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The_Dildo_Detector

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Minor Injuries Unit or phone the GP as soon as they open and ask for a same day appointment by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Oct 2019 10:49am)

difference in the west end is cunts will be doing wheelies wi a fuckin unicycle by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Oct 2019 5:47pm)

People from Edinburgh can't be trusted to give you an honest opinion about anything, they're too busy sucking on Boris Johnson's arse through a novelty bagpipe set and pretending that being a post colonial toff haven is some form of culture. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 6th Sep 2021 11:02am)

I wonder if the extensive roadworks etc increase the likelihood of rodent reports considering they tend to disturb existing rodents into moving into nearby houses. Anyone near the Western when it first got pulled down knows what I mean - thirty new flatmates and not one of them chipped in for the toilet roll by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 20th Sep 2021 12:20pm)

goths? by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 12:36pm)

To be fair the mods here are some absolute newton mearns VLs, so it's not wonder they are such bellends by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 12:35pm)

Susan Aitken needs to stop focusing on turning the city into a film studio and actually try fix all the fucking problems either exacerbated or caused by her council. 'Wee Ned with a Spraypaint tin' isn't the reason the city is rife with mice, rats, and the most destructive vermin ever seen - Glasgow City Councillors by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 1:31pm)

Do you understand how you could be seen as a bit of a smug and ignorant prick because of your post? You don't require your motor for anything, no weans, no driving to work, nothing, but you are judging a population through a kaleidoscope and coming to the conclusion they're idiots because your own situation and need doesn't reflect theirs. Take it you'll be getting the bus for your messages like the rest of us peasants until the crisis is over? Don't want to be a panic buying numpty. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 1:39pm)

It's easy to look at a large group of people all acting completely irrationally and call them idiots, but the problem is that the news in this country paints this bleak picture for dramatics and every single time it triggers panic in a large group of people who then manifest their own anxious destiny. While it's difficult not to get angry from the disruption and second hand embarrassment it causes when you see it in the news, it's probably very difficult for them to do anything else, it's like crowd collapse in that when you look at a large group and then panic them they behave in ways that are dangerous. Also don't worry, I'm not angry, and I hope you aren't either, I was just saying you could be seen as a smug prick for your comment, but I don't mean that in a bad way - I can come across as a bit of a smug and ignorant prick time to (*most of the) time also, it's not a reflection on you as a person but just the way your comment could be construed, at the end of the day we're all still stuck in the same mud. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 6:13pm)

you seriously have no idea how long I was trying to work out what type of dildo themed joke you meant when you said 'went out and filled up for nae reason' until i finally got what you meant also nah i've got a bus ticket, fuck paying for a motor, insurance, parking, and then petrol and maintenance on top of that when I can wait 5 mins at a stop at most, jump on the bus, flash my pass, have the maître d' dab my hands with some fresh rosewater, escort me to my leather recliner and signal the chauffeur with the bell when I must alight. Driving's a mugs game. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 28th Sep 2021 6:21pm)

West End is pretty bad for posh students talking too loud at night time walking up the road pished. You've got two choices - Ignore it, put earplugs in, etc. Or go to your bedroom window topless and start shoutin n bawling out the window at them. Pisses off all your neighbours tho so choose wisely. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Oct 2021 12:34pm)

St Enoch Centre - 2/5. Usually disgusting, weird lighting, too many hand dryers, cunts hang about the entrance like they're waiting on a discount. Any Wetherspoons - 2/5, apart from Counting House which gets 3/5 for size. Hotels - this is where you start to get a decent standard because they don't get as much public traffic. CitizenM - The ultimate shit throne in the city centre without par. Easy to get to if you know where they are, but out the way enough that you need to be bold. Individual toilet rooms instead of cubicles, posh soap, hand towels, nobody bothers you whatsoever, always spotless. If at any point you are paying money to use the toilet you've failed - Pubs outside the train stations are free and usually cleaned better. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 11th Oct 2021 3:33pm)

Comments here are atrocious - A guy trying to teach his son to defend himself and the response here is exclusively from milquetoast middle class wallopers who suggest leaving it to the school to sort. Get a fuckin grip, only thing that ever works against bullies is a slap. This subreddit is like the fucking Mearns Mums facebook page, absolute disgrace by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 15th Oct 2021 10:29am)

CafeZique used to do the best breakfast in the city, but they've changed to a new menu that seems more Asian inspired and I haven't tried it. They used to do better Cullen Skink than you can get in bloody Cullen by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 27th Oct 2021 11:19am)

Aye the stuff in the first week seems catered for kids, lots of wee science and engineering workshops aimed at young people, have a check on https://ukcop26.org/the-conference/green-zone-programme-of-events/ As one of the other posters said tickets go back on sale on the 31st (although I don't know the price if there is one or if its first come first get tickets just for numbers). Second week seems to have more academic inclined talks, but have a check on the programme above! by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 27th Oct 2021 4:19pm)

Making alcohol more expensive increases the strain on A&E for withdrawal effects. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 1:31pm)

Fuck Extinction Rebellion. They constantly create elaborate pageantry to get attention to an issue everycunt is already well aware of. They make no hard asks, just that the government 'do something'. In the process they create art installations to irritate and attract likeminded people (i.e. middle class cunts with no real priorities they need to look after). I say this as a rabid environmentalist who thinks we need to drastically alter the world to preserve it. Middle Class Preaching does nothing to help any issue except alienate the working class who don't have time for their shite. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 2:38pm)

Majority of recycling in the UK ends up in landfills or fires across the world. The Government have never created the appropriate infrastructure, they just send it across the world. People complain about littering in Glasgow but putting it in the bin or recycling is just as bad, it just ends up littering someone else's country. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 3:29pm)

Wouldn't make a difference anyway. Too many people feel self satisfied at having 'done my bit' when all they've done is brush the problem under some other cunts bed. Problem is there's not much we can do, holding the UK Gov or the Scot Gov to any account is like try to pin an eel to a bouncy castle with jelly screws by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 5:16pm)

Your reply made me smile because I did walk into that one. You're right in that they have the right idea, but so far what has making a nuisance in public accomplished? Stricter laws in regards to protests, US have painted socialist and environmentalist activists as terrorist actions, and pissed off the working class to no end. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 5:56pm)

How would you judge the effectiveness? My main problem with it is that it isn't effective from what I can see, but obviously I could be missing a lot. If you're right and it is effective then I completely retract my entire argument, and I'll get a wee high vis on and lie across the roads anaw by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 28th Oct 2021 6:26pm)

Fuck off - Reading through your comments on other shit is embarrassing, sit doon and shut the fuck up wee man, nobody takes threats from a wee fanny who spends his time on tiktok and youtube seriously, and don't ask stupid fucking questions by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 29th Oct 2021 12:10pm)

Fuck up and stop embarrassing yourself, even the way you use slang makes you look like a wee fud that lives closer to a Waitrose than an actual scheme. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 29th Oct 2021 1:30pm)

'Remember to Plan Well in Advance' Would help if you told us all the fucking roads you're cancelling with more than a few days notice fuck sake by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 29th Oct 2021 5:21pm)

Shut up, fanny. Cunts setting off fireworks at 2am is total walloper behaviour, fuck your celebration by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 10:13am)

Fully behind the bin men strike - They put in a fair graft and their work is absolutely essential, which is the complete opposite of the clowns that run the council. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 10:23am)

I think standard practice is add a 10% gratuity to the bill for tables over 6 or over 100 quid. I think. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 10:20am)

Don't be a classist wank telling cunts who do essential work how to speak while on the job. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 10:29am)

Aye it's dishonest as fuck, and I think you're right that it just goes to the manager. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 10:30am)

Who fucking cares mate, cunts lives are hard enough without wee wank jobsworths on reddit moaning about the language they use because they want their weans to grow up and blend in with the rest of the toffs. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 11:26am)

Got referred by therapist who was concerned about ADHD affecting work and causing stress. Got referred to the Arndale Resource Centre in the Drum. It was a total waste of time, seen by a russian psychiatry mid level doctor who answered her phone and argued with the cunts fitting glass at her flat over prices for ten mins, in the middle of asking me how I'd kill myself. Basically told me if I wasn't in and out the jail then I was 'wasting her time' and they 'wouldn't be giving me any drugs'. Absolute joke. My only advice would be - Don't take their fucking shite, cunts are only in it for a paycheck so fight your own corner and don't let them dismiss you. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 1:00pm)

Thank you for such an apt description. I thought it was just my curmudgeonly disposition that read the above as 'load of pretentious shite', but your comment reassured me I was normal by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 4:35pm)

Don't listen to the people on here complain about 'unsafe areas'. Unfortunately this subreddit sometimes is quite classist and that's a typical complaint from such people. Statistically you'll be pretty safe in Glasgow wherever you are. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 1st Nov 2021 4:44pm)

you're a walloper but your replies have me howlin by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 8:37am)

Absolute joke, entire meeting is fucking stupid, a continual procession of useless cunts paraded about the world complaining we need to fix the problem while only worsening it themselves. Can't wait for the next stage of the propaganda train 'sorry for all the problems we caused in your city, plebs, we promise to never do it again' by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 8:44am)

Aye there's even a presentation by Unilever about plastic waste. The same cunts that produce the vast majority of disposable plastic packaged goods, including the CFC deodorants we only just got them to stop using. Forgive me my cynicism, but the best thing the lot of them could do for climate change is build themselves a wee space ship and fly into the sun by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 9:48am)

away back on your unicycle by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 10:01am)

Thing that annoys me is all the plastic covered paper on every fucking lamppost in the city centre talking about how much we're recycling. Same with the Scottish Elections, fucking plastic covered paper everywhere and not one of those thick bastards in Government understands the irony - Political Pamphlets are not necessary, country would be better run by three junkies paid in stamps than these overpaid and underactive clowns by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 10:39am)

To give the police some credit (especially considering the amount of London police in force) they haven't kidnapped, raped, and murdered anyone we know of yet. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 1:17pm)

Respectfully I would disagree and tell you to get a fucking grip. It's different if it's a term with historically harmful use, but if your knickers get in a twist because somebody calls you a weegie you need to reconfigure your priorities and get off twitter. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 1:24pm)

Perfect climate change analogy, happy to talk about change, unhappy about the work to get there! by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 1:25pm)

Shut up Alec your Alba party was a joke by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 2nd Nov 2021 1:37pm)

The making of a megastructure: architectural modernism, town planning and Cumbernauld’s central area, 1955-75 - John Gold. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Nov 2021 11:09am)

because it's nice once in a while to type the way you talk rather than end up typing a queens english version, also the contexts and tones are very different - compare for example 'what are you saying?' vs 'wit you sayin?' which have very different tones which come across differently. Ultimately using as much varying language as possible in text gets across more of the tone intended. Anyone who doesn't like it is just a snob whose ma n da didn't allow them to talk like the 'riff raff' by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Nov 2021 11:31am)

Would be better if they didnae do it altogether. Why do we need a reminder of political promises every five feet? Same with the campaign leaflets, don't need them and don't want them. If I wanted to receive a book of fiction sent through my door every month I'd sign up for a fucking bookclub. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Nov 2021 2:53pm)

No joke I have seen a guy on a unicycle firing up Byres Road with no hands by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 4th Nov 2021 9:16am)

Judging by the queues at the Blue Zone the Green Zone is likely to be rammed by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 5th Nov 2021 10:16am)

Council only resists lighting up the park because then they'd need to find new after hours hunting grounds by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 5th Nov 2021 10:27am)

To translate - 'You are a heartless arsehole and I hope that you don't get raped and end up blamed for it by some sexist wankstain on reddit' by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 16th Nov 2021 8:18pm)

nup got turned into viper but i think thats shut anaw noo by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 16th Nov 2021 8:23pm)

love how they thought it was notable he had a bottle of lucozade with his dna on it in his hoose by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 20th Nov 2021 7:43pm)

There was literally just a vintage games market in Bellahouston Leisure Centre at the weekend exactly what you're looking for. If you're able to go out to Stevenston there's a big retro games shop there - It's Unit 23, Magbiehill Park, Dunlop Road, Stewarton, KA3 3DX. Was talking to owner on Sat at his stall, sound guy. Good to see there's still some interest! by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 23rd Nov 2021 4:24pm)

Also the classic issue of - NHS number comes up as spam and some people's phones autoblock the call putting you straight to their voicemail and leaving no record to the patient you've called. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 23rd Nov 2021 5:46pm)

Wasn't a huge selection of older stuff a lot of PS3/Xbox 360 and onwards games on sale. Decent selection of PS1 games, seen a Master System 2 on sale also by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 24th Nov 2021 10:05am)

You writing a list for buzzfeed aye? Fuck off by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 26th Nov 2021 8:48am)

They're for the collector, he comes in the night by The_Dildo_Detector (Sun 28th Nov 2021 6:21pm)

No point in panic - No data to suggest it's any more dangerous to the vaccinated than any other variant by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 29th Nov 2021 10:51am)

Aye, important to hopefully reduce the spread to our more vulnerable family members who perhaps can't get the vaccine for medical reasons. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 29th Nov 2021 11:51am)

It's complicated. We live in an area in which for the longest time deprivation was the norm, so higher rates of alcohol excess, long term smoking, rec drug use, and poor diet with low amounts of fresh veg and high amounts of processed meats and complex carbs. Combine these in various degrees and you have the perfect conditions for heart disease, t2 diabetes, COPD, liver disease, etc. The reason we're unhappier however is quite simple - Because the world is fucking miserable and aw the rest of the posh cunts whose thrones are too high to sit waist deep in sewage have stuck up their noses so they can't smell the stench by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 29th Nov 2021 11:55am)

1. Download Google Maps 2. Greggs is not for cunts that need to read the menu before they order, know what you want and don't make everycunt hate you. 3. Know when match days are for Parkhead and Ibrox. Plan around these. 4. If someone talks to you, don't ignore them. 5. Leave a review for your visit to the city under the title of 'Susan Aitken's Rat Palace' on tripadvisor by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 29th Nov 2021 1:50pm)

Alternate poll question - How many times this year have you had to answer a poll because some wee fud can't assert himself in the real world? by The_Dildo_Detector (Sun 5th Dec 2021 7:24pm)

Aye it's definitely frustrating, guy behind me needed the toilet the whole time as well, nearest was St Enoch but he was worried he'd miss his appointment if he went and the queue started moving quick, hope he's not still waiting... by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 6th Dec 2021 6:54pm)

Clyde are one of the worst for taking the piss with the deposit - Parasites trying to suck the blood from the landlord/tenant arrangement by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 10th Dec 2021 9:01am)

she's got a face like a dug licking pish aff a nettle by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 11th Dec 2021 8:51pm)

Sorry, was practicing my throat singing by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Dec 2021 11:21am)

It's a posh letting agent now, shame by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Dec 2021 1:20pm)

Aye a definite shame, whenever I popped in to swatch their magic cards they had a lot of punters clearly having a good time, now it's somewhere to milk foreign students for overpriced shitholes by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Dec 2021 1:29pm)

There's a guy up the barras that sells them, if you go up on a Saturday you can't miss him, he's the guy with the ostriches. Says he keeps like 50 of them now, used to keep doos but somebody put a complaint in with the landlord about the noise so he had to move down to Troon and he thought he'd expand his selection. Goes by the name Kenny Ostrich but I don't think it's his actual name. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Dec 2021 10:29pm)

The pictures of the serpentine queues waiting for the blue zone weren't exactly inspiring in regards to infection control. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 14th Dec 2021 3:41pm)

went to copenhagen recently, same weather, bit more windy, they eat loads of pork, drink tons, but every single person was like a 6 and a half foot adonis. I blame Thatcher obviously by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 14th Dec 2021 8:16pm)

Bistro on Sauchiehall St next to Life. The spice mix on the chicken donner is a closely guarded secret but is imo the best in the city. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 15th Dec 2021 3:05pm)

There was a double blind well cited study from Harvard Medical that showed that specifically eating chicken donner, chips, and cheese between the hours of 3 and 4am on a Saturday in the temperate Glaswegian climate contributed almost twice the prophylactic bacteria found in Greek Yoghurt and nearly ten times the amount of chicken, so perhaps you don't know what you're talking about it's perfectly healthy. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 15th Dec 2021 6:19pm)

That same place within a bawhair of the west end would easily be 1300, absolutely shocking atm by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 16th Dec 2021 12:30pm)

when did you start renting? I was 950 just off byres road in 2017 by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 16th Dec 2021 2:19pm)

Not sure why you were downvoted, that's interesting info, how does Boston match up vs the rest of the US? What would this cost in say Kansas city? by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 17th Dec 2021 10:41am)

That's Fivo, he's hilarious, his insta is hawaii_fivo by The_Dildo_Detector (Sun 19th Dec 2021 11:55pm)

You're not in your right mind when you feel like this, it might feel like you're finally just being honest with yourself, but you're not, you're wallowing in despair and that's not only addictive, but shapes how you think and feel about everything else. Good news though, it does get better. Give yourself a break until Spring when the light and the life starts to return and it will help a wee bit, but the main help is changing how you think and not thinking like every wee failure is the end of your life, it's not, most cunts are total failures as well but there's a big community for us and we have good food and plenty of tonic wine by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 21st Dec 2021 10:51am)

Aye well done mate you've cracked the case, somebody's pretending on reddit they've got problems with their carpet in a big conspiracy to bring back the Holy Roman Empire, fs leave cunts alone mate you're the one that's at it by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 30th Dec 2021 8:27pm)

Edinburgh Zoo is a decent shout, the volunteers do a lot of animal handling as they bring various animals to and from the talks by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 31st Dec 2021 10:47am)

I'd watch yourself, nearly every cunt in that area is armed with a vegetable mandolin and a creme brulee torch and that Tinderbox is basically their supply camp, that pillar goes down and your scalp is gonna end up patching a hole in a Chesterfield sofa by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 31st Dec 2021 10:45am)

It's gray, everybody's got jackets on, no as many people as the summer, water dripping off roofs from the rain by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 31st Dec 2021 1:54pm)

See these fuckin 'books', back in ma day you never had this new technology, you had to go up and ask people to sing to you the old stories, god forbid having to interact with a human in any setting. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 31st Dec 2021 1:53pm)

Brothers on Byres Road does a haircut + beard trim for 37.50 - bit pricey but they are better than any the wee 10 spot turkish barbers by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 3rd Jan 2022 6:32pm)

Went to GP, listened to my concerns, recommended starting a medication and sent a referral for CBT services, you get I think 8 hour long sessions, and to be honest it does feel like it helps. There's other services to look for help as well like LifeLink where you can self refer. I would say it has definitely helped me going to my GP because it kicked me into gear from go from suffering with it to dealing with it, and I am happier now. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 7th Jan 2022 10:22pm)

If you plan on getting into IT there's a decent amount of companies (big firms also) who have specialised IT offices in Glasgow. You should be absolutely fine! by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 7th Jan 2022 10:28pm)

Cheapest is swimming but honestly you're better off getting a ferry by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 19th Jan 2022 3:41pm)

It's not a matter of left/right wing. The council is a corrupt organisation who rip the cunt and give nothing back, regardless of what wee badge they stick on their coat. City centre's been on a rapid decline since the recession, with a lot of the big hitters no having the revenue to justify the big expensive shop rents. In an ideal world, the council stop being shitebags and actually get cunts telt - For example the absolute fuckin opera that is the Egyptian Halls, those fly bastards should have got the boot and the property seized a decade ago. The only cunts that survive in the city centre now are the money launderers because nobody else can afford the rents. Also don't think more globalisation like your US trade deal idea is gonna benefit us whatsoever. That's the SNPs great idea - Fucking sell the city to foreign landlords to build student flats and fuck the residents because they're all daft cunts that'll vote whatever they've been sold anyway by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 19th Jan 2022 4:06pm)

If you don't take any recommendations on following the first fire, it is entirely on the owners of the Art School that the fire happened, the only fortune being nobody lost their lives to those fucking idiotic decisions. Have the Art School paid money yet to the residents who were forced out of their homes for months as a result of their negligence? Nah all they care about is getting public funds to rebuild the building they've let burn down twice. It's an absolute joke, the opinions of the pretentious should never be held to higher regard than the impact on actual human lives. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 26th Jan 2022 12:08pm)

Aye mate, same experience with a number of them. LifeLink was one I was engaging with, nearly two years on a waiting list and then I go in for an appointment and it's a wee lassie just out of school giving me the 'oh that sounds difficult, have you tried not doing that?' 'oh okay, well maybe the world isn't as bad as you think it is' yada yada yada. COVID hit and I didn't bother to go back. So aye, they're shite, they're aw stretched thin and the only support they offer is someone to sit listening to you and nodding occasionally. Best thing for my anxiety was pills from the GP, felt like shit for months trying to get the dose right and get used to the side effects but now I barely give a monkeys about anything and express my anger in letters to the government telling them what a disgrace they are. One therapist said one thing that stuck with me and actually helped - It's not that your brain is broken or not working correctly, it's working fine, it's just the world is so broken that we're constantly feeling afraid for the future and our minds are designed to focus on threats and reacting with fear and anger to the world which is pretty bleak as it is isn't a mental health problem - It's just normal. Keep the chin up mate, if you top yourself then the rest of us normal cunts will be left listening to the 'You are loved' pish by ourselves and you know how that goes by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 28th Jan 2022 9:45am)

either that or the drum is at the bingo and theres gonna be a reckoning when they come back and find everycunt in their hoose by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 29th Jan 2022 11:19am)

Heard about one set up for a 'Bar L' - numbers still on google as 0141 770 2000 with the name of the contact being 'Big Stoney' by The_Dildo_Detector (Sun 6th Feb 2022 4:06pm)

Absolutely disgusting comment Jimmy, you can't go about saying peoples weans are constantly staying indoors, it first of all hurts their feelings, and second of all isn't true whatsoever, they're too busy out getting bubble teas for their instagram photies to stay inside by The_Dildo_Detector (Sun 6th Feb 2022 7:39pm)

usually see them at car boot sales at polmadie and the like, no been in years tho by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 8th Feb 2022 5:52pm)

Cunts always bump into you in Edinburgh, I remember a wee lassie trying to walk through me and bouncing off my chest like piss against a wall, dafty by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 9th Feb 2022 2:45pm)

Sacked from teleperformance because some customer kept me on for two hours after my shift ended because she didn't want to be transferred to an 'Indian'. You don't get paid for overtime, but you can technically 'request the time back' - I did so and they processed it, brought me into a meeting where they said I was unprofessional etc and sacked me. Also you're allowed 7 minutes per day of 'personal time' for the toilet, and they try to force you to use it for writing up after call reports. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 21st Feb 2022 1:08pm)

Uber at 11 will be available, it's just whether you can get a hold of the bank to approve a remortgaging of your hoose to afford the bastarding things by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 24th Feb 2022 2:13pm)

Aye you're right, thoughts and prayers are enough to stop bullets by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Feb 2022 10:43am)

Magic Carpet Cabaret in Tchai Ovna was always good, no very busy either so less intimidating by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Feb 2022 1:53pm)

Mungo's Hi Fi - Jump Up Quickly by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Feb 2022 1:51pm)

I wish they'd give these tests to private hires and deliveroo drivers just to make sure they can actually read addresses by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Feb 2022 1:59pm)

Think that's bad? Chippy near me uses 'supper' to mean large. So you want a big tub of curry sauce? That's a curry sauce supper. I had to phone the cunts just to confirm I wasn't gonna receive chips wi ma peas by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Feb 2022 2:01pm)

First things first: There's nothing wrong with you. What you're experiencing is a completely normal reaction. Our brains are constantly on the look out for danger, it's what's got us this far in a dangerous world, but unfortunately when you have access to the entire news of the world it becomes overwhelming. It doesn't help that fear sells, and so the scary stories are always the ones that get the most attention. Right now, the best thing you can do for your health and the health of your loved ones is to focus on reducing your stress levels and managing your anxiety. Regardless of the world around us, in order to survive and perform our necessary functions we need to have our mind clear. You should probably approach your GP and explain that you've been feeling so anxious that it's affecting your life, explain your worries, and get some help. Just remember though - You're not going mad, your mind is reacting in a predictable and understandable way to what you've been exposed to, but hearing the whims of random dictators half the world across on a daily basis is not natural, and that's the problem. Also - You don't need to keep up with the news cycle, there is no moral obligation to stand witness to the suffering of the world when all that does is make you suffer along with it. Get off the internet, go to the cat cafe at Gallowgate and spend some time relaxing and surrounding yourself with those you love. I was fortunate that my breakdown was the year before the pandemic so I've been able to help a lot of friends and family with the same advice as helped me. Don't worry, you're not alone! by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 28th Feb 2022 3:16pm)

I know everybody else is saying Slaters, and I'm gonna say Slaters as well because they are an absolute institution. I was unemployed for a few years, on the dole and finally had an interview. Jobcentre gave me a cheque for 150 to get a suit for the interview. I went in with my wee slip from the jobcentre listing what I needed, gave it to one of the older guys that worked there, and he checked the list they'd given, asked me a few questions and instead of giving me things like a tie, socks, etc which I already had (and didn't need) he made sure that for the money I got multiple sets of work clothes that fit and shoes for the job I was doing. Those clothes lasted me so long, that by the time I was replacing the shirts I'd nearly forgot my experience. Just the standard of respect, care, and attention to my needs given when I was at my mental lowest, even when they knew from the beginning I was there with my wee coupon from the dole. I wouldn't buy a suit anywhere else, they've already won my business for a lifetime. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 28th Feb 2022 3:28pm)

There's usually something happening around the Unis. I would check the Queen Margaret Union and you'll be bound to find something by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 7th Mar 2022 9:32am)

The standard uber experience: 7.00pm - Start looking for an uber. 7.15pm - There's no a 3x surge so nae cunt takes the job. 7.45pm - cunt accepts job, drives for literally miles in the opposite direction or just sits at a hoose for 20 minutes, forcing you to cancel and get hit with a cancellation fee. 8.15pm - driver turns up, you now have a 50/50 between someone who can't take any verbal instructions and doesn't know where Great Western Road is, or worse yet somebody that thinks having you in the motor gives them a free therapy session. 8.45pm - You arrive late to your destination, check your bank and have to file for a crisis loan just to pay it. Promise never again. Got to the point now where it's quicker, cheaper, more convenient to fire myself in a big circus cannon at my destination. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 8th Mar 2022 3:28pm)

Pisses me off, I work in the NHS and we are still FUCKED from covid. Didn't help that the majority of upper managers are useless cunts who do next to nothing other than pad their CV by reorganizing things every year or two, so our waiting lists are still absolutely fucked, less staff than ever, bigger waiting lists than ever, and a useless wee prick of a 'Health Minister' too busy getting political points to give a shit as the corpses pile high around us. So aye, when I hear some 'sorry but covid' bullshit from companies that have always been chronically useless or criminally negligent I nearly flip ma lid as well. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 9th Mar 2022 3:03pm)

Had one letting agency phone us after applying to say another couple had offered 100 extra a month and wondered if we wanted to try to beat that. Told them to go chase themselves. A lot of them are taking 'holding deposits' as well, which is not legal as far as I remember. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 11th Mar 2022 9:18am)

Referred to Arndale in Drumchapel because problems concentrating in work and therapist thought it would be worthwhile getting a diagnosis. Psychiatrist was very poor in quality, and told me they wouldn't give me a diagnosis because if I wasn't getting arrested all the time then they didn't think it was important. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 11th Mar 2022 10:39am)

Same psychiatrist answered the phone while I was telling her about how I'd top myself and then negotiated window prices with the cunt on the phone for the 5 mins, was a bit of the twilight zone in that place by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 11th Mar 2022 10:54am)

Think GeekRetreat in the city centre was running commander games, not sure if they're still doing it as this was precovid. Word of warning though, it's moist in there. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 11th Mar 2022 10:57am)

The city has changed so rapidly in the last 20 years that places like the gorbals that used to be rougher than an elephants sack have become much more family friendly. I doubt there's many areas if any that still are dangerous. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 11th Mar 2022 12:24pm)

Alain! What a guy man! by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 15th Mar 2022 3:04pm)

I wouldn't worry about it mate, cunts on this subreddit smoke too much wacky backy and start with the conspiracies. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 16th Mar 2022 3:24pm)

Maybe there is a conspiracy, somebody's out there starting fires, laundering money, the Roma are now moving onto reddit for large scale begging operations in order to drive the rental market up 25% in order to specifically target YOU by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 16th Mar 2022 3:31pm)

There is established work by the nhs which shows the majority of drug overdoses in Glasgow occur in the 20% most deprived areas. You can check these on the Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation which is here - https://simd.scot/#/simd2020_20pc/BTTTFTT/10.918691196414002/-4.1635/55.7082/ by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 17th Mar 2022 12:51am)

Nah don't worry, I was just putting it on a bit for the dramatics! The reason a lot of people type like that is partly because it's easier especially when you're using more specifically scottish terms (no vs not, naw vs no) because in otherwise normal english it looks a bit out of place. I think it's partly just to keep the culture alive as otherwise it feels like all english turns into americanised chat over time due to their considerable cultural influence! by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 17th Mar 2022 9:12am)

I think there's a lot of people that find it difficult to read because there's no real common spellings etc and you end up having to read it phonetically half the time. Doric is easier to read but harder to translate because I don't live in Aberdeen and speak it frequently by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 17th Mar 2022 9:51am)

Polis in the UK have enough blanket powers to detain, search, etc with zero oversight. I don't want to give the power to jail me for having a drink to some two-bob security guard with a hard-on for brutality. Would rather give junkies the legal right to piss on my leg until my shoes were dripping by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 11:22am)

Asda George does slip resistant work books that are decent by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 11:26am)

Have you noticed it's nearly the exact same accent Scottish Youtubers end up using anaw? by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 1:52pm)

Aye true, n wit? by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:17pm)

It's a satirical post highlighting what I feel is a problem with specifically the city of Glasgow in that we're the only city that criminalises drinking in the park, and despite the continual 'shortage of staff' line we hear from Police Scotland regarding genuinely harmful crimes, we continually deploy police en masse to do bag checking at park entrances. The fact that this subreddit is almost exclusively commented on by wee poshboys who think anybody in a tracksuit is going murder them is perhaps the reason for the negative reaction on this post, but it makes no difference to me as I have said my piece. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:23pm)

Sauchiehall St on a Friday is equally as apocalyptic, should we ban alcohol altogether? Or should we perhaps learn that punishing an entire population based on the actions of a few doesn't seem to have worked and maybe we can look at addressing it in a better way? It's the same with minimum alcohol pricing, biggest effect is on increased admissions for acute alcohol withdrawal to A&E, but apparently treating people with a genuine health problem as human beings is beyond the scope of our heavy handed government. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:27pm)

Aye it's true, everyone who posts a question you don't like is actually the same person! You've caught us (me). I wonder if you realise that your dismissive attitude towards the experiences of others is actively harmful? For example, if a woman complains about the lack of lighting and police patrols through the night in a busy park (Kelvingrove) but complains about the complete opposite during the daylight hours checking bags, would you also dismiss and mock this person's experience? No snarky replies please, I genuinely would like a serious answer by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:41pm)

I don't drink, however unlike many in this subreddit I actually leave my house, and as such I've noticed that the city centre is rapidly getting more violent and as such I feel that policing priorities should be reviewed. I should have just made one of a thousand posts about looking for a vegan chinese in the west end and got better and more serious responses, this subreddit is an absolute dive by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:46pm)

'on the internet, nobody knows you are a dog' by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:52pm)

Aye because that's what I said. 10/10 on reading and comprehension. I love how reddit is filled with people like yourself whose entire contribution to the discussion is semantics! You should apply for the council! by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 3:51pm)

Don't worry, I just leave my shite on the internet! (Also I am actually chomping at the bit to go to Suissi) by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 4:19pm)

Thank you, good bot! by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 4:43pm)

You're quite right, that was a very stupid reply from me! by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 4:56pm)

Oh yes I have encountered them on here definitely, but I can't say I am any better - I was just venting frustration and tried to be funny at the same time, but a moan is a moan, and I am definitely a chronic moaner by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 6:37pm)

The most glaswegian thing I have ever seen was a guy in partick at like 8 in the morning walking up the bit where it joins the motorway near hayburn court, full green lacoste trackies, duffel bag at the waist throwing full raw chickens to an absolute team of foxes following him by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 18th Mar 2022 6:42pm)

You might have more luck looking for clay shooting (shotgun) and looking further away, seems to be more popular up north than down here, geez an update if you find a place, I look every now and again then give up by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 22nd Mar 2022 6:36pm)

When you are in the hospital sign up for Sage & Thyme workshops. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 23rd Mar 2022 8:41am)

I think there's something very clearly occult going on, I mean, it's goats for christ sake, they're always up to something. You can't trust any creature that scales cliffs without a bother, it's unspeakable. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 23rd Mar 2022 7:16pm)

They did take the hotdog vendor out of the catty which of course is a tragedy by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 24th Mar 2022 10:22pm)

Best place to invest, just pay one cunt to start a fire and you can build your 2k a month per person student flats by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Mar 2022 10:20am)

Don't worry we don't generally give cards or gifts when we move into a new place. It's generally considered polite to nod and say hello to your neighbours in passing, and older people will be more likely to talk to you as we used to have a strong community culture of neighbours being friends and spending a lot of time talking to one another but it's not expected. Although if you do have an elderly neighbour it is good to keep an eye out for them and in case of any extreme weather check if they need any essentials like milk, bread, etc. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 25th Mar 2022 10:49pm)

Cannae listen because I'm in work but looks like the classic Hokey Cokey to me by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 28th Mar 2022 9:38am)

No, you shouldn't put a noise complaint in, and yes you are just being a miserable cunt. It's fair enough wanting peace when you're sleeping but you've chosen to live there and enjoy access to all the conveniences otherwise - This is the downside. Would you be phoning the polis about the amount of traffic if you lived across from the motorway? Same shit by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 28th Mar 2022 10:04am)

Imagine it like this - When you are making a campfire you try and use the most dry materials you can find, but by the point you're a few hours into burning you can start using wood that's a bit damp because the heat will dry it out quicker than the moisture can dampen the fire. With a forest fire you're looking at a potentially huge fire, a lot of heat as a result, and the layering of grass and other bits of kindling with the dry stuff on top (because of the sun) means that there's enough material to spread to, and the heat will rapidly dry anything required to continue itself. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 28th Mar 2022 10:16am)

Aye, I turned up to one and they all had old meme t-shirts and kept asking me what my favourite reddit post of all time was and when I said I didn't have one they made me sit there while they all took turns spitting in my mouth, I wasn't allowed to close my mouth and I worry what would have happened if I did. Absolute freaks. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 30th Mar 2022 9:11am)

It makes me annoyed that mask wearing or not mask wearing is apparently the measure by which we gauge how seriously the public takes the pandemic, especially considering the evidence now indicates that the benefits of wearing a mask are minimal and require very strict conditions such as a maximum worn time, etc in order to provide even a marginal benefit. People are far too zealous now and quickly you get labelled a covid denying antivax nutter from people who rely on STV news for all of their information by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 30th Mar 2022 9:38am)

This should be much higher, always a good place to get a wee kink rubbed out by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 2:03pm)

It usually works out cheaper depending on how much you'll be travelling to just use the app and prepay for either a day ticket (as many times are you want til midnight) or all week (same but 7 days) Otherwise you want to look up what the price a single is and put that into the wee machine and say 'single please'. That's usually about 2.50, that gets you basically a seat on the bus until you get off and then it's useless. The cheaper tickets like the 1.70 are what's called 'short hops' and honestly unless you're prepared for an argument you're better off no buying one, no driver seems to know how long it is and if you stay on one stop too long they either say nothing or start trying to argue with you, which can be annoying. Bear in mind some drivers are just chronic wallopers and try to make things as difficult as they can just out of badness, but majority are sound and will be able to help if you have any questions. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 3:10pm)

Sorry for the arseholes - People on this subreddit unfortunately only want to discuss arson accusations! If you're in the west end try Ubiquitous Chip. It's on the higher price range, but they've been running successfully for years, food is good and interior decor is stunning by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 3:17pm)

Geez peace - What's annoying is arseholes interrupting every post to copy and paste the same bullshit 'use the search bar' response. Big surprise it's a subreddit for a medium sized city, people will ask questions about visiting, and reading some unfunny cunt's suggestion of best kebab 10 months ago isn't helpful if you can find the fucking thing to begin with. Stop being a wee gatekeeping chode online. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 4:44pm)

I wouldn't stress yourself about it - This subreddit is filled with the very same people who think you should call the police because your elderly neighbours TV is too loud. It's sadly an embarrassment to the otherwise fine city. Also just so you know Okome on Byres Road does the best Katsu Curry in the city in my opinion. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 4:42pm)

Just to answer your query - Geez peace in this situation means 'be silent'. I hope that clarifies the mixed messaging! by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 1st Apr 2022 5:37pm)

If you follow the cycle path up to Bowling/Old Kilpatrick it's amazing and honestly feels like going on some Fellowship of the Ring style trek! by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 4th Apr 2022 12:05pm)

Earl St is fine, used to be much worse. Best to avoid ground floor tho. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 4th Apr 2022 12:23pm)

This isn't meant to be a backhanded question, but one I often wonder - What are you hoping to achieve with this? by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 4th Apr 2022 3:59pm)

I was hoping to get an answer to my question and find out more about the motivations of people who organise and attend these protests of solidarity. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 4th Apr 2022 4:35pm)

I'm definitely a cynic normally, but tbh I think I just don't get out that much because I know a lot of people who've went to ones for Black Lives Matter in the green, or protests for Ukraine etc. I just always wondered if there was some comfort to it for people, or if it helped alleviate some anxieties. I sometimes feel a wee bit like an outsider observing humans from behind a twitching curtain! by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 4th Apr 2022 4:46pm)

Don't know why you are getting hate, a lot of delivery drivers are absolutely shocking at the job, whether it's stealing bits and pieces from the order or just no turning up at all. You're better off not ordering through any of the big delivery apps like UberEats, Deliveroo, etc. They seem like they hire just anybody, better off getting from a restaurant direct. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 5th Apr 2022 9:05am)

You sound annoyed by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 5th Apr 2022 1:50pm)

I understand your frustration, but in retrospect do you not think that making an assumption about someone and then reacting to that assumption rather than looking at it as a genuine query is bad practice? In addition, when you say the point is historically obvious, I don't think you're correct. If you look at the numbers at protests in the UK, especially the largest ones, they did not achieve any of their objectives. The largest being the Stop the Iraq War march, which obviously didn't stop the Iraq war. My question was in spite of the fact it won't change anything, is there a benefit that is gained that I am not aware of? I got a lot of great answers from people talking about how simply meeting people affected by the same problems helps with managing these mentally, as well as opening them up to more direct political action and networking with people who set these things up. Sorry for the three paragraphs, I am just trying to explain the context in which I asked my question out of curiosity, but I do understand there is an awful lot of dismissive cynicism masked as innocent questions and I do understand it's very easy to start to see the same questions with the same eyes. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 5th Apr 2022 2:01pm)

You don't need to apologise whatsoever! Sorry, my tone might come across as a bit cold in text, and I promise that's not intentional, I just sometimes write my thoughts as they appear and just wanted to provide more context because I'm very aware that my username (which I originally made to troll The_Donald years ago) and question comes across as being at the wind up, which is really the reason I wanted to clarify more in my reply to you! I think one of the problems now when we look back at movements like the Suffragettes and the civil rights movement especially under King in the US is that these movements fundamentally worked and accomplished their goals. Now policy makers and the key people in business are very careful in undermining the support for similar movements today because the one thing the patriarchal establishment hates is change, especially led by people they barely consider equals. It's the same thing with the labour movement following the great depression and WW2. We're now at a point where inequality is becoming greater than ever, and these movements are more relevant than ever, but at the same time the propaganda attempting to undermine them is as refined as it has ever been. Sorry for the rather long ramble, in the midst of a long running mental health episode recently and so I have a tendency to monologue and sometimes go off in tangents that aren't related to my original point! by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 5th Apr 2022 2:27pm)

Aye I think it's telling that the only places that really advertise it are the Blue Lagoons in the city centre, as well as their Justin Bieber haggis supper. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 6th Apr 2022 9:11am)

As much as you can help it, neither a borrower nor a lender be. When tapping anybody money, especially friends and family, you are better to consider it gone if they don't return it. Even £500 is not worth the grief and stress, you're better off cutting your loss. There are ways you can turn the screws and apply some pressure to get your money back, but you don't seem like that sort of person, so I would just cut your losses. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 6th Apr 2022 9:20am)

Imagine being on Gordon St, hearing glass smash above you, and being skudded with a bowling ball from above. Would be like the Glaswegian Aeschylus. by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 6th Apr 2022 9:25am)

Just wanted to post this as I just seen it today and it's an absolute beast. I love that they keep trying to paint these boards back to fag packet brown but every time new art gets added by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 4th May 2022 11:26am)

fuckin shut up, you would have done fuck all so don't act otherwise, mad reddit hardcunt, geez peacr by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 6th May 2022 10:53am)

Susan Aitken looks like somebody crossed a vampire and a torn faced call centre manager by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 6th May 2022 12:04pm)

away back to watching avengers wee man by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 6th May 2022 12:03pm)

aye good one, acting hard online to compensate for the fact your mrs was shagging allsorts and you done nothing by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 6th May 2022 12:09pm)

no sure but there's always a big group of them, they never walk alone by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 6th May 2022 1:34pm)

Kings on Sauchiehall St, more like a traditional kebab shop, but they don't ever compromise on quality of ingredients and you can tell by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 7th May 2022 8:29pm)

MacDonners do an absolutely banging kebab shop style pizza by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 7th May 2022 8:30pm)

you can do swordfighting/archery with the vanguard centre by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 10th May 2022 10:13pm)

If you've not spoken to your neighbour about the noise and the first time they hear about your complaint is through the police at the door, then you are an arsehole who should go live in the woods. Stop phoning the fucking polis and talk to your neighbours. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 12th May 2022 2:18pm)

We need to round them up and put them in camps to be systematically re-educated or executed. There is absolutely no reason in this day and age that anyone should be outdoors for any reason. We need to punish all of those who dare gather in public, I mean social distancing fuck sake, don't they know gathering outside for anything other than collecting our bread ration is not just unacceptable, it's downright criminal. I would go as far as saying that we need to dismantle the entire of organised and amateur football, we need to dissolve all of the balls in a thick acid to ensure they are never booted against a wall again, we need to sabotage the goal posts, mine the football fields (so fuck if you walk your dug there, this is serious). I mean, I know I probably just don't understand basic human behaviour and emotions, but that's their problem not mine, I want them all jailed, ma wee dug would have shat himself if I took him outside but sensibly I didn't but do you know how hard it is to deal with making your wee fur baby upset? I'm wanting emotional damages off these clubs for the horrific experience. ^ This is what it feels like reading this subreddit every time football fans celebrate. Get a grip, cunts wreck cities for hockey across the world as well, don't need to rip the knitting. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 17th May 2022 9:50am)

Aye, it's annoying, but it's about the same scale as fireworks going off in the middle of the night is annoying, nobody is harmed, just annoying. However there are a million things in the world that are genuinely awful, thousands alone within the city; the rise in homelessness and dependence on foodbanks, cunts topping themselves left right and centre from isolation and dread for an unaffordable future in a dying world, so maybe just let cunts blow off some steam once in a while. Aye I agree it's annoying, aye cunts are animals, but nobody's dying, nobody has lost any limbs, the streets will go back to the same puke splattered and smashed up glory they were before the additional rubbish was added, and I'm sure all the wee dugs have probably calmed down by now as well by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 17th May 2022 11:44pm)

the Low Emissions Zone idea is a total joke unless they replace the entire bus fleet with electric/something that doesn't choke any cunt that comes near it. The air quality assessments they commissioned demonstrate the problem is consistently the bus routes, I think Hope St was the only one breaching PM 2.5 recommended emissions, and with mounting evidence about the pollutants coming from diesel engines it's very clear that tackling the buses would be the most forward thinking plan. With the trains not looking like they'll recover anytime soon and a pending ban on private transport within the LEZ, the demand for bus travel will obviously increase, potentially exacerbating the problem by having more buses idling through the city centre. It's reasons like this I have a bugbear with the council and the scottish government, consistently backwards future planning by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 8th Jun 2022 11:26am)

It's 35 quid for them to come out and pick up all your shite, you just need to list what you want taken. i.e. Item 1 is your microwave, Item 2 is your mattress, item 3 is your dildo swing chair, etc. Also, last year I paid the 35 quid and ended up with nearly double the shite I had listed on the uplift form, chanced it and left out the lot and they took it no complaints. And aye, it's a bump but better than humfin the lot up to the dump to get told it's shut for covid by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 8th Jun 2022 11:45am)

This is not the correct answer, unless you are an existing patient, have been referred by your dentist or GP, you will be turned away and will have wasted your time by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 10th Jun 2022 11:10am)

It is a recent change caused by the pandemic and also the fact that the Emergency Dental Treatment Centre moved from Level 1 GDH to Townhead and then back again. Patients can't just turn up anymore since the pandemic and need to get assessed and triaged via the phone and then they get advised on where to go. GPs can also refer to the Public Dental Service which runs the majority of the urgent services for dental care, and they're also probably the go-to for if you can't find a dentist. Also the dental hospital is split between the first floor which is the Emergency Dental Treatment Centre which is run by the Public Dental Service and the rest of the Dental Hospital which are specialist tertiary services which require a GP/Dentist referral - So phoning the emergency treatment line is the best option, but after 5pm, 111 is the place to phone. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 10th Jun 2022 1:22pm)

Looks like it's run by a bunch of posh boys with no business experience hoping to basically market it well enough to hook in dafties by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 10th Jun 2022 1:43pm)

Irn Bru and the culture surrounding it are cringe as fuck, trust chronic patter always online Scottish people to try turn it into a personality when it's just another shite soft drink owned by an American conglomerate. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Jun 2022 10:52am)

Speaking of bitter fannies, tell your mum that mayonnaise doesn't 'reset the pH', it's stinking by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Jun 2022 12:31pm)

I would argue we have the best climate because we have zero natural disasters happen regularly, heatwaves don't kill tens of thousands, we always have ample supply of fresh water whereas cities with millions of inhabitants can run dry for weeks or months. Weather here is a bit of an inconvenience at times but still probably the best in the world by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 13th Jun 2022 1:35pm)

It's patronising not because of the specific language but because it's a corporation whose activities have consistently fucked everyone in the country (2008 for example) trying to sell itself back to us as if we're all fucking dafties that are gonna hear an advert about how great Scottish people are using national stereotypes, and think 'Oh aye better start banking with those lovely RBS types, a good Scottish bank for Scottish people" by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 23rd Jun 2022 1:34pm)

Think Green Chilli Cafe is another casualty by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 23rd Jun 2022 2:14pm)

Seen they've got their front door boarded up when I passed this morning, they still trading? by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 23rd Jun 2022 2:13pm)

I won't lie, it's a difficult choice, within the same square mile there's probably enough high quality indian food places that you'd never go hungry. I recommend Mother India, last time I was there I left full and happy by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 23rd Jun 2022 2:12pm)

Nup was on Dumbarton Road at the Finnieston/Anderston bit, but that honestly sounds amazing, another lost treasure by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 24th Jun 2022 11:27am)

your best bet honestly is using either google maps or the first bus app to work out best bus from A to B, asking drivers not only half the time is pointless but you can see half the bus shooting daggers at you at the same time by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 25th Jun 2022 6:28pm)

Please don't feel unsafe, it sounds like someone else's business so don't worry about it, could just be some mad drama over family bullshit, you never know with these things and unless you hear somebody in trouble then usually it's nothing to worry about by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 25th Jun 2022 6:32pm)

So if I get put in the jail for a crime I haven't committed and I'm found not proven, are they still allowed to keep my DNA? How long can they keep it? How is this data kept secure? by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 29th Jun 2022 2:46pm)

I think we need to get rid of landleeches but the reason they don't usually allow dogs or cats is that they're barred by their insurance, I had a big chat with my landlord who other than being a fly thieving bastard was not bad, and he explained that's the reason. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 30th Jun 2022 12:46pm)

No gonna lie mate, I have no idea, reading back the comment I wrote makes it sound like I was really certain on it but on looking back I was just saying what my landlord said when I asked if I could get a cat, then started asking about millipedes and shit so he probably just said it to shut me up by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 30th Jun 2022 6:38pm)

If you can prove your claim of rights being taken away in the UK in regards to healthcare that would do a lot more for your cause than hanging about in George Square by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 10:41am)

'Folk can care about more than one issue' - then why don't they? why is it they only care about the top 5 trending things on twitter? by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 10:47am)

I think all the right minded people, i.e. the compassionate and the kind, get increasingly drawn into matters which are irrelevant for them because they're trending on social media. Unfortunately what trends on social media tends to be America-centric. I can't fault them because they've got the right attitude, it's just that they're blinkered to all the suffering going on around them because they view reality through the words on a screen rather than in person. by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 10:46am)

You'd basically be living in the place with the second worst air quality in the city, although I think Hope St still wins on particulate matter by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 5:02pm)

Actually St Andrews St would very likely be absolutely fine (it's rated as good for sufferers of respiratory issues). The majority of the city has good air quality but there are a couple of spots generally in the streets around Central Station that have slow moving traffic and a lot of buses which cause it to jump, specifically Hope St and Union/Jamaica St. The map I'm using for reference is https://aqicn.org/city/united-kingdom/scotland/glasgow-kerbside/ by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 8:17pm)

So I wasn't sure myself so I had a bit of a look about, and there's this report which mentions the specifics of the data collection and the work on air quality within Glasgow specifically. It has pictures of some of the collection points and they are at street level approximately waist-chest height on the average person - https://uk-air.defra.gov.uk/assets/documents/no2ten/Local_zone37_Glasgow_AQActionplan_1.pdf by The_Dildo_Detector (Tue 12th Jul 2022 9:43pm)

Spend 30 quid on messages from deliveroo, order turns up and it's about 5 quid of items, nothing marked as missing so I click order help, select the missing items, get told 'Sorry we can't help with that' from the deliveroo app. Some places, especially Morrisons in Partick consistently give you less than half your order (which would be fine if they marked the items as unavailable) but it means I need to fight with a fucking machine for a refund every time. Am still no a cunt to the driver tho by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 14th Jul 2022 9:31am)

In ma work there's showers and changing rooms etc, but I've seen people in the skud giving their hawmaws a wee wash in the sink by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 14th Jul 2022 10:08am)

Min wage, min effort, don't change mate; they'd have you sucking the shites oot their arses for the same wage if they could get away with it. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 14th Jul 2022 1:51pm)

Or wit? by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 14th Jul 2022 4:01pm)

Stop asking about this nonsense, it's a hoax, and it really frightens people when you mention it after what happened the last time when cunts took it too far. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 15th Jul 2022 12:02pm)

Yes, Edinburgh feels a bit like Scottish Disneyland, except the castles are real by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 15th Jul 2022 5:58pm)

If you want to know you'll need to email The Digger for their archives from 2005-2010, main event was in 2009 but you'd need the full context. They're probably the only people comfortable enough to mention the details or any names because the hatchet is still unburied and the worst people have the best memories. by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 15th Jul 2022 6:01pm)

i think its clear why they kept pushing it, somebody clearly made an absolute bung regardless of the cost, but best left unsaid considering the reach of sticky wee fingers even now by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 15th Jul 2022 6:10pm)

Probably because it's a front for money laundering and having an easily accessible rate of fare makes the counting a bit easier for the polis. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 10:49am)

I go for the old Saudi Witch treatment. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 10:48am)

I believe we're currently in the middle of the largest bird flu outbreak in recent memory. That being said though, they should be isolating at home to stop the spread. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 10:51am)

do they still do their cullen skink?? by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 1:30pm)

Load of nonsense anyway mate, how are they even meant to wear masks when they've got nae ears? Sturgeon must go by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 6:32pm)

Hello OP, I am actually an Orthnithologist who specialises in aves of the family Columbidae, which are the doves and the pigeons, although the doos I assume you refer to are actually properly called rock doves due to the fact they mainly populate rocky outcrops inland. I can tell you that from my considerable experience that while most doves or pigeons can breed at any point of the year, they tend to prefer spring and summer when it becomes warmer. As a result of us now being in July, with summer now in full spring it's expected that the juveniles, depending on time of breeding of course, would now be in their 'teenage years' of approximately 22ish days, which as a result means that the parent doves or pigeons who are normally diurnal which is to say they are awake during the day, now opt for a semi-nocturnal pattern in which they stay up later on the piss while the teens are sleeping, and as a result it can be alarming to normal passersby to see a small collection of steaming rock doves in the middle of the road not giving a fuck. Of course it depends on the specific nature of the bird in question which is the reason for the variation and how you tend to see them in small ma or da packs. Hope that clarifies! by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 18th Jul 2022 6:41pm)

People on this subreddit are curtain twitching shitebags by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 22nd Jul 2022 9:00am)

try saying that to the weans instead of posting here by The_Dildo_Detector (Sat 23rd Jul 2022 8:26pm)

You're left with three shite options if they're no answering the door - 1. Book a week off work, blast German industrial techno 24/7 until they come to your door then start negotiating. 2. Staplegun a note to their door saying 'Your weans are making too much noise, get them sorted' and your phone number. 3. If you think there's an actual domestic abuse situation then phone the NSPCC and explain your concerns, they'll get someone to do a welfare check. You could try the polis but they're pretty useless in these situations. by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 25th Jul 2022 4:00pm)

must be some size of mice that eat dug eating snakes by The_Dildo_Detector (Mon 25th Jul 2022 8:55pm)

Polis too busy acting as bouncers at the parks by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 10:47am)

That bits fuckin lethal, obviously doesn't help that the stupid cycle path bit of Sauchiehall St suddenly just blends into the pavement and road there by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 11:27am)

To be fair, what daft bastard decided to put it in the middle of the pavement? by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 11:32am)

Aye cunts think it's the yellow brick road holding hands skipping down the thing by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 12:51pm)

I know it's no much help at the moment, but there's a website up asking people to get together and cancel your energy direct debits on Oct 1st if they raise it any more. I signed up for it because people are at the point now where they can't just can't survive any longer or anything more. http://dontpay.uk by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 6:35pm)

where's that guy always rattling on about the startups when a clear opportunity presents itself by The_Dildo_Detector (Wed 3rd Aug 2022 7:35pm)

The electoral system is a joke, it is a masquerade, counting on any government to make changes in favour of citizens is the same as hoping wolves will protect the flock. They can chase me and try cut my supply if they want, but I'm signed up and cancelling anyway, I have more faith in collective action than I do in any government intervention and if you had any sense you'd be the same. by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 4th Aug 2022 10:10am)

I think the goal is for a million to sign up. I'm with you in terms of hesitation and doubts as well, I'm just trying to push them out of my mind, I know from experience though that energy companies won't cut you off after a month of non-payment (I thought the letters I was getting from EDF Energy were a scam so dinghied them for about 4 months before I sorted it out and started paying!) by The_Dildo_Detector (Thu 4th Aug 2022 12:51pm)

I remember back in the day camping in the street at the four corners for T in the Park tickets, definitely gave you an appreciation for blending in any not making any noise to attract the fuckin zombies by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 5th Aug 2022 11:17am)

They emailed me yesterday saying they've got 75k signed up at the moment, I was reading as well that it might be sensible option to put in a complaint about pricing before cancelling the direct debit so that by some person on facebook's logic they need to resolve the complaint before proceeding with punitive actions which could be a good tactic to legally avoid a cut-off. To be honest with you though I'm much more motivated with fear than bravery, I am afraid of society becoming more cruel towards the vulnerable, because while I'm not vulnerable and would have zero qualms about crime as a means of survival, I feel that if I don't do whatever to fuck the energy companies and send them a message then I am just sitting by watching as they sentence people to death by The_Dildo_Detector (Fri 5th Aug 2022 1:06pm)