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Short_mil_90

Reddit URLhttps://www.reddit.com/user/Short_mil_90
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  • We actually self factor, so unfortunately there is not a "neutral party" to step in. We have been paying for repairs and a cleaner for the shared spaces as needed. We are the last flat to have moved in, but our neighbour (E) across the way does know the neighbour I mentioned above. I'll call her A for ease. E has approached A directly (as we all have at one point), and also sent her a letter providing her phone number and offering help with cleaning, shopping or to accompany her when social services visit, however A has refused this. She has never really been interested in speaking to me or my husband other than a hi in passing, sometimes if she is going out at the same time as us she actually closes the door to avoid speaking to us. This has been going on since moving in and I know she doesn't like to speak to the other neighbours much either. E and other neighbour L have spoken to her from time to time but they have lived here much longer, even then she is refusing to accept any help from them. We're all at a bit of a loss right now . . . by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 4:06pm)
  • >https://hdscotland.org/ Thank you for this! by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:29pm)
  • Thank you! by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:29pm)
  • Hi, Yes I have. They sent two people out to visit last week, but again she wouldn't answer the door to them. She shouted through to go away and wouldn't even open the door to speak to them. They tried a few times and then knocked my door to ask a few questions. Since then, I have noticed a few other people with lanyards and clipboards turn up, but none have been able to speak to her or access the flat. by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:28pm)
  • Thank you! I will definitely reach out to them, hopefully they will be more knowledgable and able to offer a bit more help than social workers. by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:26pm)
  • We have tried. Her son is at university and to be honest hasn't been overly helpful. The neighbour who knows her the most has offered to be in when they visit but she has refused. What's more difficult is that noone is told in advance when the visits are planned (as far as I know, they do have her sons details so maybe they do tell him?), so we never really know when someone is stopping by. As I work from home I tend to be the person in, but I don't actually know her too well so I'm not surprised having me around isn't something she would want. I did think one of the other neighbours would be able to support on this, but she refuses all entry when someone from social services or professional body turns up. I don't really know how to provide other support or what is available, I have been googling and trying my best to find help but unless you are related to them or a known carer it's actually quite difficult. We did help her between us, as neighbours, in the beginning, but her needs are now beyond what we're comfortable or feel appropriate doing. For example, there has been multiple times she has left her her door wide open and keys in the door after leaving to go out, previously if we saw this we would tidy up a little, close the door and lock it and leave her keys under the mat. She would also leave keys in the door when home so we would post them. Now if we do this she gets very confused and stressed, also the level of dirt and mess is beyond what I can stomach now (which I am aware is terrible, but I'm unable to continue to support to this level). She sometimes doesn't really make sense when speaking to her, and she is EXTREMELY defensive about the smoking or any time we bring up concerns - which we have always tried to do very gently. Her personal hygiene is very concerning, to the point I can actually smell her leaving the flat from my upstairs flat, it's not something that's easy to bring up even if it's from a place of genuine concern. I do feel like we need some professional help or someone who knows how to manage the situation/conversations, but we can't really force them to happen. It's all just so worrying for everyone. (Edit: clarity around keys) by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 5:52pm)
  • Welcome! In town there is Solid Rock near central station for pints if you like rock and alternative music. Slouch and Maggie Mays pretty good for music and Howlin Wolf or Box will often have changing live music on. There is also the club the Cathouse which has different levels with different pop punk, rock, metal, alternative music - I personally enjoy it, but I now feel super old when I go haha. Depending on the area you're moving to will give you a different "vibe" I would say. I live in Southside, right next to Queens Park. We have a lot of tiny bars and coffee shops, as well as a lot of Eastern European and Indian influenced shops, restaurants and cafes. I used to live in the West End, which I would say is kind of "hipster", and has a lot of more expensive and quirky bars and restaurants around. Lots of amazing Asian food that way! Unspoken rules . . . there probably is something to be said about picking football teams, but I don't think I'm qualified to comment on it. I don't have a team I support. But people are pretty passionate about their clubs here. If you're not fussed about it I would say just to stay out of it (no offence meant to fans, 99% are lovely! but it has been known to cause rows for some people). For the most part, I think everyone is pretty friendly and it's a fun place to live with lots to do! by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 6:29pm)
  • Thank you. The last thing we want is for anything to be enforced, but it is really clear that she is struggling to manage on her own. I really hope someone she trusts is able to help before it gets to the stage she is unable to do this, her mental and physical state does seem to be declining rapidly. Her son does come visit from time to time, and he has cleaned up before and tried to tell her she can't leave her door open or keys in the door (it's impossible not to hear stairway convos in our old building!), but when he goes back to university she is left alone again. Also, last time he was here it seemed like an extremely short visit, and it was due to us asking him to come because we were worried. We know she has a sister, but unfortunately don't know too much about her. Thank you for your comments. by Short_mil_90 (Thu 7th Apr 2022 6:35pm)
  • I am concerned for her as a person, but it is now also effecting our properties due to the smell, mice and risk of fire. by Short_mil_90 (Fri 8th Apr 2022 9:55am)
  • Thank you for this. I've now submitted another AP1 with the updated information and the pictures a neighbour provided showing the current living conditions inside her flat. Hopefully this will show that she does need some assistance. I feel terrible as I can't imagine it's easy to accept help, and she may be embarrassed about people seeing her living conditions and speaking to her when she is aware her personal hygiene has really declined but we're extremely worried and I think we need professional help at this point. Another neighbour was able to speak to her and it seems she isn't taking any medication or seeing any healthcare/care representatives. I'm not a medical professional, so I can't really comment but I think she probably should have some sort of regular check ins or assistance even externally. by Short_mil_90 (Fri 8th Apr 2022 10:00am)
  • Another neighbour who has met the woman's sister has said the son is very much in denial about the whole thing. Which is very sad and extremely difficult. To be honest, I really don't want to be bothering him while he is off at university but at the same time I don't want to overstep. I've contacted him before to ask if it's ok for me to do certain things (general tidy up, dealing with the keys etc on the occasions she has went out and left her door wide open), at first he was thankful but now he seems like he doesn't want us involved. I can completely appreciate that, but we are all just so concerned. Another issue is that he was extremely aggressive towards his mum when he lived here, we used to hear really loud screaming rows over nothing (so loud we could hear the topic of the row - things like ordering the wrong food from the takeaway). More than once the police were called because the flat above were so concerned. I imagine he is having a hard time dealing with this and none of us want to put this on him. Now we have the sisters details I think a neighbour has been speaking to her, but she doesn't live nearby and I think it's difficult to get here. I really would like some support for the son also, as he seems to not want to talk about it or even admit there is an issue I think he might benefit from someone to help him through it. Hopefully the charities will help. For clarity, we actually didn't know she had Huntingtons disease initially, it was thought she may have had a stroke at some stage. It was the sister who informed one of the other neighbours when she met her in the stairway. We haven't expressed to the son we know this as the sister made it quite clear he doesn't talk about it. by Short_mil_90 (Fri 8th Apr 2022 10:20am)
  • I have submitted another AP1 and have added in that we have now been made aware that she has Huntington's, so hopefully that will help the situation. Planning to call one of the charities on my lunch today to see if they have any other advice. by Short_mil_90 (Fri 8th Apr 2022 10:25am)
  • **UPDATE:** She has now locked herself out of her flat, and even refusing us offering her a chair to sit on while she waits. We have managed to get in touch with her son and it turns out these were actually his keys as she had already lost hers. I knew she was struggling with keys but this is the first time there hasn't been anyone with a spare to let her in and get a new one cut. Locksmith is on the way. I have submitted an AP referral with the updated info and asked that my neighbours do the same. We have also managed to speak to the sister but she keeps asking us to call our neighbours son, which hasn't been overly helpful. She did inform us that she helped her shower etc on Friday, but it seems that she may have issues going to the bathroom or cleaning herself after :( so her hygiene is still an issue. I am hoping that social work can help following the referrals. Speaking to charities they seemed surprised that she does not take any medication or has some sort of support based on her condition, but obviously I was unable to talk through any medical history or give any information about healthcare referrals. They haven't been able to offer much additional advice or support at the moment as I'm not a relative and she is refusing help. Thank you for your advice all. I really hope it works out. by Short_mil_90 (Tue 12th Apr 2022 5:27pm)
  • if you like street food and warehouse type vibes, check out Platform in city centre and Dockyard Social in West End :) by Short_mil_90 (Tue 12th Apr 2022 5:55pm)
  • That seems like it could be the case as someone else has said. Very strange! But at least that sounds controlled and not something that is going to be a frequent occurance - hopefully haha by Short_mil_90 (Wed 13th Apr 2022 9:08pm)
  • That makes a lot of sense, thanks for the input! by Short_mil_90 (Wed 13th Apr 2022 9:07pm)
  • I couldn't say, I'm not a maw and I don't have Facebook by Short_mil_90 (Wed 13th Apr 2022 9:05pm)
  • I heard he was later spotted up the Finnieston Cran.... by Short_mil_90 (Wed 13th Apr 2022 9:09pm)
  • Hopefully it was nothing serious! by Short_mil_90 (Wed 13th Apr 2022 11:20pm)
  • I dont have Facebook unfortunately. But thanks for this! by Short_mil_90 (Mon 1st Aug 2022 1:10pm)