at hidie. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 27th Jan 2020 10:07pm)

i had been engaging with MH services since 2008, initially they thought it was schizofreina and dosed me with anti psychotics, interesting drugs but it all felt wrong, i had to show that even though i was experiencing mental overload or meltdown, that i was able to show insight into the psychologies and people that were triggering me. im now learing slowly about psychology, its helping, but it doesnt help that half of the so called normal people are crazy. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 28th Jan 2020 10:00am)

i think he know he being watch and making the spanko spanko motion, ah......sweet spanko spanko in the summertime.......sigh by axis_of_elvis (Tue 28th Jan 2020 5:19pm)

so like you could have the living room set up like an admin office, and one bedroom, the girls in the admin office would be doing admin, then one of them would transform into a sex worker in the bedroom? once the deed is done back to "admin" can you shift roles like that? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 28th Jan 2020 5:16pm)

the semen hydro...... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Jan 2020 11:15pm)

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/Glasgow-West-93311/flats.html fill yer boots. maybe worth speaking to student services as well. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Jan 2020 8:25am)

tiso have a good boot dept. bit pricey though, they do know their beans tho. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Jan 2020 1:51pm)

real name on the interbutts? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jan 2020 7:44am)

i miss the big irn-bru sign. was a good waypoint. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jan 2020 9:43pm)

did the cruisers have state troopers in? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 3rd Feb 2020 7:01am)

dont tip the flies by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Feb 2020 4:29am)

those edbiles can be very strong...... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Feb 2020 9:59am)

a bus cannot give consent...... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 5th Feb 2020 1:55pm)

nah that just big square headed one eyed dave waking up from his slumber. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th Feb 2020 5:30am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBRywUeiB6Y by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th Feb 2020 5:47am)

are you rikki fulton? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 3:24am)

im autistic, i dont know how to tie my own laces sometimes. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 4:18pm)

yessum, thats what high functioning autism looks like, sometimes i can function other times my executive function does not work, if there is something im into becomes my sole focus in life and i forget to do important things like eat, high functioning autism sucks, cos i dont drool enough to be regarded as having a disability, yet people point out that im strange or a weirdo and not like them, u know what mate, im glad im not like them, but cheers for being a creep and going through my comments. bawbag! by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 4:30pm)

my sense of smell and hearing are disturbing sometimes, i can hear like a bat and smell like a wolf, the melange of sensory input going out into the world can be very overwhelming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgDR_gYk_a8 is an example there are other videos. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 4:47pm)

u first pig....... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 5:09pm)

6 days ago you were looking for your hole in a biffa dumpster........ by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 5:42pm)

im not taking apart a bin so you can get your hole fuck off. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 5:50pm)

why? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 6:22pm)

more population.......cats love it. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 6:44pm)

love you , human! by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 6:48pm)

got found out at 40, so much pain, still human, like a jedi. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:04pm)

i cant find the words, i like fugazi. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:14pm)

i wish it was , then i would fix my grades. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:11pm)

going in omlett tomorrow by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:11pm)

safe m8 by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:10pm)

but you left a foul taste in my mouth. autism forms a big part of my identidy, you should be able to read the comment chain as to why i had to ID myself by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:28pm)

Someone just wanted to tell everyone they have an Autism diagnosis, didn't they... you say this after i ID by axis_of_elvis (Sat 8th Feb 2020 7:57pm)

so? what of it? monkey breath puke face, eat of turtle slime. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 9th Feb 2020 5:01am)

ear worms by axis_of_elvis (Mon 10th Feb 2020 6:39am)

away tae fuck ya walloper by axis_of_elvis (Mon 10th Feb 2020 6:45am)

making it yourself can be quite theraputic, i make a nice one by letting a slow cooker do all the legwork.... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Feb 2020 10:31am)

tell them you like the quality of the glaswegian boaby....... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Feb 2020 2:54pm)

golly and gosh by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Feb 2020 8:35am)

it can be hard to tell if its the whole forearm or just the fingers sometimes....... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 16th Feb 2020 10:51am)

did this to my ex once, burned her labia majora quite badly, i just accepted hair after that...... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Feb 2020 10:17am)

seen a guy on the bus, looked like an old hippy, he let the kids away with throwing their shite on the floor, raising wee maddies..... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 22nd Feb 2020 4:26am)

what is apple ale like? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 28th Feb 2020 9:57am)

now try to say aluminimum linolium by axis_of_elvis (Sat 29th Feb 2020 4:39pm)

the glasgow version. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Mar 2020 1:44am)

only the roads out are good ones? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Mar 2020 3:03pm)

someone should set up a cult deprogramming stall net to the JWs at the train station. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Mar 2020 11:03am)

round eye here ruining it for everyone.....ps frozen dumplings are nice. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 15th Mar 2020 1:09pm)

just wipe with old underwear then put in wash...... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 16th Mar 2020 8:33am)

where is mullet man now? he seems like a dude..... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Mar 2020 6:51am)

i never knew masturbation was a thing by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Mar 2020 9:04pm)

a home mobile router and antenna make this work wery well. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 28th Mar 2020 5:13am)

here is an idea they have for the strip. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6tcW1uXAAALDb9.jpg by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Apr 2020 9:28am)

https://www.sowseeds.co.uk/products/squash-kabocha-seeds https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/grow-your-own/vegetables/squash by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Apr 2020 9:42am)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c3/TARDIS2.jpg you need one of those, go back in time, plant them, then you should have them now, theres a few of these magic boxes dotted around glasgow. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Apr 2020 10:09am)

some guys have their drums set up in one. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Apr 2020 3:18am)

now would be the time to buy the aldi or lidl propane stove, also in argos https://www.argos.co.uk/product/3407497 by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Apr 2020 3:15am)

what if time and space are actually flat but cos they hug the earth so much they make it round? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Apr 2020 3:20am)

but muh propane....... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 10th Apr 2020 1:14pm)

or borrow one for a few hours by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Apr 2020 6:59am)

neighbour sitting on close stairs getting some sun, dont want to cause trouble but i think shes out of order, i have to climb over her to get in or out. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Apr 2020 4:58pm)

gotta eat by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Apr 2020 2:20am)

she gave me the oppertunity today, next door were having a garden gathering, she was like, out of order shouldnt be doing that, i was like, you shouldnt be sitting there should you.....lol by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Apr 2020 12:18am)

get airgun ticket, buy air gun and night scope, bait target area up, spend the evening popping rats in the coupon. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 21st Apr 2020 2:01am)

superpowered hoover could be weed growing. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 21st Apr 2020 2:05am)

air rifle by axis_of_elvis (Thu 23rd Apr 2020 1:01am)

doon the shops by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Apr 2020 1:00am)

or a magpie, seen one demolishing a mouse nest the other day, it munched all the weans. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Apr 2020 3:21am)

dinnae gie awa the location, idiots will turn up and rub the stanes. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 26th Apr 2020 1:55am)

im staring to build a worm bin with everyones old glass reclycling boxes, should work, did a run in them last year with mushrooms, ended up swarming with wriggly wormies. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Apr 2020 1:54am)

forget calling the polis, wheres the video? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Apr 2020 6:44am)

got freaky with my first gf with some fruit and honey, apparently its a bad idea to get sugars anywhere near a vagina, oh the dough. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 1st May 2020 4:50am)

just dont ever pu sugar in a vagina, its bad. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 1st May 2020 12:32pm)

have you had a look at arc? https://www.glasgow.gov.uk/article/17216/Autism-Resource-Centre-ARC by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd May 2020 8:24am)

ok, theres one thing thats mildy controversial, i smoke hash, not soapbar but expensive hash, untill its available on prescription(private script costs money) its maybe not a good idea but it works for me, i feel it makes me a little more normal or functional, u ever toke? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 4th May 2020 4:14am)

you could use veet at a push? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th May 2020 4:06am)

window netting, and sadly unless you want to catch them all individually which is heroic, you want an electric zapper. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th May 2020 5:14am)

that wisnae yer pocket, that wis yer y's by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th May 2020 5:15am)

in swizerland they use little pillows of cannabis. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th May 2020 5:14am)

live fresh? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th May 2020 9:59pm)

those kids look like they have ket by axis_of_elvis (Tue 12th May 2020 1:05pm)

thats a bit random, did you lose them? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 15th May 2020 12:35pm)

slash him with razors attached to thruppeny bits whislt shouting "tongs ya bass" that will put him in good stead with regard to his manners. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 19th May 2020 4:57pm)

he has a cock like a babies arm, ask him about it, its un-naturaly large by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st May 2020 6:17pm)

the baklava is amazing by axis_of_elvis (Fri 22nd May 2020 10:18am)

isnt it still there? there one just like it sells paintball gear crossbows and accordions, just incase you need to paintball some randos, shoot a stag, then perform a ceilidh. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 4th Jun 2020 5:40am)

they make these in africa. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 4th Jun 2020 5:45am)

https://youtu.be/RuH-l9yqEo0?t=99 by axis_of_elvis (Fri 5th Jun 2020 11:31pm)

did you pump the burd r naw? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 6th Jun 2020 4:19pm)

this could be comedy routine,"a day in victor morriss" by axis_of_elvis (Sat 6th Jun 2020 4:21pm)

hard hat, clipboard, high vis by axis_of_elvis (Sun 7th Jun 2020 2:21am)

they have a different class of junkie there....."exscuse me, my bently has run out of petroleum distillate and in my rush leaving the house i appear to have misplaced my wallet, would you happen to have twenty pounds sterling?" by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Jun 2020 2:27pm)

DELETED window netting? the kind to stop bugs by axis_of_elvis (Sun 14th Jun 2020 2:55pm)

is that the one across from central? they do an awesome haggis. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Jun 2020 11:03am)

chips off the ole potato shoulder what what. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 18th Jun 2020 5:45am)

entities are a common experience when a person consumes DMT, terrance mckenna called them the machine elves, they are as confused about the whole thing as we are. in other cultures the crasy one who sees things and eats mushrooms, is revered as a wise one. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 19th Jun 2020 3:04am)

might be better if they dinnae fuck to be fair...... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Jun 2020 12:07pm)

boots? i never bought my space there, but upon asking if they would make an adjustment, no problem. lovely by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Jun 2020 4:06pm)

i hope he at least had some lube....... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Jun 2020 1:05pm)

the guy in black is like tank man, the car bounced aff him an he just stauns there by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Jun 2020 4:48pm)

garden full of kale and onions, id give it a go, neighbours would have to fall into a hole conveniently though........ by axis_of_elvis (Wed 24th Jun 2020 4:59am)

wheelie bins, how far is he? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 25th Jun 2020 3:45am)

its what victor morrises turned into, now instead of a chib, crossbow and a bass guitar, you can furnish yourself with a purple waggler a butt plug and a whole bucket of lube, its tae spread a new message, dinnae chib cunts, fuck em. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 28th Jun 2020 1:51pm)

?cant you order online¿ by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Jun 2020 8:52am)

naw shug dinnae huckle him, hes wan ae us. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Jun 2020 12:21pm)

someone stick one of those bad horsie dildoes on the horse for a laugh....... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Jun 2020 4:20pm)

im sorry, we were feeling a little hoarse....... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 30th Jun 2020 1:20pm)

i wanted my nails done as all the girls in my band had them, i got refused and im a big hairball.... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Jul 2020 12:55pm)

you deserve better, have you considered online therapy? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Jul 2020 12:24am)

its a game they play from the adjacent roof, its all cones up there, they toss them off to see how many they can get on with out the horse jumping up. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Jul 2020 9:32am)

what do you think i could trade a box of dildos for? they are my ex's and now i have nowhere to put them...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Jul 2020 12:26pm)

centrals crawlin wie hoes, dinna ken if bike washings on the menu though..... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Jul 2020 11:44am)

i can do it for you on the cheap by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Jul 2020 2:14pm)

what spin cycle do you use? i let my machine do the program spin then i do a fast spin after, it removes loads of water... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Jul 2020 2:01pm)

no, they call it jumpy cunthorse......... by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Jul 2020 5:43pm)

gardening is fun, if you dont have a grden maybe you could volunteer at a garden project.....or you could just volunteer as a hobby. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jul 2020 2:15pm)

gardening is so much more than grass cutting, whilst grass cutting is a nice and mesmerising activity, activley growing plants and tending to a garden is really good for the mind. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Jul 2020 3:28pm)

cool, u got your own grass or is it a shared garden? just wondering cos some neighbours dont understand why a lawn is rubbish...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Jul 2020 8:48am)

how many jobbies does the average shoe bo hold? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 11th Jul 2020 3:59pm)

£13 for a pair of smokies, how big are they? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jul 2020 2:42pm)

the local iceland is quite the hookup spot for the affluent youth. they flock here from as far away as royston. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jul 2020 3:03pm)

iceland have greggs slices by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jul 2020 3:30pm)

was it the delicious frozen food that attracted you to the iceland or was it the cheap drink? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jul 2020 3:48pm)

like Ulva is crying out for Vulva, she is like the wee lesbos of the west...... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Jul 2020 4:58pm)

if you use a condom it can be used multiple times before being served......used to work in a chippy...... by axis_of_elvis (Mon 13th Jul 2020 5:12pm)

les porters in yoker is always a good jaunt, just dont let them know you're not from yoker though. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th Jul 2020 10:33am)

i never even knew her by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th Jul 2020 1:46pm)

from your post history you just got a hookup for junk 6 days ago? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Jul 2020 2:07pm)

looks like he been cleaning up the reviews, it was carnage on there for a while. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Jul 2020 12:37pm)

careful with halfords, they are funny with bike services. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Jul 2020 4:18pm)

they pull you in with a "free " service, then charge you for loads of thing you never reallly needed doing. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Jul 2020 12:16am)

seagull shaggers by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Jul 2020 9:37am)

nice one m8, least someone bothered. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 17th Jul 2020 2:59pm)

its mating time, they look funny as fuck when they shag. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 18th Jul 2020 9:33am)

they all died of the coof in a few weeks by axis_of_elvis (Sun 19th Jul 2020 3:50am)

this whole thing has "my furst science experument" written all over it. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 19th Jul 2020 4:22am)

limmy, hes a pure sex pest by axis_of_elvis (Sun 19th Jul 2020 5:02am)

isnt it mental that a girl can wear jeans and a shirt and its cool, a guy wears a skirt and people dont know what to do. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 20th Jul 2020 7:18am)

have you thought about an electric brompton? it folds so you can take it on the bus. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 21st Jul 2020 3:53am)

its the new gov approved gloryhole tm, now you just hold your cock and pretend smoeone else is holding it while talking dirty? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 23rd Jul 2020 7:03pm)

i did post work when i was your age, it was good and got me out in areas of town i would never see otherwise, carrying the big bag makes you strong. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jul 2020 6:02pm)

ts dobbies loan, naw dobbies scone, fucksake by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jul 2020 6:00pm)

jesus, how many splinter bands are going to form out of this thread>? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jul 2020 7:01pm)

can you play sax, i wanna start a new average white band, we can call it the not so average white band. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jul 2020 6:59pm)

like some kinda crime on the picket line by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Jul 2020 8:21pm)

i love meeting other scottish folks on warzone, its funny, awrite ya bawbag, and they just ken. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Jul 2020 1:01pm)

some kids are great, they totally beat me, others shouldnt be allowed a mic........ by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Jul 2020 1:19pm)

slack lives matter. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Jul 2020 6:00pm)

im a bit slack by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Jul 2020 7:02pm)

give the junkies badges, bouncers..... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Jul 2020 9:02pm)

right, i get it, just seems bankrupt somewhat. either we mask up in shops or we dont, i been mask for four months now........ by axis_of_elvis (Tue 28th Jul 2020 5:22pm)

i too reccomend cock and ball torture, really brought me out of my shell. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jul 2020 3:19am)

modify one so it cant be switched off. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jul 2020 1:09pm)

rast lesort by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jul 2020 5:24pm)

dump some weed on a hot coal and say its a drugs party, before moving if you do, but a few smoke alarms, load with duff batteries, place somewhere they will hear them........ by axis_of_elvis (Fri 31st Jul 2020 5:28pm)

the residents are dead against visitors at the moment. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 2nd Aug 2020 12:28pm)

vertical farming and microgreens. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 5:51am)

if you were to self assemble one from supermarket stuff, what would you use? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 11:21am)

ill get the beer. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 1:30pm)

spark a few brews and stick a shrimp on the , oh wait.......stick some prawns in a pan. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 3:44pm)

weathers boggin, nice movie and a pump? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 6:43pm)

but what bread? bread can be a nightmare. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 6:44pm)

sex orgy supermarket. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 7:43pm)

put solar on roof by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 7:49pm)

you said you liked it by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 7:45pm)

its a trap, he is a djinn, destined to ride the glasgow bus for all eternity, he will trade you out and return to the persian land of his birth for breeding purposes, whilst you will be asking yourself "why the fuck am i in possil again, thats the 7th time today" by axis_of_elvis (Tue 4th Aug 2020 7:58pm)

cumbath giraffe by axis_of_elvis (Fri 7th Aug 2020 8:42am)

theres some steps by the river that are nice for lunch. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 7th Aug 2020 1:43pm)

blochairn fruit market? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 9th Aug 2020 1:39pm)

they should call them jizzcuzzi, cos obvious. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 10th Aug 2020 12:24pm)

a music shop? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Aug 2020 10:04am)

he was a pedo who pretended to be a cat so weans would pet him. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Aug 2020 6:34pm)

why? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Aug 2020 3:23pm)

are they banned now? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Aug 2020 3:54pm)

why, using offal is quite good. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 13th Aug 2020 1:27am)

a ham shandy by axis_of_elvis (Thu 13th Aug 2020 2:46pm)

drilled a wee hole and fucked yer bin. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 13th Aug 2020 6:11pm)

why? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th Aug 2020 3:25am)

shes turned the weans ginger by axis_of_elvis (Sat 15th Aug 2020 5:44pm)

you mean devious bastard, love it by axis_of_elvis (Sun 16th Aug 2020 1:42pm)

is t the one hosted by "liam" by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Aug 2020 11:59am)

whats the vibe like at a scottish outside rave? only been to english ones. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Aug 2020 8:13pm)

union? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 18th Aug 2020 4:09pm)

mind the pigeons carry chlamidya by axis_of_elvis (Thu 20th Aug 2020 5:14pm)

theres a trick with wetting them slightly then oven , but i forget the rules...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 20th Aug 2020 5:15pm)

hello, this is reddit police, all our operators are busy at the moment, you may want to try the actual police.......... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 22nd Aug 2020 4:16am)

sneaky way, go shop, at start of grocery shop, take beer, place in an empty freezer without being seen, at end of shop , retreive beer, depending on how long it takes you to shop. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 22nd Aug 2020 10:57am)

he is reinventing himself as a moody goth at the four corners by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd Aug 2020 11:15am)

you need a cat im afraid. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd Aug 2020 3:16pm)

no kebab only khlav kalash, get out shop. i beat you. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd Aug 2020 3:15pm)

can you knock together a raised bed , then fill it with all the fallen leafs you find? top this with some compost. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 25th Aug 2020 4:07am)

kisses, those bonnie glaswegian kisses. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 25th Aug 2020 3:17pm)

are thir eyes a funny colour like the fremen? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 27th Aug 2020 6:38am)

wait what? you make these up first then ask them to deep fry it? i imagine the mix of fat and sweet would be awesome, but sadly they use veg oil nowadays. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 27th Aug 2020 2:34pm)

espacially shaped like a pair of baws. could be some 4chan weirdo actually frying his nuts. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 27th Aug 2020 3:27pm)

help , mother has awakened again........ by axis_of_elvis (Thu 27th Aug 2020 8:09pm)

is jim still alive? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 27th Aug 2020 8:18pm)

fun fact, when the edinburgh bus is busy, the airport bus is normally empty, its pretty easy getting into the city from the airport. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 28th Aug 2020 4:01pm)

cunt by axis_of_elvis (Sat 29th Aug 2020 7:50pm)

yes. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 30th Aug 2020 3:17am)

i made perfectly good use of the word cunt i thought? was the right context for cunt? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 30th Aug 2020 8:03am)

addiction stems from many things, ncluding abuse, addiction is a powerful motivator for acuisative crime, some people dont know what they are getting themselves into, they actually need help to break the cycle and attitudes like yours do not help. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 31st Aug 2020 12:15am)

i imagine , rape, murder, some more rape and pillaging? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 3rd Sep 2020 6:18pm)

its indoor bowling with real balls. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Sep 2020 12:36pm)

they smoke copious amounts of really strong smelling weed by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Sep 2020 12:35pm)

could this app work like a radar and teel you when you are approaching the infected? kinda like the beat sensor in COD? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 9:07am)

a place where they overcharge for simple repairs and sometimes price the repair so high, that buying a new one is better value, not very eco. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 9:10am)

you first, shows the rat on the way up...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 6:18pm)

i think his head and ass are close already, scuse my french. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 6:24pm)

you can hack an old laptop to house a mobile console rig. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 6:28pm)

its infused with that thc stuff by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 6:25pm)

darn, i could have flagged myself as infected and everyone would avoid me.......like a self induced force field. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Sep 2020 6:33pm)

where is this from? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 17th Sep 2020 9:20am)

fencing you say, do you deal with wrought iron at all? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 17th Sep 2020 1:10pm)

yeh i can see that, wheres the crime rport from? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Sep 2020 2:01am)

60 miles on a full charge by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Sep 2020 3:24am)

and i suppose your archery does not involve the making of arches? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Sep 2020 3:55pm)

there was an older man who played a fender jazzmaster/jaguar was kinda like shadows stuff he played, made a nice ambiacne on sauchiihall street. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Sep 2020 1:26pm)

they do the best baklava ever. im craving some now. the butcher has good meat. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Sep 2020 5:37pm)

a close call with the lobby jobby by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Sep 2020 5:35pm)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaica_ginger#Organophosphate-induced_delayed_neuropathy by axis_of_elvis (Wed 23rd Sep 2020 1:41pm)

i run a charity for folks who never went through puberty, we make little rugs from pube donors, how many pubes do you have? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 26th Sep 2020 2:15pm)

giant seagulls, 2020 just got a powerup. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 2nd Oct 2020 4:03pm)

where will i get my buttplugs? i dont feel christmassy untill i have multiple plugs....... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 2nd Oct 2020 7:21pm)

it can marinade pork like no other. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 2nd Oct 2020 7:33pm)

memories of leafing throught the poster stand at woolies. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 5th Oct 2020 11:53am)

when i was a kid i thought they meant tongs like you use for picking things up by axis_of_elvis (Mon 5th Oct 2020 12:51pm)

was it just a wee phase? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 7th Oct 2020 3:04pm)

they called me a goth in school, my year never really had goths, i just liked metal, it was just me in all black mopeing in the corner. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 7th Oct 2020 4:02pm)

rubbered city by axis_of_elvis (Fri 9th Oct 2020 4:35pm)

CSI crime labs guy here.....see how you zoomed in on the reflection and enhanced....... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 9th Oct 2020 4:35pm)

this is where they come to mate, sadly the rutting process is quite deadly. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 10th Oct 2020 5:19pm)

in a twisted way it is better they live. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 10th Oct 2020 5:22pm)

interesting, is the page being run by one of the marketers? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 12th Oct 2020 3:43am)

pay a visit to glasgows best kebab shop? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 14th Oct 2020 12:33pm)

https://www.spenergynetworks.co.uk/pages/power_cuts_map.aspx love that map by axis_of_elvis (Wed 14th Oct 2020 12:36pm)

pat test was just an excuse to have a look around your things. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 21st Oct 2020 2:57pm)

how long have you been a girl? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 25th Oct 2020 1:02pm)

it looks pretty cool, you could remove the guts and mount a digital camera inside it. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 28th Oct 2020 9:05am)

if you really want proper CBD oil that is medical then you can go this route. https://www.reddit.com/r/ukmedicalcannabis/comments/iqbvt7/the_uk_medical_users_guide_of_how_to_get_a/ by axis_of_elvis (Thu 29th Oct 2020 2:26am)

on a salmon forum in 2009 someonoe is talking about natural spawning being lacking in the clyde https://www.salmonfishingforum.com/forums/threads/is-the-clyde-clean.12551/page-2 like the salmon cant cross the upper weir so cant spawn. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Oct 2020 5:29pm)

really , we have sturgeon here? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Oct 2020 5:29pm)

cool by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Oct 2020 5:46pm)

exscuse me? i cant work out what you are saying? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Nov 2020 2:29am)

how does the social distancing work? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Nov 2020 10:02am)

dont bring the kids into it...... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Nov 2020 2:04pm)

if i remember correctly i went fishing in knapps loch 30 odd years ago with a spinner and caught some monsters. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Nov 2020 5:49am)

can you put some cctv up? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Nov 2020 5:47am)

lockdown, normal autistic experience. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Nov 2020 8:23pm)

poor shirley manson......her piles must ache. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Nov 2020 8:28pm)

fuck em. but then they might get kids..... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 8th Nov 2020 12:43am)

theres an app that shows masts, i think its called opensignal, you can also get a router to put your sim in, then attach an ariel that can see the mast. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 8th Nov 2020 10:15am)

TOCP was originally thought to be non-toxic; however, it was later determined to be a neurotoxin that causes axonal damage to the nerve cells in the nervous system of human beings, especially those located in the spinal cord. The resulting type of paralysis is now referred to as organophosphate-induced delayed neuropathy, or OPIDN.[7] In 1930, large numbers of Jake users began to find they were unable to use their hands and feet.[8] Some victims could walk, but they had no control over the muscles which would normally have enabled them to point their toes upward. Therefore, they would raise their feet high with the toes flopping downward, which would touch the pavement first followed by their heels. The toe first, heel second pattern made a distinctive "tap-click, tap-click" sound as they walked. This very peculiar gait became known as the jake walk and the jake dance and those afflicted were said[9] to have jake leg, jake foot, or jake paralysis. Additionally, the calves of the legs would soften and hang down and the muscles between the thumbs and fingers would atrophy. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Nov 2020 4:07am)

have a chug, save lives. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 12th Nov 2020 5:07am)

do you hvae an ip camera? they have nightvision, its cool watching them, i stick the camera in the corner of a big amazon box, little hole cut in the bottom side for entry, then i pput things in for them to eat and some water, water is key , without water they could die and then u have stinky dead mouse somewhere. once they are comfortable with the environment you will notice how intelligent they are, when they observe you changing the dirty water, slowly you will gain their trust. it is at this point that you can smash the little fuckers head in with a hammer. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Nov 2020 8:44am)

hikvision are quite decent from what ive read. i dont really bash their heads in, i just like telling that joke, i use celery and mouse food pellets in an old orange juice bottle, then i sneak up on them and put the lid on, so cute. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Nov 2020 11:16am)

i got myself a mouse cage, gonna keep them for a little while. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Nov 2020 1:39pm)

i find they just put their headphones on and blast the tunes. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 13th Nov 2020 1:40pm)

the staff at strung out guitars are really good at that sort of thing. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 17th Nov 2020 9:06am)

how did you know they were hookers? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Nov 2020 9:08am)

and its probobly only a very mild example of whats going on. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 21st Nov 2020 12:11pm)

dressing down helps, if you look like you need money beggers leave you alone. urboflage by axis_of_elvis (Sun 22nd Nov 2020 4:45am)

can i have a tenner also? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 22nd Nov 2020 10:49am)

are these the same guys who did the same sort of thing in the 90's? i remember the double bass player would climb up on his bass and stuff. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Nov 2020 6:49am)

4g sim dropped into a decent router and a good antennae. use open signal app to find tower and point/mount antennae si it has best line of sight. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Nov 2020 6:53am)

yeh, im on o2 and its £30 a month, getting good enough speeds to play warzone, dont have proper line of sight to tower, but have mounted antennae( mimo for multiple in out) on the window closest to line of sight, works a treat, the front of house is shockingly bad. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Nov 2020 11:20am)

if i was on the streets it would be awful, i think id want some drugs, y'know? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Nov 2020 2:04am)

lol stoners by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Nov 2020 6:27am)

worked at BMW cowley, whole shift was on it, job got done, no problem, even went over the tesco at break with the germans to sink a beer( they drink on shift at the plant in germany), your minis are made with beer and weed........ by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Nov 2020 6:38pm)

i think they chaek the coulour. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Nov 2020 6:40pm)

https://www.usdrugtestcenters.com/drug-test-blog/187/how-much-water-causes-diluted-drug-test-results.html by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Nov 2020 4:00am)

could visit a castle just to be sure. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 27th Nov 2020 8:32am)

brassicae by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Nov 2020 12:52am)

i have a ps4 and a ps1 you could tape together....... by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Nov 2020 2:47am)

he lives in florida by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Nov 2020 11:32am)

they had a gary gritter but he got funny around the kids...... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Dec 2020 3:17pm)

take out loads of free credit? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 5th Dec 2020 8:50am)

not really, nobody wants a pothead flying a plane. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 5th Dec 2020 10:41pm)

replace the button with a proximity sensor. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Dec 2020 11:05pm)

their response times must look good right now. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 12th Dec 2020 8:34am)

on the upside, if pedos think its some sort of free for all area, and they go looking to score, some of those hard looking lads might sort them out. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Dec 2020 1:39pm)

no i think it reads quite straightforward, lets say you have a man with a penchant pour les jeune filles, he reads about the no holds barred sex palace that is govanhill, sniffs about, finds group of youths claiming to have sex dungeon with their sisters in, he gets to said sex dungeon, and clink.......no sisters, how was that? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Dec 2020 3:50pm)

ye'll get fat by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Dec 2020 4:28am)

mine used to shag on the kitchen table, at arse o'clock on a friday morning, she would be shouting YESYESYES, one time i shouted NONONO, they have kinda stopped. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Dec 2020 4:32am)

here put yer hauns out, i made you meatballs and sauce. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 20th Dec 2020 4:38am)

hide in the bin untill the culprit appears, jump out whilst shouting boooooo. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 23rd Dec 2020 4:03am)

cumtastic ribs, i bet they really stick to your ribs..... by axis_of_elvis (Wed 23rd Dec 2020 9:10am)

spackle spacle spackle, all over the pan. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Dec 2020 12:07am)

get ahead of the game, get yourself a wire racking unit and a viparspectra led light, use these to get your plants big and strong. then put them out. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Dec 2020 10:50am)

protip, dont ever put honey anywhere near a vagina. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Dec 2020 3:42am)

dae the binmen still smoke loads of joints all day long? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Jan 2021 2:01pm)

yaaaasssssss, some jobs are actually fun when your onit. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Jan 2021 2:09pm)

sole traders? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 5th Jan 2021 12:17pm)

wear socks over your shoes by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Jan 2021 1:19pm)

get underground to cowcaddens, go to chinatown restaurant, only round eye in whole place, eat. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 8th Jan 2021 5:52am)

they should host a gay night with such finery. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 9th Jan 2021 11:53am)

mr poopey the shitheaded snow pole, had a very poopey head. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 9th Jan 2021 11:58am)

couldnt find the bit for free bags by axis_of_elvis (Sat 9th Jan 2021 11:57am)

stops the flies. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Jan 2021 3:09am)

tell us more about the conductor, was he having late night bevvy sessions with string quartets? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 13th Jan 2021 2:40am)

good name for a punk band by axis_of_elvis (Wed 13th Jan 2021 2:35am)

wouldnt they get polluted by the planes? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 13th Jan 2021 10:52am)

steamed bam hams. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 15th Jan 2021 2:54am)

acoustic tiles on floor as foundation, self build garden shed with acoustic foam on inside, kingspan on outside. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 20th Jan 2021 12:28am)

hire a van and drop it back in front of their office? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Jan 2021 12:53pm)

i was jokey haha, dont do this......but if you do, do it it in several small pieces, little chunke here, little chunk there, suddenly youve built a shitefort, ants can do it, no way you cant, i wasnt here........ by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Jan 2021 6:39pm)

i was thinking mounting a mirror at the window might be cool, maybe not in your situation though, do you think they would let you put shiney stuff up on the window like tin foil? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 23rd Jan 2021 4:45am)

or a collector dish that beams it back at them. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 25th Jan 2021 12:12pm)

some of the flats used to have something like storm shutters on the inside that folded out from the sides of the windows. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 26th Jan 2021 9:46am)

my pal on the southside had his in working order, they actually help with draughts and noise. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 26th Jan 2021 11:41am)

thats a part of the mating ritual, if you can get her home, later she will place her beak over yours and squirt delicious lambrini kebab crop milk from her crop into yours, then she will lay a clutch of wee bams and force you to go out at all hours for grub. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 4th Feb 2021 11:59am)

rats are full of protein by axis_of_elvis (Fri 5th Feb 2021 12:40pm)

you think "police intelligence" would be able to clock an active party. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 8th Feb 2021 2:05am)

im all about them skunk poopers. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Feb 2021 6:05am)

cool, let me know if my pooper comes up at any of the meetings, he has a life of his own that little guy. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Feb 2021 12:38pm)

cool, it looks like im growing my pooper at the window, which sounds fun. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Feb 2021 1:39pm)

build the ginormous metal monstrosity pooper under the guise of "gateway to glasgow" by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Feb 2021 1:41pm)

she has some sort of narcissistic personality disorder, she calls all of the men in the close not real men and wimps, after talking to her i often find myself having a mental breakdown, i no longer speak to her. when i first moved here i would give her door a knock if i thought she needed help, then i realised how big her box of frogs was. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 6:29pm)

been saying for years it needs doing, the one at the back is blocked at the guys house, everyone dodges responsibility. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 6:43pm)

she is the sort of person who talks at you, she cant be talked with, is cleaning your own gutters hingin out the windae normal behaviour? it sounds risky but i cant chap her door and tell her that as she is rather abusive. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 7:14pm)

it simply needs done, money was taken years ago and nothing got done, its a shambles, its slowly affecting the building to the point something will have to be done, i only rent but i suppose i could get an assessment done or ask my landlord to do one? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 7:11pm)

nah we self factor, which is kinda mental, i dont think we pay for the close lighting. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 7:42pm)

you mad potato in the oven you by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Feb 2021 9:09pm)

i self sectioned once after she threw away all my plants and garden tools, i was gonnae do her. i fessed up to mental health and they helped me not end up in prison. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 12th Feb 2021 2:05pm)

wouldnt the dress end up all full of holes? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 13th Feb 2021 5:44am)

isnt jamming online working yet? or is lag still athing? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 13th Feb 2021 3:53pm)

someone should start an r/glasgow jam, i wonder what tunes would be played? would it be like a steamy pub session with all the cheesy sweet home alabamas , i shot the sherrif and cocaine? the song of course not the drug cos that stuff bad bad. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 13th Feb 2021 5:53pm)

you already are. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 14th Feb 2021 4:15pm)

projecting a giant cock. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 14th Feb 2021 7:42pm)

babylon? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Feb 2021 8:07am)

small thing nobody seems to know about, you can get routers that take a 4g sim, then hook the router up to an antenna you can put by the window/out the window/ pointed right at the tower with a reflector. get good speeds this way. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Feb 2021 4:15am)

cheers. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Feb 2021 5:02pm)

no, huawei with antenna, its a poynting mimo antenna, very good, im getting 35mbps in a total deadspot. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 16th Feb 2021 5:01pm)

wine opened, tagine in the oven, all is good in clownland. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Feb 2021 4:02pm)

it was rather lovely wasnt it. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Feb 2021 4:40pm)

just started groundhog day, going to do star wars soon. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 22nd Feb 2021 5:26pm)

can you hear them go at it like a pair of wee stoats? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 25th Feb 2021 2:17am)

try playing sexy makeout sax music super loud by axis_of_elvis (Sat 6th Mar 2021 11:48am)

cage traps are decent, can get them on amazon, it has a sensative pressure switch which you bait with peanut butter, ive caught field mice with them, also the walk the plank trap works well, you have to set it up on a large brewing bucket though as the mice can jump. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Mar 2021 5:59am)

poor bastard will be knee deep by now by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Mar 2021 6:06am)

i catch and release, mice are really up against it being the chicken nuggets of the animal world, everything wants to eat them, so with that in mind i provide them with an all expenses paid luxury cage for the evening stocked with all the things a mousey could munch on, hopefully by the morning they are well fed and ready to face danger. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Mar 2021 6:55am)

it leads to greenock though, its like the snake from snakes n ladders. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 11th Mar 2021 9:53am)

what? you can do it that way? deary me, i drove the van all the way back to england and got the bus home, ha, silly me. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 17th Mar 2021 3:08am)

what size are you? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 31st Mar 2021 1:17pm)

i got size 8 you could have one and jam both your feet in? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 31st Mar 2021 4:18pm)

you are lovely! by axis_of_elvis (Thu 1st Apr 2021 8:51pm)

start punting yourself, massivly under cut his prices till he moves. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 7th Apr 2021 9:23am)

if there is no water you can use your own piss in a pinch by axis_of_elvis (Fri 9th Apr 2021 2:24am)

how camp are they, would using one make me a bit queer? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 9th Apr 2021 2:26am)

blochairn fruit market? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 9th Apr 2021 1:07pm)

im from the area by axis_of_elvis (Fri 16th Apr 2021 2:52pm)

hms vanguard? might bee too much seaman for you though. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 18th Apr 2021 12:07pm)

if people dont laught at you then you might just be shite? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Apr 2021 3:32am)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Raclette-Cheese-Premium-Quality-kilo/dp/B078ZCDKJ3/ref=asc_df_B078ZCDKJ3/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310786071490&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18101920986912032702&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007340&hvtargid=pla-698485079993&psc=1 by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Apr 2021 5:38pm)

there must be an internet site calle "the bushes" with all the old manky porn on. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 24th Apr 2021 2:34am)

watch the shite dodgers across the road, their psychology is funny, dug shitting, check for eyes on, no eyes on, dont bother, oh a runner, pretend to look respectable, im just moving towards the jobby like im going to, ok runner gone as you were scummy cunt dont bother. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 24th Apr 2021 2:33am)

keep us updated by axis_of_elvis (Sun 25th Apr 2021 4:44am)

morton rolls are crispy. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 29th Apr 2021 5:44pm)

aye you mum was the actual bard. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 29th Apr 2021 5:40pm)

aye, she called it the list an all. everyone wis onit ken? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 29th Apr 2021 5:52pm)

yes by axis_of_elvis (Thu 29th Apr 2021 5:59pm)

scotlanf sounds like a happening place by axis_of_elvis (Sat 1st May 2021 4:01pm)

the sexy bumder list? cool beans, do you collect gays? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 1st May 2021 4:22pm)

can you get to the roof, may be worth your time buying a mobile router and antenna, then place it upstairs where it can see a tower, speeds my friend, good speeds. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 3rd May 2021 3:10am)

you are very hot for a 75 year old. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th May 2021 3:28pm)

they want to stop sex education so the kids dont know whats happening is wrong. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th May 2021 3:34pm)

are you suggesting watersports? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 1:45am)

yeh, lets mass protest during a pandemic. i have an idea, lets all stay home and not do anything, thats a good protest. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 5:29pm)

does covid infect gingers? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 5:28pm)

welcome to city 17 by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 5:26pm)

i just thought it would be weird if gingers never got it, like gingers are secretly running shit, -conspiracy- by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 5:42pm)

dear god, well, fuck yourselves and mix, go protest, i actually hope you die from it without spreading. fucking dumb fuck protesters. during a fucking pandemic. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 6:57pm)

i have a wee bit of ginger in my beard, its the infection erection. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th May 2021 6:55pm)

i wish you good luck, come back here in three weeks, by axis_of_elvis (Sat 15th May 2021 12:05pm)

predatory bugs, like the lady that ate the fly, diatomaceous earth works well as do sticky traps. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 16th May 2021 10:11am)

yeh by axis_of_elvis (Sun 16th May 2021 10:27am)

ducks feet. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 18th May 2021 5:07am)

she is right to be concerned, flights should have been stopped ages ago and non of this would be as bad as it is. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 23rd May 2021 3:13am)

amazon. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 28th May 2021 5:40am)

dogs are genetically inferior, having been bred for the whims of man, grow yourself a beard, man up and get yourself a wild wolf. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 30th May 2021 4:44am)

theres a man in the shop shouts at me if i buy organic milk, he also tells be to pack my beer bottles apart so they dont make noise, im going home to smoke a joint and drink some beer, im not training to be in the paras. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Jun 2021 1:45am)

i feel you may have misunderstood what i have written. i actually have cctv because of attempted break ins and neighbours stealing, as for bike riding , i used to run a camera till it broke, just got a new one and its taking me a while to get used to it. also am vulnerable autistic adult, so im thinking about having the camera primed while im just out walking as having video after an altercation makes the polices job much easier. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Jun 2021 9:04am)

yeh, i think when my brain freezes, its when it says load and shoot, then i realiz, uk. bend over and be fucked. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 5th Jun 2021 5:26am)

is this the club where people wee on each other? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 8th Jun 2021 2:37pm)

put a suction cup dildo on your head, they wont call you specky any more. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 14th Jun 2021 2:45am)

how do you prove couplehood though? right, i wanna see winchin sucking and fucking by axis_of_elvis (Thu 17th Jun 2021 2:13am)

are you getting to date the fit one? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 17th Jun 2021 2:10am)

are you sure its dead? maybe its simply pineing for the clyde valley or the gourock riviera. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 21st Jun 2021 4:14am)

autist also, i get you, neighbour recently got a puppy, its a double edged sword, yes the barking grates but its on a long list of things like that so i block it and the other stuff like neighbours arguing loudly/having sex with music or headphones, sometimes when the neighbours are having loud sex i put on some sax music or careless whisper, the upside of puppy, i borrow puppy for puppy cuddles, its been 4 months now and ive only had to pick up one shit, so i now have a dog without the responsibilities of having one, seriously, if you havn't cuddled a dog yet, friend a dog, so much love. i think its helped me a lot(this sounds weird but i hadnt felt love in a while) by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Jun 2021 4:46am)

yeh, i mind all the cool arcade games, arcades were fun, now everyone just stays home to game, do gaming arcades still exist? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 25th Jun 2021 12:04pm)

cranberry sauce helps with the gameyness. i mean heck, they are in the cemetery already. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Jun 2021 1:33am)

i think he means sweeties? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Jun 2021 1:32am)

is there somewhere you can get line of sight to the tower, there used to be a resource online for free that showed you all the towers local to you. if you can work out where the tower is you can get yourself a 4g router, you put the sim in and connect to an antenna which you place somewhere which either gets line of sight or good reflection from the tower. not sure how this could be done exactly, but you could try to find a place in the garden that gets signal, then A-team a reflector to beam it into your window, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdM68hgit0E by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Jun 2021 1:40am)

get them cheaper if you go to blochairn. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Jun 2021 1:46am)

how techie are you lot? do you have any ip or webcams with nightvision? i get a large amazon box and mount the webcam inside sometimes on the floor of the box but i like putting the camera under the lid attached with wire, now make a small mouse sized hole in the box, bait with some peanut butter and a small receptacle of water, this way you can monitor population size , then remove the penut butter and water and put a trap in, they will feel confident in this space and are easier to catch. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 27th Jun 2021 1:12pm)

sit outside and pray loudly for god to help your neighbours keep the noise down. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 28th Jun 2021 10:05am)

or open your windows and do things with butt plugs. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 28th Jun 2021 3:24pm)

bout the same as butt plugs. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 28th Jun 2021 3:24pm)

nah, its single pane, i have no idea why it would get wet on a dry day. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 29th Jun 2021 12:57am)

no, its single pane glass, in winter water condenses on the inside, thats normal, in summer the condensation is on the outside. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 29th Jun 2021 1:25am)

no, we dont ever get rain here by axis_of_elvis (Tue 29th Jun 2021 12:47pm)

environmental health https://www.glasgow.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=24591 report it! by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jun 2021 10:11am)

thats the spirit, tell him to get on the sidewalk with his dumpster talk. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jun 2021 10:45am)

aww i missed it, did ye call me a cunt? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jun 2021 11:53am)

hey by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jun 2021 1:43pm)

thanks for noticing my sarcasm, im autistic, sometimes i cross the line and i make a mouth shit. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 30th Jun 2021 4:26pm)

this guy here making glasgow! by axis_of_elvis (Thu 1st Jul 2021 12:45am)

your teeth being put in, free, we have the nhs, legs broken, also free, ribs, free, heid pure panned in , also free, its a free state glasgow aye. only joking. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 2nd Jul 2021 5:47pm)

taps aff? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 5th Jul 2021 2:09am)

can we have xmas dinner the morrow? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 6th Jul 2021 6:40am)

a cat scanner? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 6th Jul 2021 1:00pm)

ive got both kidneys still, you could make a nice steak and kidney pie with me i mean us, we together could make a nice steak and kidney pie. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 6th Jul 2021 4:03pm)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolis_(1927_film) by axis_of_elvis (Thu 8th Jul 2021 4:06am)

i also had a weird dream where the river was gone and it was pasture. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 8th Jul 2021 8:58am)

so what class you here for? um no class just a shag please. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 10th Jul 2021 2:09pm)

ok, what class gets the best shag? im autistic..... by axis_of_elvis (Sat 10th Jul 2021 8:30pm)

shock the fucker alive with a bit of ass to mouth? i salute you sir. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 12th Jul 2021 10:53pm)

tribal by axis_of_elvis (Tue 13th Jul 2021 12:40pm)

its ok, they will replace them with cigarettes. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 14th Jul 2021 6:44pm)

hot water bottle can be frozen then wrapped in a towel. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 15th Jul 2021 2:00pm)

you mean irish football? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 16th Jul 2021 2:53pm)

medium hump or rare? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 17th Jul 2021 3:59pm)

cut price drugs sounds like normal glasgow. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 18th Jul 2021 10:47am)

smear them with pate and let them duke it out with the gulls. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 19th Jul 2021 1:50am)

looking at their menu https://www.crabshakk.com/menu/ salivating. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 20th Jul 2021 3:32am)

its all about the culture. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 21st Jul 2021 6:31am)

no visual, from hearing it id say 3-10,00 feet up going just under speed of sound. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Jul 2021 5:23pm)

ahm a rocketman, has a new meaning in glasgow by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Jul 2021 5:26pm)

yeh , nonthing on adsb though, there was an eurofighter nearby but wrong vector, thought we were being nuked. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 22nd Jul 2021 5:59pm)

why exactly? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 12:32am)

what sort of noise did it make? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 12:31am)

throw tv in bin, use internet. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 11:44am)

nanobots are not real yet, is that the best you have, you could accuse me of being a pothead or something. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 11:44am)

that was the one. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 11:43am)

thats most likey iss or iridium flare by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 5:35pm)

really straight line? iss i think. tried chasing it on my pedal bike once, weed makes you think you can do mad things. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 6:14pm)

i dont ever want to try those, the closest ive got is a bath bomb, i like those. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 23rd Jul 2021 7:06pm)

oh cool, a ufo then. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 24th Jul 2021 2:31am)

my mum taught me that one. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 24th Jul 2021 8:25am)

i am the keymaster, are you zuul? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 24th Jul 2021 9:13pm)

somewhere special like up the bum? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 25th Jul 2021 12:40pm)

indeed it is, and shows so much commitment on a first date. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 25th Jul 2021 3:20pm)

how many kidneys we talking here? asking for a doctor friend........ by axis_of_elvis (Tue 27th Jul 2021 1:24am)

best patter by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Jul 2021 12:37pm)

DELETED calling mungoes down in strathbungo, you know we dont stay too long. all the mungoes down in strathbungo (wanna suck muh dong?) by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Jul 2021 5:07pm)

sake, was making a song. get off mate. im not sure getting mu dong sucked by another man is , suck muh dick m8? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Jul 2021 5:18pm)

see the downvotes, strathbungo, no hole there, hefty bigots, move for a nice life, fuck stathbungo. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 31st Jul 2021 5:29pm)

shagger there. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 1st Aug 2021 9:01am)

i seen one in edinburgh. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Aug 2021 1:10am)

https://www.gourmet-mash-bar.com/ by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Aug 2021 1:18am)

its for the golf course which is on either side of the motorway, thats the 8th hole there, you dink it up into the horn then take the tunnel through to the other side. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 2nd Aug 2021 1:07pm)

same by axis_of_elvis (Tue 3rd Aug 2021 8:42am)

if you put it in your butt you can pretend you can shit onions. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 4th Aug 2021 1:16am)

no, not fetish, accomplishment, "see that, thats mah son shitting a whole onion". making mah maw proud there. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 4th Aug 2021 1:40pm)

trainspotting toilet is basically kombucha. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Aug 2021 8:45am)

didnt stop him eating all those chipolatas. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 5th Aug 2021 1:56pm)

promises of amazing lighting , everytime a dissapointment. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 6th Aug 2021 6:14pm)

RS Components Ltd 38 Baird St, Glasgow G4 0ED by axis_of_elvis (Sat 7th Aug 2021 12:33pm)

38 Baird St, Glasgow G4 0ED by axis_of_elvis (Sat 7th Aug 2021 12:32pm)

theres something mesmerising about electronic shops, im still mouring tandy closing, used to spend days in there as a kid playing with radios and stuff. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 7th Aug 2021 12:58pm)

no but ive seen it on the bus, everytime im like sooooon, i must make the pilgramge, i need some heat shrink. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 7th Aug 2021 1:22pm)

heroin, no eat by axis_of_elvis (Sat 7th Aug 2021 8:23pm)

where would you say is best for dim sum? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 8th Aug 2021 3:13pm)

a nice bush? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Aug 2021 5:22am)

i actually wear merino wool baselayer in the summer, but i have psoriasis and like the feeling of baselayer on my skin. its good for cycling as well. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Aug 2021 5:21am)

cheers! by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Aug 2021 6:14am)

up the bum for jesus? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 9th Aug 2021 3:48pm)

blein>there is no close electirc bill, soviet glasgow. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Aug 2021 12:24am)

in the gutters lives a long snakelike being known as the hedgehogging, it stops things going in the drain that shouldnt. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Aug 2021 12:25am)

have you tried the cbd buds and hash? theres legit websites that sell thc free legal stuff, when i was quitting i used that as a substitute, im off it at the moment and feel like shit, prefer to be baked tbh. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Aug 2021 12:53pm)

https://uncleherb.co.uk/ they have loads of really tasty buds, you would think you are consuming proper stuff, the whole skinning up smoking ritual is still there but you dont really get buzzed, before you know it youve quit. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Aug 2021 1:20pm)

yeh thats the problem, she decided the actual factor was corrupt so took it over herself, thing is she is kinda nuts. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 10th Aug 2021 5:16pm)

someones been in and pumped it. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 2:01am)

thers some sort of dawg that smells extra flowery, u think that is sprayed or just the strain? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 3:33am)

one of the safer ways this happens is that cheap cbd buds are imported from america, then they are sprayed with an enthanol shatter solution, when dried smells very hahsy and gets you wrecked, same could happen with any number of research chemical cannabinoids. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 3:30am)

stoners are cats by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 3:38am)

cant see any weed on there? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 3:37am)

beat that meat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRdxUFDoQe0 an when yo momma say, "hey quit it that shit cray" you can say yo momma im tryna beat it (addiction) by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 3:45am)

she shouldve phone the polis by axis_of_elvis (Wed 11th Aug 2021 4:02pm)

keep it and slowy build a car out of the parts? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 16th Aug 2021 2:42am)

do you have a gas safety certificate for the boiler? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 17th Aug 2021 1:03pm)

what do you have to re pot? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 18th Aug 2021 1:54pm)

yeh. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 18th Aug 2021 7:14pm)

bought a 70's strat at merchant city for 499 in the 90's sold it for 2000 recently, good luck. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 19th Aug 2021 9:30pm)

i love these threads, red onion now on my glasgow list. theres an amazing italien i found on here called la laterna, went with family, need to go on my own to truly appreciate it, the menu all wants eaten. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 20th Aug 2021 7:16pm)

https://lalanterna-glasgow.co.uk/menus/a-la-carte-menu feast your eyes on this, the problem is making your mind up as you will want a little of every dish. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 20th Aug 2021 7:24pm)

was reading the reviews and thought, that sounds nice, untill Response from the owner4 months ago 'Terrorise pedestrians, residents and other road users, flout Highway Code and disregard basic safety, courtesy and road rules, causing havoc wherever they see fit because they think they're above the law and more important than other people'.. There, fixed that for you 👍 Nice, responsible people populating roads these days - you still using stabilisers? Have a nice day now 😃 by axis_of_elvis (Sun 22nd Aug 2021 4:38am)

the butchers sell haggis slice by axis_of_elvis (Sun 22nd Aug 2021 3:31pm)

no mummy, not the greenock y-fronts, "yell put on the greenock y-fronts untill ye learn how tae behave." by axis_of_elvis (Mon 23rd Aug 2021 10:20am)

thats for the purge so greenokians cant escape. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Aug 2021 11:05am)

they have better hash by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Aug 2021 11:16am)

the heroine, you wont look back. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 24th Aug 2021 5:16pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGzcixzB4J0 jaqueline mcafferty by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Aug 2021 1:25am)

crocketts the ironmongers used to have loads by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Aug 2021 2:56pm)

dear god. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 25th Aug 2021 3:54pm)

WANgwan? kurWAN? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Aug 2021 2:06am)

dont dae it, see them leather sofas going at it, ok if you like leather sofa weans but....... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 26th Aug 2021 6:22pm)

time travel, birds understand quantum mechanics and can slip in and out of time on a whim. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 27th Aug 2021 5:06pm)

it pays also to get yourself a mimo antenna and mount it with best line of sight of the tower. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Aug 2021 3:57am)

dogging by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Aug 2021 11:23am)

go down the park and get thenakedey by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Aug 2021 11:08pm)

you need to install the BackMook app, this lets you time travel to before the accident. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 29th Aug 2021 11:12pm)

yer mws testiculat fortuitude. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 12:06am)

carbon filter and inline fan from the grow shop, i have one on my table, it stops my house smelling of smoke. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 9:06am)

well the bigger the better, trick is to get a massive one and one of the fancy speed controlled fans, then you can turn it right down and its quiet, if you have some pals round smoking joints you can turn it right up to clear the room. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 1:46pm)

yeh, its mental, getting help is hard, you present and look normal and say i need help, not much help, take your clothes off, smear yourself in peanut butter and try to sacrifice yourself to the pigeon gods, drugs, lots of drugs. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 5:39pm)

swing is fun by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 5:40pm)

like in your buttcrack by axis_of_elvis (Mon 30th Aug 2021 5:45pm)

how many kidneys and is your liver function good? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Sep 2021 10:53am)

getting decent weed is hard. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Sep 2021 8:17pm)

is this the scottish rave scene? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 3:07am)

sex aids or normal aids? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 3:05am)

dear god, so you only have to hear a cock plunging into someone or hear IV drug use and then you get AIDS fucking future man, its mental out there. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 4:21am)

you want to go to the sticks like aberfeldy or somewhere, the farmers like a wee shindig. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 4:19am)

rolling the pastry, rolling the pastry. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 4:31am)

pure wiping my screen here, is that a bug? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 2nd Sep 2021 4:54am)

you ever had dinner in the trout inn? its pretty pleasant out that way. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Sep 2021 6:18am)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_FFqihSVeo by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Sep 2021 2:37pm)

high aspirations in this thread. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Sep 2021 2:41pm)

dig up garden add membrane, hey presto, wildlife pond. thank me later when the frogs arrive by axis_of_elvis (Sun 5th Sep 2021 3:04pm)

does blochairn market do stalls? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 5th Sep 2021 3:05pm)

what guitar was it? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Sep 2021 1:13pm)

up by skegglemabogle by axis_of_elvis (Tue 7th Sep 2021 3:34pm)

it was the east kilbride home improvements van by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Sep 2021 3:25am)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07VBCFWVW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 i bait the switch with peanut butter and also put a bottle cap filled with water in there, they are attracted to water, plus they might be in there overnight so its nice for them if they get thirsty, also i monitor them with one of these. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01FDHE79E/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Sep 2021 11:45am)

if you like wildlife you could go to greenock, they have a live safari park. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 13th Sep 2021 12:09pm)

what is dry rot? i thought that was a wet thing by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th Sep 2021 5:40pm)

is it bad for you? do the spores mess you up? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 14th Sep 2021 5:52pm)

oh shit, pure shite. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Sep 2021 11:20pm)

50 quis is 50 quid though by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Sep 2021 3:14am)

the end bit got creepy, if gym is a front for a knocking shop.......... by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Sep 2021 3:13am)

was leaving glasgow centrl and got propositioned there, i was looking for chips, so i asked her what she was offering, she read me a huge list of sex things,, then i said do you do chips ahm starvin. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Sep 2021 3:20am)

this is what happens when you marry your sister by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Sep 2021 10:29am)

check your feet mate, pure honkin by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Sep 2021 6:47pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvJcQY4kJXk make by axis_of_elvis (Sat 25th Sep 2021 2:34am)

see woos later by axis_of_elvis (Sun 26th Sep 2021 4:51pm)

are those street legal? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 3rd Oct 2021 3:31pm)

how much is an ounce these days? by axis_of_elvis (Tue 5th Oct 2021 5:33am)

get a tent and a clothes iron, you may have to refill it a few times though. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 5th Oct 2021 2:10pm)

the bingo by axis_of_elvis (Wed 6th Oct 2021 8:05am)

schmell them, schmell yer maws hot wings, fat dripping aff them like a rotisserie. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 6th Oct 2021 9:02am)

found the cowboy by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 5:25pm)

yes thats right, the cowboy by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 7:53pm)

they were fly tipping, are you justifying fly tipping, what about blocking the drains? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 8:09pm)

you dirty bastard, some folks have disabilities by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 9:30pm)

DELETED just had scottish power out to fit new cables as there was no earth, the new boxes appear sealed so cant check what has tripped, we self factor so who do we call in this instance, cheers. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 10:06pm)

thanks bud by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 10:24pm)

im autistic ,cunt chops, wind in your arrogant ego you look like a complete fool. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 7th Oct 2021 10:35pm)

ooh you got me, *walks the dinasaur* by axis_of_elvis (Fri 8th Oct 2021 6:45am)

how high is your IQ out of interest? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 8th Oct 2021 10:46am)

poor lad is dyslexic, he thought his job was dog wanking by axis_of_elvis (Sat 9th Oct 2021 9:59pm)

only round eye in whole place, you just know its authentic. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 10th Oct 2021 6:07am)

toxoplasmosis by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Oct 2021 8:44am)

dogging? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Oct 2021 8:50am)

anti-vax by axis_of_elvis (Mon 11th Oct 2021 7:34pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hfZqbZtT6E by axis_of_elvis (Wed 13th Oct 2021 8:10am)

i like the shops that have slushies by axis_of_elvis (Sat 16th Oct 2021 11:58am)

chip shop across from the station has a big chunky haggis by axis_of_elvis (Sun 17th Oct 2021 8:27am)

about 30 years by axis_of_elvis (Tue 19th Oct 2021 7:47pm)

yep, pretty stinky, i love them. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Oct 2021 12:51am)

fish people sound good! by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Oct 2021 9:03am)

cheers by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Oct 2021 9:03am)

you would think it was surstromming the way some people dont like it. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Oct 2021 11:22am)

would be really funny if the extra density caused the whole thing to fall into a giant hole by axis_of_elvis (Thu 21st Oct 2021 5:37pm)

would be funny if lockdown happened in the middle of COP, escape from glasgow the movie. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 23rd Oct 2021 5:15am)

easy peasy, block the roads into the site with a convoy of bikes, make them walk in. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 25th Oct 2021 12:02pm)

you should still have the same rights, id have to look it up though. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 25th Oct 2021 12:08pm)

hijack, i have a disabled black moor, swim bladder is broke and its been swimming on the bottom for ages, its dorsal fin is always up so i think its happy enough, should i euthanise it? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 25th Oct 2021 12:11pm)

me too by axis_of_elvis (Tue 26th Oct 2021 12:35pm)

set the fucking thing on fire by axis_of_elvis (Tue 26th Oct 2021 9:55pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSjzOYmFIsg by axis_of_elvis (Fri 29th Oct 2021 3:44am)

if buds smell of unnatural terps or distillate its a clue, bud gets rinsed and stuff gets sprayed on and gets sold, its like recycling but bad. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 29th Oct 2021 8:22pm)

yes, you may want to weigh your sim , then remove it and place it in the baggies to keep it dry. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 30th Oct 2021 5:06am)

greggs used to do a chees and onion slice, it had potato mashed as the main filler, was nice, not anymore. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 6th Nov 2021 5:09pm)

if you leave a pail of water out thy lay eggs in it. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 9th Nov 2021 4:42am)

is aoc on of the american wrestler heroes? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 10th Nov 2021 5:54pm)

had the most sloppy flalfel i have ever had here, had to take it back for a refund, he got real crazy with me, so i got real crazy back. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 12th Nov 2021 6:39pm)

u sure thats a foot mr? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 13th Nov 2021 8:02am)

yeh, what hat shop? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 13th Nov 2021 8:59am)

in israel he runs the football scarf shop by axis_of_elvis (Sun 14th Nov 2021 1:21pm)

best kebab by axis_of_elvis (Mon 15th Nov 2021 10:44pm)

shhhhh, not on reddit by axis_of_elvis (Thu 18th Nov 2021 2:57am)

flasher man, flasher man, they cant catch him cos he is beige like a flan, flasher man he flashed his gran, she flashed him back wie a frying pan. flasher man, flashers man, dinna dinna dinna dinna, flasher man. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 18th Nov 2021 4:23am)

yeh, hippies these days by axis_of_elvis (Thu 18th Nov 2021 5:10pm)

sounds like he is buying it in at 56% and cutting it down to 38%, what a robber. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 19th Nov 2021 12:25pm)

you could play the mous catching game with an ir camera, its fun. by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Nov 2021 5:43am)

the double lives some folks lead eh? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Nov 2021 5:45am)

if you get decent footage youtube will end up paying you money to catch mice lol by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Nov 2021 7:33am)

barred exept for your maw by axis_of_elvis (Sat 20th Nov 2021 3:20pm)

covidy? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 21st Nov 2021 5:24pm)

cosy sounds kinda close together. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 21st Nov 2021 5:49pm)

those are quite pricey, careful you dont get ripped off. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 23rd Nov 2021 10:44am)

im autistic, i dint think anyone will ever hire me. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 23rd Nov 2021 3:20pm)

http://www.accordion.co.uk/ this shop is in bellshill, they would know a lot about them and they do repairs and stuff. 1 Belgrave St, Bellshill ML4 3NP by axis_of_elvis (Tue 23rd Nov 2021 4:21pm)

the weed can be a bit samey by axis_of_elvis (Fri 26th Nov 2021 12:03am)

ten bag and a spoon by axis_of_elvis (Sat 27th Nov 2021 6:38pm)

depends on the bath salts, he could get you the ones that make you hallucinate penguins for days on end by axis_of_elvis (Sat 27th Nov 2021 6:40pm)

are you on pip? being on pip means you can now apply to your local council https://www.north-ayrshire.gov.uk/roads-and-travel/concessionary-travel-for-older-and-disabled-people.aspx by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Nov 2021 6:23am)

i cook a normal pizza, then when its finished i fold it up and chop it into rolls,its kinda like this. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Nov 2021 11:36am)

is it for folks that have newly become women? or with the genetic predisposition? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Nov 2021 3:51pm)

whats it like? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Nov 2021 5:13pm)

yeh eat some vitamin d and stop batin so much, you need the zinc. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 29th Nov 2021 5:12pm)

lol i know, was only enquiring as i may like to come along but i still have a penis so it might be weird. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 30th Nov 2021 5:27pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoGKi8AbqOA by axis_of_elvis (Wed 1st Dec 2021 12:51pm)

superglue by axis_of_elvis (Fri 3rd Dec 2021 2:29am)

would they have to place this "deposit" into the deposit holding scheme? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 4th Dec 2021 12:22am)

sei escluso da questo servizio, faccio sesso con tua madre by axis_of_elvis (Mon 6th Dec 2021 12:45pm)

hash bars, hash bars as far as the eye can see. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 6th Dec 2021 5:46pm)

DELETED best kebab pizza. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Dec 2021 4:23pm)

does he still do staggis? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Dec 2021 4:28pm)

just reading the reviews on google, nutter here, "There was a child's toe in my slice sausage! This is shocking and disgusting never go to this horrible place." thats pretty far out by axis_of_elvis (Wed 8th Dec 2021 4:35pm)

a scrap merchants? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Dec 2021 11:50am)

the space where no-one can hear you scream by axis_of_elvis (Thu 9th Dec 2021 3:42pm)

whats it like being 38? is it like 37 but wie mair or less hair? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 11th Dec 2021 4:01pm)

> “You heard this one?” <bonos a cunt , falls over.> > > “No. I was going to cunt. I took to the cover fuckbaws. I like the lavender.” > > The new girl glanced over the cover of the album quickly. > > “But you don’t see her face the fannybaws cunt. If she’s hiding her face, she must be ugly. Is she?” Cosima didn’t know what to say other than yer maw has great big hingy baws even greater than yer da. > > “But I suppose she sounds like something. What does she sound like the fat cow? Is the music for dancing? I’ve been looking for dancing.. Is her voice appealing?” > > “Tell you when I know.” > > “Alright.” > > “Have you heard she’s from Glasgow?” Cosima said with a sting of nervousness ,her fanny pure reekin of last nights tadger. > > “No,” the new girl said as she hummed along to the bitter chorus. “Has it <the fanny> all gone to her head?” by axis_of_elvis (Sat 11th Dec 2021 6:11pm)

dermestid maculatus, pick a corpse clean they will. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Dec 2021 1:29pm)

i think both are bad to inhale by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Dec 2021 1:28pm)

vagrant, pepsi is the ideal pairing for an islay. by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Dec 2021 4:51pm)

to tears i would hope by axis_of_elvis (Sun 12th Dec 2021 4:50pm)

aulds? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 13th Dec 2021 5:37pm)

we were milked by thatcher as children. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Dec 2021 3:31am)

thats enough, out. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 15th Dec 2021 3:30am)

the indoor bowling and elephant farm are also normal. they breed elephants up there at arse oclock every weekend. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Dec 2021 11:54am)

thats the swimming pool by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Dec 2021 11:55am)

its the perma disco, it keeps reality alive, extacy and lsd from eastern europe are channeled here so that 1% of all humanity are so loved up that god disnay destroy us wie spacerocks. its the roof hump,maist posh cunts dont know about this essential universal job. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 16th Dec 2021 5:18pm)

u trying to get elected? by axis_of_elvis (Sat 18th Dec 2021 9:43am)

lucky hole by axis_of_elvis (Wed 22nd Dec 2021 3:06am)

no problems here, had a next day delivery come in a day. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 22nd Dec 2021 3:58pm)

get drunk, fall asleep , get woken up by fireworks. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Dec 2021 6:07am)

wash yer baws by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Dec 2021 11:38am)

awww bless, cheers! happy nu year. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 24th Dec 2021 3:16pm)

chung ying sell gyoza by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 6:11am)

i mean full sugar. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 7:42pm)

is your username an oxymoron? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 8:09pm)

can you read properly? or are you just being hostile, post says decent lemonade without sweetners, i know my spellings pish but come on. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 8:09pm)

sir you have just painted me with your semen while dressed as elvis, i think you need to get out more. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 8:25pm)

i do sometimes, i worry about how much anti fungals could be in the rind though as i know they spray them, is a simple wash enough? by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 8:47pm)

elvis was a pedo by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 8:46pm)

i only wanted a juice mr by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 9:33pm)

the best lemonade uses rind, loads of flavour minerals and vits in the rind. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 29th Dec 2021 10:48pm)

wild lemonade by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 12:19am)

thats the polis isnt it? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 9:29am)

aha, the rubber room, boing. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 10:08am)

i bet the kids were happy when you gave them cider for breakfast. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 1:11pm)

cider in america is cloudy apple juice, cider here is booze. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 2:08pm)

because you got confuses about lemonade upon coming here from the southb usa? by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 2:16pm)

mountain dew was pretty awesome in the 90's by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 2:22pm)

sprite is horrible now in the uk, it has no flavour at all. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 7:13pm)

dont know why you were downvoted, great comment, i voted you back up. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 30th Dec 2021 7:12pm)

paw mumped by axis_of_elvis (Sat 1st Jan 2022 4:56am)

if you tap the bus your after on the app it brings up a live map with the bus on it. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th Jan 2022 8:50am)

might have semen mixed in as well. by axis_of_elvis (Thu 6th Jan 2022 5:48pm)

a lassie took me up here in her car when i was 15 by axis_of_elvis (Sun 9th Jan 2022 11:49pm)

i mind davey brockett giving it hot metal. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 10th Jan 2022 2:42am)

my house looks like a beer student by axis_of_elvis (Mon 10th Jan 2022 8:05pm)

paging u/iwankdogs by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Jan 2022 2:24am)

look on facebook for local hairdressers that do house visits? or buy your own clippers, im autistic and cut mine, she might not want a baldy though lol. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Jan 2022 5:03pm)

pretend you have the skills and have fun with it? eventually after much sadness skills will follow. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 11th Jan 2022 7:37pm)

les porter from yoker does home visits. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 12th Jan 2022 7:20pm)

she start off with the handjob by axis_of_elvis (Thu 13th Jan 2022 1:15pm)

you dont want to see what she does to the deep tissues...... by axis_of_elvis (Thu 13th Jan 2022 1:21pm)

water sprayer hooked up to motion sensor, paintball cannon? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th Jan 2022 4:07pm)

buy a lavvie pan wie a hole in the bottom and place it in his garden, take your morning shit there newspaper and all, lift lavvie pan and walk home. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 14th Jan 2022 4:10pm)

barnardos on wilson street maybe by axis_of_elvis (Sat 15th Jan 2022 5:15am)

tha barras market, there a wee guy wie a desk upstairs and a load of lists of atari st and amiga games, you pay your money and the runner goes off to copy it for you. i take it you are still using those floppy disk things? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 16th Jan 2022 3:18pm)

girl scout ones by axis_of_elvis (Mon 17th Jan 2022 9:12am)

wet by axis_of_elvis (Wed 19th Jan 2022 12:48pm)

prince died mate by axis_of_elvis (Thu 20th Jan 2022 9:54am)

did i remember to wash the bumhole.......WHOOOSHHHHH by axis_of_elvis (Thu 20th Jan 2022 6:11pm)

what is ebay? by axis_of_elvis (Mon 24th Jan 2022 2:00pm)

the farts of many small creatures. by axis_of_elvis (Mon 24th Jan 2022 2:37pm)

the wellfare standards of restaurant haggis has long been abysmal, the best way is to raise some pups yourself. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 25th Jan 2022 5:13pm)

i had a mad one like this, tried turning off all the power to no avail, turned out it was my cordless drill that had fallen over and the trigger was very slightly pressed and so was making a high pitched noise. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 26th Jan 2022 4:07am)

the pole is by axis_of_elvis (Mon 31st Jan 2022 2:35pm)

1 no 2depends if it is running an on demand function, ie it preheats so that you get hot water out the tap straight away otherewise it can take about 15 seconds to get hot water out the tap. 3no the central heating works on a separate loop on demand from the biler 4the reading is taken by the themostat itself, teperature would turn off at 20c by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Feb 2022 3:35pm)

when the other person "out walking the dog" flashed the light at you, you flash your light back, then a baby is made. either that or you get a load on your coupon. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 2nd Feb 2022 5:20pm)

whatever you want for a fiver. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Feb 2022 1:05am)

love a bit of phil collins by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Feb 2022 2:05am)

yea maan, firhill is safe for brown, green and white man! the blues are sometimes a bit dodgy so id avoid those. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Feb 2022 12:36pm)

ill wee on you for a tenner by axis_of_elvis (Fri 4th Feb 2022 3:10pm)

robot sex farm by axis_of_elvis (Tue 8th Feb 2022 7:03pm)

was trying to work out how to fit a best kebab in here. by axis_of_elvis (Wed 9th Feb 2022 4:56am)

sticky traps are banned now on account of cruelty by axis_of_elvis (Thu 10th Feb 2022 6:02am)

is there a pupation phase? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 11th Feb 2022 2:33pm)

someone should do an attenborough voicover. by axis_of_elvis (Fri 11th Feb 2022 5:09pm)

what do the wallabies do in the winter? by axis_of_elvis (Sun 13th Feb 2022 7:48am)

some of elons junk deorbiting? by axis_of_elvis (Fri 18th Feb 2022 4:01am)

https://www.turningpointscotland.com/autism/ by axis_of_elvis (Mon 21st Feb 2022 6:29pm)

sealskins gloves are nice and warm. by axis_of_elvis (Tue 22nd Feb 2022 6:18pm)

they been removing loads recently by axis_of_elvis (Tue 22nd Feb 2022 6:17pm)

flemmel weffer its one of those weird german child toys by axis_of_elvis (Mon 28th Feb 2022 3:39am)